Archive for the "Adam Lambert" Category

Adam Lambert and his Boy Toy Arrested for Assault!

Apparently when you go to Finland some shit starts to happen. Adam Lambert and his boyfriend Sauli Koskinen started arguing in the middle of the night at a bar in Finland. The argument got so heated that they took it to the streets and started to fight each other! It’s being reported that Lambert got physical with people who tried to break-up the fight before the cops arrived and arrested Adam and Sauli. They were released sometime later and the charges have since been dropped. Adam Lambert took to his twitter and blamed the fight on jetlag and vodka. He also says that he and his boyfriend are already laughing about the fight. Well, how cute is that? I’ve always wanted to get into a fight outside a bar in Finland; it’s on my bucket list. I wonder if they are slappers or punchers. I think Adam can throw down, I bet he was throwing some punches. Doing one of his famous loud ‘screams.’ AHHH WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM, SAULI? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME ADAM, GEEZ! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME? JUST FUCKING HIT ME, ADAM! DO IT, DAMNIT! ….at least that is how it went down in my head.
 

Adam Lambert Fights a Photographer and Keeps His Manicure Intact

Adam Lambert has just taught the world a lesson: Gay people can kick ass just like straight people, except sometimes they might look a little better doing it. Don’t think because a dude has his fingernails and toenails painted to perfection and is wearing what could only be described as  gay beachwear (or what a 45 year old that’s going on a gay safari might wear) that he won’t beat your parasitic ass to the ground if provoked.  Glambert unleashed his can of whoopass yesterday on a paparazzo hounding him on Miami’s South Beach.

Oh and as an added bonus some chick in a skimpy bikini decided to show her ass while all the beach buggery was going on.

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Adam Lambert holds back vomit, manages to tongue girl

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Queers of this universe, you are entitled to an uproar. Details magazine has taken your favorite poster boy of the moment for shower jerk-offs and has turned him into an awkward closet hetero…which by the way is as convincing as Tom Cruise trying to insinuate he actually did manual labour in Katie’s mine in order to reproduce Suri and did not infact use a sperm gun blessed by the Church..because ofcourse he’s not into male bonding at all…but anyway, we digress…back to Adam Lambert and his queer but not proud of it moment. Either the magazine has missed the point that Adam’s favorite past time is when he turns his boyfriend’s arse into a lollipop, or and blimey, that might be it, Adam has a new album to sell and making a few women still hold on to the hope he actually does not want to throw up when images of boobs come to his mind could actually give sales a big boner.

 

Unofficially gay Adam Lambert out with his very officially gay boyfriend

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Seriously? Adam Lambert is a homosexual? You mean all that make-up was not to get Gene Simmon’s attention but to get all the boys hot and bothered? We are absolutely shocked to the tits (male tits, that is)! But wait, we can’t make any assumptions…holding a seriously gay guy’s hand coming out of Guys and Dolls nightclub doesn’t mean anything…it could be that his mascara run into his eyes and he just needed someone (prefereably with a swing to his spring) to help him exit the premises safely without eating pavement dirt.

And so unfortunately, we have to wait for the next issue of Rolling Stones before we can say with certainty whether Adam likes his love interest to come with butt hair…because that’s when the holy grail of Adam Lambert’s sexuality will be officially revealed…and you know, nothing is as it seems until someone gets paid to say so in a magazine…preferably with a glossy spread…