He needs to stay in Vegas… because when the cat is away… the cat gets beaten to bits by a no named rapper who posts pictures on blogs of the incident.
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Archive for the "Coco" Category
Coco Austin Rings In The New Year With Ice T.
Nothing says “we’re still together” like hitting up a fancy New Year’s Eve Party (this one was at LAX Nightclub in Las Vegas) as a couple, right? Yeah, I’m still not sure. Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin and her husband, Ice T, may look like a happy couple but I have to wonder how much of it is an act for the cameras. Beyond the photos of Coco loving all up on another guy, there are rumors now that Coco may have gone beyond just posing for photos that embarrassed not only her husband, but herself as well. Did she cheat on Ice T? I have no idea but I hope not. I really like Ice T and he really seems to care about her. Of course, as we all know, things aren’t always as they appear, especially in Hollywood relationships. I guess only time will tell. Even so, it looks like Coco’s having a great time and she’s showing off her body as usual so I guess that’s enough to keep people happy.
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Coco Austin Peepshow Pics
There are few people out there I actively dislike. Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin is one of them. A big part of the reason I dislike her? I really like her husband, Ice T and I think it’s absolutely gross that she not only seems to have cheated on him (not completely confirmed) but that she was so open about it. That’s just not cool, Coco. I guess we don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors but if it is what it looks like, any respect I had for Coco (not much) is gone. With all that said, these pictures of Coco with the ‘Peepshow’ stage show in Vegas are pretty hot. I’ve never been a big fan of Coco’s cartoonishly disproportionate body but it really works for a show like “Peepshow”. Do I like her? No, but I have to give her credit for looking smoking hot in these photos.
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Nicole Coco Austin flashes her bald vag, proving she’s just as classy as ever.
There is no way anyone will ever be able to convince me Nicole Coco Austin did not intentionally flash her bald vagina to the photographers that snapped these pictures. When I think of desperate women who will do anything to stay relevant, Nicole tops my list. She’s hot, sure, but she’s so sleazy I can’t enjoy her hotness. I mean, come on, at least pretend it was an accident. It’s cool to be proud of your body but this isn’t pride in your body. This is obvious insecurity. It’s almost like she’s afraid she’ll cease to exist if the cameras stop flashing. It doesn’t matter though. Men love her and will continue to love her as long as she continue to have not even a trace of modesty. Baring it all for Playboy is one thing. I have no problem with a woman taking her clothes off for the camera but flashing your vagina on the street corner? In my always humble opinion, that’s just one step away from being a prostitute.
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Nicole Coco Austin predictably flashes some skin in Las Vegas
I know there are a whole lot of people out there who love Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin so I’m going to do my best not to say anything too negative about her but it will be difficult. It isn’t that I don’t like her. She’s clearly attractive and she’s clearly confident but I would like to, just once, see her covering up a bit more. I guess that’s her thing though. “Hi! I’m Coco and I’m almost naked! Again!” I guess everyone has to have their shtick. The problem with her shtick, however, is that we’ve seen it all before. Here at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas Nicole is posing in a bikini by the pool. Normally that would be kind of alluring but it looses a little something when we’ve seen all that and more from Nicole before. Want to really shock us, Nicole? Wear something that covers you up. With curves like yours, you’d still look sexy but it would be surprising. Those are pictures I’d really like to see.
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Coco Actually Looks Hot… For Once!!!
Most of the time, when you see Nicole ‘Coco’ Austin, 32, in a picture, she’s all decked out in ass and shimmery lip gloss. But, to spark some buzz for the second season of her and hubby Ice-T’s hit E! reality show Ice Loves Coco, she demanded that InTouch mag not touch up or photoshop her AT ALL!!!
And, let’s be honest here, that’s rare– well, that never happens. Even the sexiest, skinniest, prettiest models are airbrushed from here to kingdom-come, making them look like perfect little Barbie dolls. So, in all honesty, this is a bold move — especially for a big girl. But, you know what? It paid off!
Coco, ditching the big hair and make up made of cake icing, donned a bright pink bikini, showing her curves to true perfection. When asked why she did it, she said, ‘This is the biggest I’ve ever been. But I’m still confident, because I’m happy inside, and I have a husband who tells me I’m beautiful all the time.’ Well, good, because big girls are beautiful, and this is one instance where Coco actually looks beautiful… which is shocking. Coco is not known for her fashion sense, but for her ass and ti– well, you know.
But, the point is, this is how women should always be portrayed in magazines — without a single touch up. Hopefully the positive media buzz from this stunt will prod more mags and ads to do the same, thereby ceasing to make the female youth of this country feel inadequate and just plain ugly. Hey… it’s the truth.
The BOOTY Edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly — Over Twenty of the Best, Worst, and Fugliest Celebrity Butts of the Last Decade!!!
Welcome to the BOOTY edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly — The Best, Worst, and Fugliest Butts of the Last Decade!!! Oh, do I have a treat in store for you today! Going back the last decade or so, I have collected pics of the nicest asses, the worst booties, and the fucking ugliest butts I could find — all from celebrities, of course! So, without further ado, (because I know you’re as excited as I am) let’s get to the booties!!! The Good — Kate Upton definitely gets my vote for a ‘Good Ass of the Decade!’ She is stunning; it’s as simple as that! Nikki Grahame is GOOD and pissed off here! I know nothing of the surrounding circumstances of the Big Brother cast member’s exposure — but, hey! — she’s got a good bum! Though I have absolutely no clue who this chick Jordan is (probably some damn reality show bitch) and though her face is ugly and plastic, I’ve gotta give it to her — she’s got one lush derrière! Nicole Scherzinger, even though I sometimes cannot stand your BS on the X Factor, you’ve got one scrumptious arse! Painted or not… OMG — Brooklyn Decker’s rump is one that is totally biteable in my opinion! Get it girl, and eat some collard greens! I had to do it! Brad Pitt totally deserves a spot on the Yummiest Butts of the Decade list… and boy is it a yummy one, indeed… Alicia Duval… you’re bum is totally fan-fucking-tastic! The accidental yummy butt shots are always the best, aren’t they? The Bad Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace. Girl, your butt is atrocious!!! Period, point-blank! If you can sport some fur, then you can go get a butt job! Wow. For you to have picked that wedgie in public like that, Victoria Silvstedt, it must have been a monster!! Normally, even though she’s plastic as hell, she still rocks it. And even though she’s bangin from the front… girl’s havin’ issues in the back. Pete Wentz, I like your hair, dude, but I’m not diggin’ the boxers-out look. Um, no! Can you believe this is Katherine Heigl’s ass? I couldn’t… Sad, just sad… Wow… Helen Hunt. Another shockingly grotesque backside. Jennifer Love-Hewitt. I don’t have much to say about this one. Heartbreaking, simply heartbreaking… Can you believe this is Britney Spear’s booty??? I couldn’t. Question, though: Where in the hell was she that she got a [...]
The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly — The Cleavage Edition!!!
Yeah, I had to do it… Might as well! I’m sure this may upset a couple of you but… I must speak the truth!!! These pics are based on the most recent I could find, not necessarily the best of all time… just so you know. Now, let’s get to the boobage! The Good — The cleavage Good has got to go to Sophie Reade. If you don’t know who she is, she is the UK’s 2009 Big Brother Winner and is now a British Glamour model. Some of you may disagree here, but I’ve got to give it to Sophie! Yes, they’re fake, but you know what? They look soft and that’s all that matters to me! The Bad — The cleavage bad goes to The Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Mellisa Gorga. Why? Because she looks absolutely BLAH! in this swimsuit! It’s not that she doesn’t have a decent sized chest. Flatchested women can rock some cleavage… if they can find it. But, this is about the fact that those tassle things make her boobs look saggy and gross… The Fugly — And… I’m guessing I’m going to tick a good portion of you off right here, but let’s be honest, okay? Coco’s boobs look harder than cement! This bitch is not a brick house… she’d be more like a brick WALL! Why would any man want a woman with boobs harder than his are?! That’s just disgusting! And I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: I like thick girls! What I don’t like are girls with boobs that put my eye out. So, Coco, you get the Cleavage Fugly! Instead of ‘Cover that shit up!’ like I normally end this post with, let’s try this one: Take that shit out!!!
CoCo Austin has giant boobs
I get why people are so in lust with CoCo. She has giant boobs, a giant ass and she doesn’t mind showing either of those things off. At the same time, I can also see why people don’t like her. I happen to be one of those people. CoCo just seems to be so incredibly into herself. Her entire life seems to be a photo op. I guess that’s not really all that unusual. Look at almost any of the reality television celebrities and you’ll see the same thing. I guess my problem with CoCo is that she seems to over exaggerate. I love big boobs as much as the next girl (all girls like to look at big boobs, right) but CoCo’s are just a little too big. Her ass is a little too round. She looks like someone’s over inflated everything. It just doesn’t look natural to me, but whatever. People like here so here are some pictures of her half naked on the beach. Enjoy!
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Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (11.14.2011)
Jennifer Nicole Lee rollerblading in Miami in a bikini and a ton of make-up and I think all women should wear this attire when engaging in sports. I’m pretty sure it enhances performance and saves you from all kinds of injuries. It’s been scientifically proven.
Lindsay Lohan puffed her lips with helium again. Gotta maintain her breadwinner in top shape, doesn’t she.
Coco’s breasts hosted another classy event in Atlantic City.
16-year old Kendall Kardashian appropriately dressed in a see-through top and braless at InStyle Awards. Good thing she brought Chewbacca as her bodyguard.
Mila Jovovich on the set of the new Resident Evil. Her outfit just told me the storyline will be amazing.
Tuesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (11.08.2011)
Someone told me JLo and Jennifer Aniston engaged in some sort of battle of the slits and thighs at Glamour’s Women Of The Year Awards but I was too mesmerized by Donatella Versace’s corpse-like beauty to notice.
Iggy Pop is the new face of Paco Rabanne perfume…which I’m assuming smells like unwashed hair and soiled underwear? This brand just committed suicide, didn’t it.
Kim Kardashian pictured arriving at LAX without make-up. She’s really, really hurting, you guys!
Christina Aguilera revisits her Disney days…and somehow makes Minnie look quite appealing. I have a thing for skinny chicks.
Coco goes shopping for clothes. Just trying to imagine the salesperson’s face when she asks for pants in size DDD.
George Clooney takes Stacy Keibler to Los Cabos for the second time in a month! “Good morning, George. I hate marriage.” “I’m booking us another vacation as we speak!”
Nicole Richie and her cleavage accepting the award for Style Influencer Of The Year. That tip on how to wear a scarf AND earrings at the same time had a profound effect on my life.
And now the Obamas taking drastic measures to resurrect the economy.
Coco got into a bikini again
This time at Miami Beach…which explains why there was a report over the weekend that the sand dunes on that very beach all but disappeared…nice one environmentalists blaming it all on the climate change.
Wednesday’s Miscalleneous Junk You Might Like (11.02.2011)
“Y’all want me to show you how to break a neck with my thighs? Dang, i just sharted on Joe Jonas!”
Kris Humphries licking his post-divorce wounds by hosting a late-night party in Vegas, er, I’m guessing topless?
Demi Moore and Melanie Griffith need to get together and share a potato chip because they’re getting too scary to look at.
Gerard Butler has also lost a lot of weight. Must be the strictly no-vagina-for-a-month diet.
At least Coco and her braless ta-tas know how to eat. It’s more or less a 12-plate affair.
Who wants to see Sofia Vergara bend down to pick g-strings?
Heidi Klum gave her second costume ape nipples. And forced Seal to dress up like a monkey. Let me remind you, she’s a blue-eyed German and he’s black. Mel Gibson says he wants to bed her.
Miranda Kerr knows how to walk the streets of Manhattan.
Blake Lively getting carried around by shoe maker Louboutin.
David Hasselhoff wants to make a quick stop for a burger with onion rings.
And a couple of Angels spraying perfume in heaven.
Coco’s ass hosted a Halloween party
Here’s Coco dressed as a giant ass imprisoned in fishnets and unable to attain freedom in the form of assaulting a pasta buffet hosting a Halloween party at LAX in Las Vegas and we gave this its own post for the mere reason that trying to fit it into our Halloween post would require a lot of butter. And goose lard. Definitely goose lard.
Coco’s boob falls out during Fall Fashion Week
Coco was one of Richie Rich’s “celebrity” guests at his fashion show the other day and like her predecessor Pamela Anderson, one of her body parts escaped from the thin veil of modesty we call clothes. But unlike Pammie, this one didn’t even make it to the actual catwalk before her dress was down to her waist. All very predictable really if you think that the girl has a reality show to promote. The bigger question was, what was Kirstie Allie doing sitting in the front row of the show since we all know hell will freeze before she can fit in those clothes. “Ms. Allie, you’re sitting in A2. What’s that? No, i’m pretty sure it’s not allowed to eat the male models at the end of the show.”
Ice-T and Coco Reveal That They are Both Sexual Demons
You really know an interview is going well when it involves the phrase “sex circus.” Well that’s what came up when Vibe Magazine decided to ask Ice-T and Coco: “How can I have a marriage that comes with a sex circus of a love life?” The answer:
Ice T: Marry somebody that turns you the fuck on.
Coco: Don’t think that you’re going to turn them into some sexual demon when you get married. They have to already be the sexual demon beforehand.
Ice T: But wait for your ultimate sexual partner, try that one. That’s a good start. If you start with that and keep that alive, hopefully the person isn’t an idiot and shit doesn’t go wrong. One of the things that help messes up a sex life is just basic stress in the relationship though. If you have a stressful relationship there‘s not going to be sex.
Coco: Trying things out. And you don’t have to do it a second time. You just try it once to see if you two connect on that same level.
Sane advice, which is sort of disappointing. I was hoping for impossibly filthy tales of physics-defying depravity. I mean, Coco’s physical presence is, in and of itself, a filthy tale of physics-defying depravity. Wouldn’t it be sort of awesome if these two actually had a really boring love life? Silent, awkward missionary-style sex, eyes politely averted.
Coco Wants You to Look at Her Juicy Tits and Nipples
Understandibly there’s a great deal of (totally justified) talk about Coco Austin’s ass, we’d all be remiss if we didn’t pay attention to her front side as well. And to make sure we don’t forget that, Coco posted this lovely picture via her Twitter for last week’s Titty Tuesday.
Granted, it’s not a topless shot, but it’s so close to being one, that we don’t really care. Though it does present us with an interesting challenge… how are we supposed to decide whether we’d rather be staring at Coco’s tits or ass? Oh, who cares, as long as we’re staring at Coco, we’re perfectly content.
Look What Coco is Wearing Now
Coco, the love child of Anna Nicole Smith and the Hulk, is starting the new year by doing what she knows best, tweeting ridiculous pictures of her ridiculous body. Her first tweetpic was of herself in a purple net catsuit (seen above), showing off those big ol’ titties she is so “famous” for.
“Got home tied my hair up, got in a catsuit. I can’t show u the whole outfit cuz u can’t see it before Ice”.
Later, presumably after showing Ice, she got back on Twitter and revealed the rear view (photo below), showing off that ass that Ice-T recently praised publicly.
“The back of my catsuit.. I call this my comfy clothes. I wear this around the house to clean in”.
Clearly this woman is the living embodiment of class and refinement. Surely, she is the Grace Kelly of our times. Now my question is, when she is on a cruise ship, does she get a waiver and not have to do the life jacket drill? Because really, what would be the point, not like she can drown. She’s practically half human – half rubber duckie.
Ice-T Really Wants You to Know That He is Hittin’ That Thing
Rapper Ice-T had something to say on New Years Eve about his wife Coco and how me and you could never bang his wife, He-Ass, master of the crackuverse. Who by the way seems strangely over-dressed, compared to the photos we normally see of Coco.
According to PopEater:
At the New Year’s Eve party the rapper-turned-actor hosted in New York City with his longtime friend, club owner and producer Noel Ashman, he took the stage and professed his love to his voluptuous wife, Coco.
“I love Coco,” he told the huge crowd at Nuela. “It’s our anniversary tonight.”
“Look at Coco!” he said, pointing out his wife, who wore a form-fitting red gown with a plunging neckline. “Look at that ass! You can’t get that unless you are Ice-T!”
Does he mean Coco’s ass, or herpes?
Ice-T, I don’t think men are attracted to your wife’s ass so much as pulled in by its gravitational force. Then only to have their stuff burned up upon entry into her assmosphere.
To be fair on Ice-T, when people have asses this big the turds must be a phenomenal sight to behold. I can see why the man is proud. I bet she uses a whole roll of TP and a box of baby wipes every time. God I hope so anyway.
The Top Coco Twitpics of 2010
No one quite takes Twitpics like Coco, NO ONE I SAY. I seriously couldn’t point out some of my family members in a line-up, but just a peek of Coco’s twin moon rising makes me hit my buzzer in the blink of an eye. Coco wants to keep it that way, which is why she loves to give her twitter followers daily ass updates in the form of pictures. These are some of the best (and worst I guess) from 2010… Enjoy.
Oh and apparently most of these pictures have a dog in them. I didn’t find it.
Coco is a Camel Toe Extraordinaire
What is a camel toe, you ask? If you’re really the tard who doesn’t know, a cameltoe is normally a very aesthetically pleasing phenomenon, whereby a woman’s Venus mound is clearly discernable under the snug fabric of her lower garment. Typically, the fuller the labia, the more pleasing the effect. Now that everyone is on the same page, let’s take a look at some of Coco’s very common vaginal wedgie moments, since she wears nothing but 100% pure spandex it seems.
Personally I’m damn sick and tired of seeing her full on camel toes in every picture, and her nasty silicone-laden ass, too. Cover that shit up, woman. We’ve all seen WAAAAAY too much of that *ahem* less-than-prime real estate…
And speaking of silicone, it’s time to get those fake tits an upgrade. If you’re gonna walk around with them flapping in the breeze 24/7 then you need to take care of the lumpy, misshapen ridges you’ve got sticking out everywhere. And please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t whip out another one of your ugly scarred nipples anyplace where someone is going to take a picture of it.
p.s. I’d still hit it, hit it real good.
Just One Pic: The Coco Stretch
Coco tweeted this awe-inspiring pic of herself, stretching the hell out of her thonged butts. The caption reads,
Thong Thursday!I thought this was appropriate for today! I don’t think my bikini can get any smaller.LOL
Maybe there are chances of her bikini actually getting smaller by the next Thursday, but how did she do that?! And how on earth did I miss this amazing pic? I’m late by four full days. My apologies for the delay.
Coco is Still Tweeting Pictures of Her Mountain of an Ass
If you follow Coco on twitter you’ll be getting about 50 ass pictures an hour into your feed, and here is just one of yesterday’s which we found very interesting, because it actually looks like she has a huge erect phallus (that’s clever science guy speak for dick) on her back, leading down to her butt which serves as the testicles. From that angle, with that thong, we’re guessing that those photographers can guess what Coco had for dinner last night. Unless that is the point, this could very well just be some artsy colon exam.
It’s actually starting to look like Coco’s ass eats thongs, every time we see a picture of her that gigantic ass is sucking them right up. Speaking of eating, I suddenly have the urge to make honey-glazed chicken breasts for dinner tonight, not sure why.
Anyways this is what Coco tweeted:
Thong Thursday! I thought this was appropriate for today! I don’t think my bikini can get any smaller. LOL http://plixi.com/p/56318226
Thong Thursday eh? Guess the rest of Coco’s weekly calendar looks something like this:
Frilly Friday
Shorts Saturday
See Through Sunday
Macrame Monday
Tighty White-y Tuesday
Waspy Wednesday
Shorts Saturday
See Through Sunday
Macrame Monday
Tighty White-y Tuesday
Waspy Wednesday
Picture Gallery: Celebrity Halloween Costume 2010
I wait impatiently for 365 days just to embrace this special day with all my heart because Halloween never fades away without giving us some hot and weird moments. Some are hot and some are weird, but each celebrity babe is a sparkling gem when it comes to showing off their Halloween costumes. Though Heidi Klum is (and will always remain) my all-time favorite, I feel the other babes in the gallery deserve some attention too. Check out the babes in their Halloween costumes after the jump.
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Halloween Sluts: Coco the Nurse
Here is another Sluttoween serving, this time of Ice-T as Dr. Frankenstein and Cooo as a sexy nurse The Frankentits Monster at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party last night. She probably got that outfit at the junior department and thought to squeeze her gigantic ass and big ol’ tits into it. I hope Ice-T wears a helmet when she unleashes those things from their prison cell of clothing.
Coco sizzles in a thong bikini
If anyone deserves to be crowned the undisputed Bikini Babe, it’s Coco! I won’t speak a word because this sizzling picture gallery is more than enough to justify my claim that she has an awesome body coupled with the right attitude. And I’m not even highlighting her amazing a$s! So just hit the jump and enjoy some hot bikini action. Thanks a ton, Coco!
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No Bikini Can Contain Coco
Coco was seen strutting her planet sized humps and lumps in Miami today as she went to the beach in a bikini that I’m sure had a heart attack when it saw the mountains it was supposed to cover.
Gotta say though, Coco is losing that spark she used to have, and by that I mean her ass is finally succumbing to gravity. Just imagine the size of the worms in that ass!
Next time you go to the beach Coco, either actually wear some proper swim-wear or just go naked since clearly you might as well have.
Just One Pic: Coco tweets her thonged butt
Coco (Nicole Austin) proved once again that she’s the baddest girl on Twitter by posting this pic of her thonged butt. Interestingly, this time her sister Kristy decided to join her and double the fun. The caption reads,
Surprise”Thong Thursday”Pic w/my sister @angelbabynaz I’m a bad influence.I’m on left she’s on right.
Now, do we really need Coco to tell us which a$$ was hers? No doubt her sister is a gifted woman too, but Coco’s enormous a$$ is unmatchable!
Coco Shows Off Her Ass Cleavage
Coco walked the runway for Sachika Twins S/S 2011 Fashion Show in New York today, showing off both of her gigantic cleavages.
At first I thought she was wearing a G-string, but upon further inspection I noticed that it’s actually just where the flat of her pelvic bone meets two mountains of poundatious ass flesh. And that jawline, holy crap, talk about being in touch with your inner Zoolander. Ray Lewis looks more feminine in comparison.
CoCo
Nicole Natalie Austin, (born March 17, 1979) commonly known as Coco Marie, Coco-T, and Coco is an American actress, dancer, glamour model and web personality. She is married to musician/actor Ice-T. At 18, Coco began specializing in swimsuit, lingerie and body modeling. She entered in swimsuit competitions and modeled for calendars, catalogs and videos. At 18, she won the 1998 Miss Ujena contest in Mexico. In 2001, Coco worked for Playboy for six months, working their events and parties at the Playboy Mansion.
Ice-T and Coco use Halloween as an excuse to have sex outdoors
Here’s Ice-T and Coco at the M2 Ultra Lounge on Saturday showing us why when married to a woman whose ass is the size of Switzerland, safety comes first…in this case, using a mouth piece to bite on when Coco’s ass drains the blood out of Ice-T’s penis is essential to prevent chewing and then swallowing your own tongue. And by the way, wearing clothes that you put on every night before you hit your leotard sheets do not qualify for Halloween costumes.
And because Halloween brings out the freaky in everyone, here’s Rihanna and Coco going boob to boob. Anyone wishing they were the pickle in this bizarre sandwich, just make sure you come equipped with your oxygen tank. Coco’s boobs are particularly hazardous.
