It’s official, Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper are now an item, which makes me very happy only because I get to call them something completely stupid like Bradnifer Coopez, and update my Bradley Cooper jokes by replacing the words sour lemons with chili con carne and salsa (i would have gone with enchiladas but didn’t want to be called a racist). Meanwhile, TMZ reports that the two are “casually dating” and not calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Great. So Bradley Cooper just wanted the sampler for the “Older And Less Attractive Lady With Midlife Crisis” on the menu. “Hmm, this tiny burrito is certainly delicious. Can i stick my penis in it? And no thanks, i won’t be taking the leftovers home, I’m full.”
PS: Bradnifer has her hands in her face because apparently that’s the latest hand signal for “Over here, TMZ. Awesome and timely response you guys!”
TMZ reports that Jennifer Lopez and Bradley Cooper had a “romantic” dinner in NYC last night, at Per Se, a restaurant on Columbus circle which means he probably had her gigantic ass for dessert. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. It’s only been 5 months since he broke up with possibly the only woman in Hollywood who laughs and lemons start squirting out of her ass (Renee Zellweger for those living under a rock), and he’s already reportedly dated Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Wilde and Charlize Theron. Come on, he’s not that good-looking, what’s the catch here? Oh, wait, JLo used to be married to a tree branch, so this is a definite upgrade. It all makes sense now.
