The 17-page S&M spread of Bruce Willis and wife Emma Hemming for the July issue of W Magazine (out June 23) was very enlightning. We learnt that the wife has great boobs, she does most of the spanking and whipping in the household and at the age of 54 Bruce Willis is, er, willing to put his pride aside and get photographed looking like an ass-whipped primate in the Planet of the Apes. Apparently, meeting Emma and engaging in some good old fashioned S&M has gotten Bruce out of the dark place he’s been for the last decade…and shown him the sunny side of life??
This is what he told the magazine on his relationship:
“I went from ‘F— love’ to ‘Love is truly the answer.’ I spent the last 10 years single and, for the most part, unhappy. In a dark place. I never thought that being with someone else was the answer. I would say, ‘I’m alone, but I’m not lonely.’ But I was just kidding myself. Then I started hanging around Emma, and on a day-to-day basis my life became much happier.”
“I hear so many people in relationships say, ‘I just need a couple of days away, or even an hour away.’ But I don’t want to be away from Emma at all. It’s the most singular relationship I’ve ever had in my life.”
Life&Style has just revealed that Bruce Willis and his 35-year old model wife Emma are expecting a child which is probably not good news for that kid considering Bruce is in the habit of bestowing his offsprings with huge chins. While we couldn’t be happier for him, let’s keep in mind that he’s 56-years old, which means he’ll be a walking corpse by the time this one graduates high-school. “Hey dad, are you coming to my graduation today?” “My damn prostate is leaking again, but sure son, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Oh crap! My colostomy bag just burst…Kaaaaaaatte!!!”
