SexyGossip

Katie “Jordan” Price just got married to the guy she cheated her ex-husband with on Tuesday. The unholy union between the giant bozangas and the lipstick-loving salami she’s been dating for the past seven months occurred in a Las Vegas hotel and was promptly followed by strippers breaking a twenty by shaking their panties. A wedded bliss we’re sure will last as long as it takes the check from the magazine who covered the classy shindig to clear.

Via The Sun:

They shunned a romantic dinner or an evening in their hotel room to go with pals to the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club in Las Vegas.

The couple spent more than four hours in a $1,000(£630)-an-hour private room called The Skybox with a constant rotation of the club’s best lapdancers.

Sapphire boasts that it has at least 400 girls working at any time.

One girl said: “All sorts of stuff goes on up in The Skybox. That’s where you get the best treatment.

“Anything can happen in The Skybox – the girls really let go.”

Here’s Jordan’s crossdresser cage-fighter boyfriend Alex Reid looking like he’s about to explode from pleasure at the feel of Jordan’s cheap (and most likely unwashed) shiny spandex touching his taped weaner.

See, Jordan had him wear the same outfit she wore to Ibiza the week she spent having a dozen men draw graffiti on its crotch with their spunk (is tape as good a prophylactic as a condom from crusty STDs?). The funny this is that the scary tranny boyfriend (despite the bow legs, busted nose, whore make-up and an adam’s apple as big as an elevator) rocked the outfit much better than she did (see Jordan’s wrinkled stomach peeking through the same outfit from the Sodom and Gomora week of hers).

Jordan and her four alter-egos were at the book signing of her new style guide (??) book Standing Out at Selfridges in London which pretty much gives advise on how to look slutty enough to cause 10 pimps to stab each other over who’s going to own you and tips on how to get your boobs done cheap in the Philippines and be back on the streets hustling within 24 hours.

Leave it up to Jordan to find a mate that is a formidable opponent in the biggest slut competition…and from the looks of it, she’s left huffing and puffing for the second place. Because after all, who can compete with a man who likes to get his balls licked by a goat while applying his lipstick?

But Jordan couldn’t be happier and has taken to the British tabloids to brag about her wild sex with Alex Reid when he dresses as his female alter ego Roxanne.

According to The Sun, Jordan happily admitted that she loves dolling up the cross-dressing cage fighter in dresses and fake lashes before taking him to bed.

And in a dig at ex-hubby Peter Andre, Jordan boasted her sex life had never been so adventurous.

The slut-o-mom-of-three said: “The outfit changes, the make-up, hair, the lot. And I boss him about.

“Before Alex met me, he hadn’t dressed up for a year. And when he told me, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I’ve got to dress you up.’

“So I dress him – the wigs, eyelashes, everything. And at first he was like, ‘This is a bit weird, I’m not used to a girl doing me up.’

“Call me strange, call me weird, whatever – but I love it.”

Jordan, 31, revealed Alex, 34, had lost a nipple after using a clamp on it during sex. She told the Graham Norton show (BBC1 show): “You name it, he’s been there, done it.

“He says he’s trisexual – I’ve never been with anyone so adventurous. Anything goes with him. I’m having such a fun time.”

Jordan proved she’s as classy as they come by telling the show she’s been thrown off Facebook for posting her holiday lover Brazilian Andre Pinto’s horse-like penis.

She said: “I met a guy in Ibiza and s****** him three times, and he’s done a kiss-and-tell.

“So I decided to get him back, and on Facebook this week I put a picture of his face and his c***.

“It was huge. Well they disqualified me and took me off Facebook.”

What’s better than a cage fight, a 100 people injured and a chance to strip in public at taking your mind off fake rape claims? Fresh off from leading the British Police into a frenzy over who climbed down her porcupine bush when she wasn’t looking, Jordan attended her boyfriend’s cage fight on Saturday night and apparently got turned on by a lot of broken teeth and bleeding noses.

A source of The Sun at the event, where Alex Reid (Jordan’s steroid-pumped dildo) took on fighter Jack Mason, 28, said: “There was a seriously charged atmosphere all night. Everyone there was spoiling for a fight.” “Suddenly when Reid’s fight card was announced a fight started by the bar.

“About 70 to 100 people were laying into each other. “The door staff and security steamed in and managed to break it up. “But during the fight one bloke got thrown down a flight of stairs.”

As it turns out that man ended up with a massive head injury and was transported to the hospital in critical condition…but that did not spoil Jordan’s mood for losing her clothes. When her boyfriend won the fight, she stripped infront of everyone and put on a new mini-dress with the words The Champ plastered across her plastic bunnies. She then proceeded to get in the cage with him and give the fingers (yes, both) to everyone booing them…thank you Alex Reid for bringing out the best in her…fingers crossed she never gets back with Peter Andre.

Ok, before you rush to your kitchen cabinet to grab a sharp instrument and attempt to stab yourself on the leg to see if you feel any kind of pain or emotion that would make it seem you have some sort of empathy for Jordan and her “ordeals”, calm yourselves down and think rationally: this is a woman who holds the world record in “yes i am completely aware and loving it” bare crotch sightings and who wouldn’t think twice about mating with a horse and then marrying it if OK! Magazine promised to cover the nuptials and give her a million bucks for the exclusive photos.

To explain, Jordan is now pleasing (sorry, dating), cagefighter/porn star Alex Reid (who used to live with his mom before Jordan decided his pecks were good enough to rub her fakers on) and he is accused of starring in a porn movie called “Killer Bitch” in which a disabled woman gets raped and then murdered . Jordan rushed to her boytoy’s defense by saying she would never be with him if he had filmed such graphic scenes.

And to make her point of why she draws the line at rapists when it comes to dating crystal clear, she explained she was raped twice when she was younger, once when she was six at an old park and a second time when she was 13 and launching her “modelling career” with a photographer that tried to get her to take a picture in a wet t-shirt.

Guess who was shocked the most to hear about these revelations? Her own soon to be ex-husband of four years. Peter Andre apparently had no idea of these rapes and Jordan never once shared them with him.

Days later, Jordan and her boyfriend were assaulted in an extreme cagefighting event they were attending. Alas, Jordan only managed to get herself a black eye. We were hoping the cagefighters would get her in the cage, throw away the key and knock her money knockers unconscious…