Archive for the "dropped" Category

Louis Vuitton comes to its senses, stops using Madonna’s ancient crotch to sell expensive bags

LV Madonna

Giant fashion house Louis Vuitton has dropped Madonna as the face of their campaign and has replaced her with a model whose crotch is barely out of the showroom and has thousands of driving miles on it. Madonna’s wagon (they didn’t have automobiles when she was born so can’t compare her cootchie to something with an actual machine) is being replaced by 25-year old supermodel Lara Stone, who people say looks like a young Brigitte Bardot.

And to make matters worse, Lara was handpicked for the spring/ summer 2010 campaign by Madonna’s good friend, designer Marc Jacobs (who although as gay as they come still recognizes a vampire spreading her legs is more likely to evoke images of dead fish left out for a week than the desire to suddenly open your wallet and waste thousands on a bag).

A Louis Vuitton spokesman said: “After two seasons with such a huge star, Marc decided to take a breather and work with a model – and not just any model.

“It’s the choice of a new supermodel.”

And by breather they meant not having to put vaseline under their nostrils for those formaldehyde-meets corpse in the swamp-moments when Madonna insisted on her vertical ballerina splits.