Archive for the "engaged" Category

Johnny Depp Engaged To Amber Heard

I was sitting on this story until People Magazine confirmed it. They are so celeb PC that they won’t publish most things without an inside source (or PR agent) confirming the story. So, it seems that 50 year old Johnny Depp is “engaged” to 27 year old up and comer Amber Heard. I put engaged [...]

Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger Engaged!

Avril Lavigne is going to try this whole marriage thing one more time. Chad Kroeger (Nickelback) popped the question back on August 8 and Avril said yes. The announcement was quite the surprise, considering they have only been dating a total of six months.

Not surprisingly, Avril and Chad met in the recording studio. Chad was helping Avril with her new album and sparks started to fly, “I knew I was falling for her. It was incredibly powerful and something I’ll never forget.” Chad told Hello! Canada.

Kroeger is 10 years older than Lavigne, but the age gap doesn’t seem to be bothering the newly engaged couple, “He makes me laugh everyday. He takes care of me in every way and is extremely attentive.” Avril said of Chad.

Well, isn’t that just the cutest thing you have heard all day? We wish them all the best and hope they continue to make horrible music together for the rest of their lives! Where would this world be without great songs like, “Photograph” and “Girlfriend” — they are clearly the new powerhouse couple in the music industry.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez? That’s so 2011! Avril and Chad Avril and Chad1


Miley Cyrus Shows All Four Cheeks!

Miley Cyrus went shopping yesterday and showed a little too much skin. Who dresses like that just to go shopping?

She even showed off all four of her cheeks…if you know what we mean. You view the very cheeky pictures by clicking on the following link.

Enjoy! Miley Cyrus Shows All Four Cheeks! Miley Cyrus Shows All Four Cheeks!



Jenelle Evans Tweets Bikini Picture to Prove She Isn’t Fat

Jenelle Evans might be a lot of things, stupid, slutty, mean, bitchy, druggy, bitchy, did I say bitchy? Anyway, Jenelle might be all of those things, but she isn’t fat or pregnant and she wants to make sure you know it.

She tweeted a picture of her wearing a very bright bikini in an attempt to prove once and for all that she is skinny and baby free. If you want to view the picture, then CLICK HERE!

Enjoy! Jenelle Evans Tweets Bikini Picture to Prove She Isn't Fat Jenelle Evans Tweets Bikini Picture to Prove She Isn't Fat


Kristin Cavallari’s Expecting a Baby!!! God Help Us All…

That’s right! Kristin Cavallari and on again, off again boyfriend Jay Cutler — who got engaged, broke it off, and are now engaged again — have announced to People mag that they are expecting their first child! In a statement to the magazine, Kristin and Jay said ‘We are thrilled to announce we are expecting our first child together… It’s an amazing time in our life and we can’t wait to meet the new addition to our growing family.’ WOW!!! The 28 year old Chicago Bears quarterback and the 25 year old former The Hills star got back together this past November. Normally, it is taboo to announce a pregnancy if you are any less than three months along. So, let’s calculate this back, shall we? If she is at least three months along, which — like I said — they normally are, then that would put conception at no earlier than October 22nd. Hmm… I’m sensing a time conflict here. Either they were together sooner than it has been reported, or we may be seeing a celebrity Maury episode in the future… You are NOT the father!!! Sorry… I had to say it…    

COVER YOUR EYES! It’s Steven Tyler Shirtless!

Good lord, man. These pictures are pretty disgusting. I like Steven Tyler, I really do. He seems like a really cool and nice guy, but don’t take your shirt off in public! Why would you do that? I mean those man boobs are something else. He has bigger boobs than most of the top models nowadays. And, what the hell is up with those camouflage underwear? Is your junk going on a hunting trip? I understand that he is 63 years old, so for his age he is probably considered to be in good shape. However, that still doesn’t make it okay for him to be prancing around shirtless, in camouflage underwear! I don’t want to see 63 year old bulge. Perhaps, I am being too hard on him. After all, he did just get engaged to a 38 year old. When I am 63, I’ll probably be dead or too fragile to get out of bed. My wife will be cheating on me with the murse who comes to give me my medicine, and I’ll eventually die a lonely old man. But, all of that is still not as bad as wearing tiny, camouflage underwear. That is just inexcusable, and he really should have received a ticket or something, at least a warning.

Jack Osbourne is engaged to this

Jack Osbourne asked Lisa Stelly, “an aspiring actress and model” to marry him last Thursday and because this site is all about romance and true love, we believed she said “yes” because of his kind heart, large penis and the fact that Ozzy Osbourne probably only has months before he chokes on his own spit and leaves everything to his two brats. Here’s Lisa gushing about the whole thing via her Twitter post:‘The most amazing man I’ve ever met asked me to marry him… and he wasn’t joking! Crazy, right :) .’

Yeah, crazy…Here’s Lisa in a few underwear pics we unearthed, because how else would we introduce a future-bride-to-be? This site has standards after all.
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Eva Amurri’s bachelorette party will probably have midgit strippers too

Eva Amurri, you know, that hot thing that Susan Sarandon gave birth to, is getting married soon to ex major league soccer player Kyle Martino and sensing her days of banging strange men with the same frequency as her mom back in the day when her boobs were not saggy enough to give herself a pedicure and a mammogram at the same time were coming to an end, posted this picture on her website and pretty much invited all friends, stalkers and rapists alike to help her celebrate (why else have an open invitation?). Knowing that she met her soon to be husband on the set of her Maxim photoshoot last December and got engaged to him THE VERY NEXT DAY!!, we have a feeling this marriage will last a very, very long time. Or at the very least as long as it takes the midgit stripper to get over his hangover.

PS: We’re including the Maxim pics to celebrate the occasion.

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Kim Kardashian is Engadged

Kim Kardashian has ever so bravely overcome a nearly two-foot height difference to become engaged to New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries a man destined for a lifetime of cricks in his neck. Kris proposed by “waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: WILL YOU MARRY ME?” Kim’s ring is 20.5 carats (I didn’t know that was physically possible? Won’t her finger get tired?) and worth a reported $2 million.

According to People:

Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
“I didn’t expect this at all,” Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now.”
Humphries popped the question with a custom-designed, 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. “I just knew I wanted it to be big,” says Humphries, 26, who, with the help of Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner, planned an intimate family celebration later that evening.

Looks like Kim worked her way through every Black professional athlete with a full bladder and is now settling for a poor benchwarmer who thinks that just because he hears a lot of talk about K in the locker room must mean that she’s really important…Well, at least Kris now has something in common with most of the NBA… and the NFL and certain parts of the entertainment community. Hope he knows how to aim.

I know it’s old-fashioned of me to say this, but in my heart of hearts, I sincerely wish Kim’s ring gets stolen.


Reese Witherspoon is Also Engaged Now

Christmas time must mean engagement time, since every celebrity and their purse chihuahuas are getting engaged. Reese Witherspoon being the latest to announce she is no longer a single lady… oh and you can add an old co worker of mine to the list; she got engaged Christmas Day… guess people are feeling lovey dovey this season.

Us Weekly has the info on this latest love story:

Reese Witherspoon and Hollywood agent Jim Toth are engaged, her rep confirms “They are extremely happy.”

The Oscar-winning actress, 34, began dating Toth, 40, around January 2010, shortly after her split from Jake Gyllenhaal. The duo went public with their romance in March during a romantic birthday weekend in Ojai, Calif.

Toth works as an agent at L.A.’s Creative Artists Agency; Witherspoon is a CAA client, but Toth doesn’t represent her.

Witherspoon and actor Ryan Phillippe divorced in 2008 after seven years together; the former spouses share daughter Ava, 11, and Deacon, 7. Insiders told Us Weekly that Toth has “bonded” with Witherspoon’s kids. In fact, while Witherspoon shot This Means War in Vancouver last fall, Toth stayed with her little ones at her home in L.A.’s Brentwood area. “Ava and Deacon are happy with him,” the source adds.

Is it just me or does it seem like each new guy is her “rebound guy” from the previous guy? she seems to go from one relationsh­ip to the next with little to no breaks in between…­ that’s not healthy… but hey, if that’s her prerogativ­e.

It does seem weird she would want to get married this often though, I mean most brides only have to worry about tripping over their dress hem. She’s got that chin to be dodgin’, too.

OK, let’s start the pool, how long will it last this time?


Hugh Hefner is Getting Married to Playmate Crystal Harris

HOLY SHIT! We here at The Daily Fix are officially psychic, because we posted some random pictures of Playboy girl Crystal Harris last week and mentioned that she was currently Hugh’s only girlfriend as well as a fan of old wrinkly cocks. Well now as it turns out the old bastard has gotten engaged to her sweet looking ass. Lottery here we come!

NY Daily News reports:

Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner celebrated the holidays with his newest plaything – announcing his engagement to bombshell girlfriend Crystal Harris.

Hefner, 84, said in a Twitter message from the Playboy Mansion in Hollywood that he’d given a ring to Harris, a 24-year-old former Playmate.

Harris, who posed for Playboy in her birthday suit last December, burst into tears at the news that the octogenarian mogul wants to tie the knot, he tweeted.

“This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory,” Hefner wrote.

Hefner later tweeted a second time to let friends and fans know that ring was not simply a Christmas gift for the sexy gal pal.

“Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring,” the mogul wrote. “I didn’t mean to make a mystery out of it. A very merry Christmas to all.”

Right now just to put a sick mental imagine into your heads here is what ex-girlfriend Izabella St. James’ said in her memoir Bunny Tales regarding Hef’s sexual relationship with ex-girlfriend Holly Madison:

At around midnight, Hef would take his Viagra; it was always wrapped in a crumpled Kleenex (although Holly bought him a nice Tiffany pillbox once, he always stuck to his habits).

Hef would lie on his back in the middle of the bed, and as some of us were getting stoned or drinking Dom, he would cover himself in baby oil. Many of the girls he slept with would get yeast infections, which they blamed on the baby oil…Holly would start off the festivities by orally pleasuring Hef until he became erect…when it was confirmed that no one else wanted to “go,” it would be Holly’s turn to assume the position. (That appeared to be the distinguishing mark of the number one Girlfriend—not only was she the only one who had sex with him regularly, but she was the only girl that ever had that particular kind of sex with Hef.) Holly was always quick and full of moans and groans and “oh daddy” shout-outs. After that came to the grand finale: Hef masturbated while watching the porn, and Holly sucked on his nipple.

Need… pictures of kittens…. NOW… must get that image out of my head!

Your a lucky lucky girl Crystal!

Natalie Portman is Pregnant and Engaged

Boo! Natalie Portman will never be mine or your girlfriend, because she got her self knocked up (Maybe with twins? Maybe a boy and a girl? Here come Luke and Leia…) and engaged to ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, who she met while shooting Black Swan. Wait what… since when can humans procreate with millipedes­?

Naa I jest, “Mille pied” actually means “thousand feet” in French, so I kind of get the sense this is a stage name and his real name is like.. Bejamin Fartelheimsburg. If it’s a real name, then it’s an insane coincidence that he’s a dancer. Like someone who’s name is Smith working as a blacksmith. OK I’m getting way off topic, where was I? Ahh yes, Natalie being preggors…

The people over at People have spoken:

Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting their first child, her reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively.

The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman’s performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award.

The actress, 29, will next be seen in the romantic comedy, No Strings Attached, costarring Ashton Kutcher.

This will be the first child for the actress who is due in 2011.

So I guess Natalie wasn’t only letting Mila Kunis munch on her vagina during the filming of Black Swan, but also letting some ballet dude get his willy all up in her thing.

This is really going to mess up her choices for an Oscar Dress. Bjork’s much-maligned dress may get a second chance.

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Nicky Hilton to get married a second time?

nikkidavidPage Six is reporting that Paris Hilton’s sister Nicky is getting ready to walk down the aisle again, this time with her long-term boyfriend, David Katzenberg who is planning a proposal. The two have been dating for 4 years, which is apparently how long it took her boyfriend to come up with the cash for an engagement ring that wouldn’t automatically cause Paris Hilton to fall on the floor in a fit of laughter and subsequently hit them in the face with gamma rays shooting out of her exposed crotch.

And just in case you thought this was the sensitive and more down to earth sister of the two, Nikky forbade him from proposing to her during the Oscars. Because apparently interrupting her from watching Oscar Cojo and his bloated face dreaming of sitting on Tina Fey’s dress with a bag of Cheetos and a can of diet coke was too much to bare. Yeap, these two are definitely headed for wedded-bliss.

Via OK! Magazine:

The socialite-turned-fashion designer has been dating TV producer David Katzenberg since 2006. They became involved two years after her marriage to businessman Todd Andrew Meister was annulled shortly after their Las Vegas wedding.

Hilton dismissed rumours of an engagement to Katzenberg in 2008, but her boyfriend is now said to be preparing to make their union official, according to New York Post gossip column Page Six.

A source tells the newspaper, “Obviously, David would never propose around Oscar time. But now that awards season is over, everyone thinks he’ll ask her soon.”


Someone actually proposed to Tara Reid

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Yes, Tara Reid is engaged, and according to People magazine her boyfriend of one year Michael Axtmann proposed to her while they were having dinner at The Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles on Monday night(”Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, ‘Congratulations.’”).

So since we know the guy got down on one knee, found her hand and put a ring on it, we’re pretty sure he’s not blind (witnesses did not mention a man sticking a diamond ring on a piece of bread stick) and he’s not quadriplegic (blindness and paralysis are requirements for deciding to marry her because we’re pretty sure even with a blind man, the sense of touch alone would have sent him straight to a shrink’s couch for some heavy penis psychotherapy).

Which leaves us only with the theory that the man has never seen Tara Reid without her clothes off and has definitely never had sex with her and can only assume she’s been claiming to have her period for an entire year and offering her Playboy photo shoot for bathroom entertainment every time he asks for it.

Reid, 34, and Axtmann, an Internet entrepreneur, began dating last year. They are planning a small wedding for family and friends by this summer.

Reid, who posed for Playboy’s January/February issue, recently completed production on the comedy Last Call and the psychological thriller The Fields.