Archive for the "Donatella Versace" Category

Miranda Kerr’s ass and nothing else…we want to hear you clapping

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We know we’ve failed you in the past, especially by posting things like Donatella Versace’s beach corpse without the coroner’s permission, but hopefully this ass spread will resurrect your faith in humanity and squash those pesky rumors that we’re into necrophilia. Just know that it’s us pulling some strings in Washington that helped get out a mandate for all photographers to shoot ass and nothing but ass when it came to Miranda Kerr. As a matter of fact, the art czar is calling the Metropolitan right now and arranging for these to be put next to the Egyptian Pyramids exhibit. This is art, people!!!

 

Donatella Versace topless is like a virus that causes penis sepsis

Donatella Versace Relaxing Topless On The Beach In St Barts (USA

We know, we know…you’re afraid to look in case you never get an erection again, but you’re inexplicably drawn to this images, kinda like when your momma told you not to look up at the sun with a naked eye because you could burn your retina, but you did it anyway. So here’s Donatella Versace looking like she went on an expedition to the sun’s core and returned looking like Golum’s soulmate. What surprises us is that there wasn’t a bunch of CSI guys on the beach cordoning off the scene and picking up traces to solve the mystery of the topless rotisserie corpse. Coppertone anyone??

 

Lindsay Lohan’s slutty Muse photo shoot comes with a video;because the pictures didn’t gross us out enough

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Since no one is hiring Lindsay Lohan in an actual movie these days, she assumed it would be a great idea to give more life to her “artistic” rendition of Johny Depp’s and Kate Moss’s relationship by starring in an erotic 2-minute clip. The only problem is that after watching what seemed more like Donatella Versace chain smoking while her loose labia attacked a skinny effeminate dude we got the urge to start crusading against smoking and stop every hooker and homeless bum we find and give them a mole check on the spot. Those liver spots are going to haunt us for ever…oh, and Kate Moss is suing.



 

Lindsay’s Night At The Museum Part II:The Nipple Slip

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Sorry for the second post, but it was impossible to cover Lindsay Lohan’s trifecta of Horrors at the Whitney Museum Art Gala on Monday Night in just one. As if looking like Donatella Versace’s twin and stumbling around in a semi-comatose state wasn’t enough, her dress also played traitor and let a nipple run loose…mind you, the nipple must also have been drunk because it remained largely unaffected by the cold wind…ah, the warm embrace of the booze…works so much better than a fake pink fur.

 

Lindsay Lohan pulls drunk stunt as Donatella Versace’s double

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Hi Lo can LiLo go? Apparently not low enough. Here she is hammered at the Whitney Museum Of Art Gala on Monday night holding on to Donatella Versace and barely able to keep her eyes open. And don’t you tell us this isn’t like some sort of time machine that allowed us to catch a glimpse into what Lindsay will turn into in, er, say, a year from now. They both have the same uncontrolled fish lips that move in weird directions and don’t respond well to verbal commands and the same wrinkly, papery skin that makes you want to put them out in direct sunlight so you can see them turning to ashes like that poor vampire girl in Interview With A Vampire.

Lindsay had to hold on to the rails as she was exiting the museum and a few times her trout pout flirted with the pavement as she stumbled her way to her car.

In related news, The Sun is reporting that Lindsay is taking out a restraining order against daddy since he threatened to “kidnap her”. Which you know she knows he knows he didn’t mean to because all he wanted was 5 minutes under the warm wings of Maury…but ofcourse she had to get back for the “empty shell of a fungus” comments…that and those pesky rumours he’s been spreading about her being hooked on prescription drugs…which is all lies ofcourse…and wasn’t Donatella Versace almost having to give trout pout to trout pout the other night solid proof of that?

 

Someone call Donatella Versace;Tara Reid stole her body

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Poor Tara Reid. You’re such an easy target, but when you’re only 33 and your body looks like dinner leftovers because your heart is pumping Petron into your veins instead of blood, what do you expect us to do? Watch the car crash and not call 911? Seriously, the prospects of her looking like the twin sister of Donatella Versace when she hits 40 are very good…unless by then they perfect the body transplant technique…then she’ll be all good to go.

Enjoy more pictures of her getting wasted in Cannes.