Archive for the "Colin Farrell" Category

Rihanna Wants to Bang Colin Farrell

Come at me bro

Rihanna has been sexting Colin Farrell. Apparently after the duo met on a British TV show they have been exchanging “flirty messages” ever since.

The Sun says:

If there’s one woman you wouldn’t mind pestering you, the Bajan stunner has to top the list.
They met on GRAHAM NORTON’s chat show before Christmas, swapped numbers afterwards and the Irish Rover has been receiving lots of flirty messages.
A source said:
“Colin was taken aback by some of the texts. He reckons he might well be in there. They’re both single, so why not?”
Colin and Rihanna have made plans to meet up in LA when their hectic schedules allow.

I take it “might well be in there” is some sort of Irish slang for being in with a chance to get all up inside one’s vagina. On the day they met, Colin discussed Rihanna’s “very nice limbs” and how he needed “to get them off my mind” before BBC anchor Graham Norton’s live studio audience. RiRi responded by talking about getting her legs waxed, “leaving Colin wide-eyed with excitement.” So Colin is a wax-fetishizing sadist, and Rihanna’s song “S&M” was actually foreshadowing?

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Angelina Jolie is an Uncontrollable Sexbot

angelina_jolie_sexbot

Angelina Jolie and her lips have been destroying relationships since she hit puberty. It’s almost as if an evil genius scientist created Jolie in order to break up marriages and single-handedly increase the divorce rate. A recent article in The Daily Mail outlined Jolie’s sexual past, triggered by the release of a book that reveals Jolie’s tumultuous affairs with pretty much everyone in Hollywood. Even Mick Jagger, who is 32 years her elder:

Mick Jagger had an affair with Angelina Jolie whilst he was still married to Jerry Hall, a new book has sensationally claimed.

It is alleged the pair first had a brief fling after she starred in the video for the Rolling Stones’ 1997 song Anybody Seen My Baby?, while she was still married to British actor Jonny Lee Miller.

And it is claimed they enjoyed a second affair six years later in 2003, while the womanising rocker was with his latest lover L’Wren Scott.

The book is called “Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: The True Story” and it was written by the US biographer Jenny Paul. Jenny spent probably way too much time investigating the hunting habits of Angelina Jolie’s pussy; she has even been rumored to get her information from Jolie’s friend Texas Terri and an ex-boyfriend of her mother, Bill Day.

Fun sex trivia in the book includes little nuggets like Angelina started sleeping with Colin Farrell four months after being on set with him in the movie “Alexander.”  But that is much less controversial compared to how her relationship with Brad “we’re going to have 13 kids” Pitt began.

In a string of other allegations, Paul also claims that Angelina was sleeping with Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes and ex-husband Miller when she met Brad Pitt in 2004.

The new book also outlines an account of how Angelina Jolie and her current partner Brad Pitt got together. When they first met, he was still married to Friends star Jennifer Aniston.

‘Brad told Angelina just weeks into filming Mr & Mrs Smith that his marriage to Jen was over in every way apart from on paper and had been for more than a year,’ says Paul.

According to the book, Brad told Angelina that he and Jen were just good friends and were waiting for the right time to officially end their marriage.

Angelina Jolie’s crotch is kind of like a man-eating tiger. It gets to have its meals when it wants and from whomever it wants. Even if Brad Pitt was married to a ridiculously hot actress, Jolie had the power to strip him away from the marriage and eat him alive.

It’s understandable that Johnny Depp’s wife, Vanessa Paradis, is concerned about Depp’s role in the new movie, “The Tourist.” There is supposedly a very steamy sex scene between Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp in the movie – and Paradis asked Johnny to quit the film after catching wind of it. After all, Johnny Depp is the attractive kind of weirdo that might cause Jolie’s nether-regions to sniff the air and label him as its next target.

Hopefully Jolie will stay satisfied with Brad and her legion of kids… or else Mr. Depp will have to start guarding his loins with lock and key.