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Kristin Cavallari’s Expecting a Baby!!! God Help Us All…
COVER YOUR EYES! It’s Steven Tyler Shirtless!
Jack Osbourne is engaged to this
Jack Osbourne asked Lisa Stelly, “an aspiring actress and model” to marry him last Thursday and because this site is all about romance and true love, we believed she said “yes” because of his kind heart, large penis and the fact that Ozzy Osbourne probably only has months before he chokes on his own spit and leaves everything to his two brats. Here’s Lisa gushing about the whole thing via her Twitter post:‘The most amazing man I’ve ever met asked me to marry him… and he wasn’t joking! Crazy, right 
.’
Eva Amurri’s bachelorette party will probably have midgit strippers too
Eva Amurri, you know, that hot thing that Susan Sarandon gave birth to, is getting married soon to ex major league soccer player Kyle Martino and sensing her days of banging strange men with the same frequency as her mom back in the day when her boobs were not saggy enough to give herself a pedicure and a mammogram at the same time were coming to an end, posted this picture on her website and pretty much invited all friends, stalkers and rapists alike to help her celebrate (why else have an open invitation?). Knowing that she met her soon to be husband on the set of her Maxim photoshoot last December and got engaged to him THE VERY NEXT DAY!!, we have a feeling this marriage will last a very, very long time. Or at the very least as long as it takes the midgit stripper to get over his hangover.
PS: We’re including the Maxim pics to celebrate the occasion.
Kim Kardashian is Engadged
Kim Kardashian has ever so bravely overcome a nearly two-foot height difference to become engaged to New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries a man destined for a lifetime of cricks in his neck. Kris proposed by “waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: WILL YOU MARRY ME?” Kim’s ring is 20.5 carats (I didn’t know that was physically possible? Won’t her finger get tired?) and worth a reported $2 million.
According to People:
Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
“I didn’t expect this at all,” Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now.”
Humphries popped the question with a custom-designed, 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. “I just knew I wanted it to be big,” says Humphries, 26, who, with the help of Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner, planned an intimate family celebration later that evening.
Looks like Kim worked her way through every Black professional athlete with a full bladder and is now settling for a poor benchwarmer who thinks that just because he hears a lot of talk about K in the locker room must mean that she’s really important…Well, at least Kris now has something in common with most of the NBA… and the NFL and certain parts of the entertainment community. Hope he knows how to aim.
I know it’s old-fashioned of me to say this, but in my heart of hearts, I sincerely wish Kim’s ring gets stolen.
Reese Witherspoon is Also Engaged Now
Christmas time must mean engagement time, since every celebrity and their purse chihuahuas are getting engaged. Reese Witherspoon being the latest to announce she is no longer a single lady… oh and you can add an old co worker of mine to the list; she got engaged Christmas Day… guess people are feeling lovey dovey this season.
Us Weekly has the info on this latest love story:
Reese Witherspoon and Hollywood agent Jim Toth are engaged, her rep confirms “They are extremely happy.”
The Oscar-winning actress, 34, began dating Toth, 40, around January 2010, shortly after her split from Jake Gyllenhaal. The duo went public with their romance in March during a romantic birthday weekend in Ojai, Calif.
Toth works as an agent at L.A.’s Creative Artists Agency; Witherspoon is a CAA client, but Toth doesn’t represent her.
Witherspoon and actor Ryan Phillippe divorced in 2008 after seven years together; the former spouses share daughter Ava, 11, and Deacon, 7. Insiders told Us Weekly that Toth has “bonded” with Witherspoon’s kids. In fact, while Witherspoon shot This Means War in Vancouver last fall, Toth stayed with her little ones at her home in L.A.’s Brentwood area. “Ava and Deacon are happy with him,” the source adds.
Is it just me or does it seem like each new guy is her “rebound guy” from the previous guy? she seems to go from one relationship to the next with little to no breaks in between… that’s not healthy… but hey, if that’s her prerogative.
It does seem weird she would want to get married this often though, I mean most brides only have to worry about tripping over their dress hem. She’s got that chin to be dodgin’, too.
OK, let’s start the pool, how long will it last this time?
Hugh Hefner is Getting Married to Playmate Crystal Harris
HOLY SHIT! We here at The Daily Fix are officially psychic, because we posted some random pictures of Playboy girl Crystal Harris last week and mentioned that she was currently Hugh’s only girlfriend as well as a fan of old wrinkly cocks. Well now as it turns out the old bastard has gotten engaged to her sweet looking ass. Lottery here we come!
Natalie Portman is Pregnant and Engaged
Boo! Natalie Portman will never be mine or your girlfriend, because she got her self knocked up (Maybe with twins? Maybe a boy and a girl? Here come Luke and Leia…) and engaged to ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, who she met while shooting Black Swan. Wait what… since when can humans procreate with millipedes?
Naa I jest, “Mille pied” actually means “thousand feet” in French, so I kind of get the sense this is a stage name and his real name is like.. Bejamin Fartelheimsburg. If it’s a real name, then it’s an insane coincidence that he’s a dancer. Like someone who’s name is Smith working as a blacksmith. OK I’m getting way off topic, where was I? Ahh yes, Natalie being preggors…
The people over at People have spoken:
Natalie Portman and choreographer Benjamin Millepied are engaged and expecting their first child, her reps confirm to PEOPLE exclusively.
The couple met during the production of Black Swan. Portman’s performance in the film has earned her nominations for a Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Award.
The actress, 29, will next be seen in the romantic comedy, No Strings Attached, costarring Ashton Kutcher.
This will be the first child for the actress who is due in 2011.
So I guess Natalie wasn’t only letting Mila Kunis munch on her vagina during the filming of Black Swan, but also letting some ballet dude get his willy all up in her thing.
This is really going to mess up her choices for an Oscar Dress. Bjork’s much-maligned dress may get a second chance.
Nicky Hilton to get married a second time?
Page Six is reporting that Paris Hilton’s sister Nicky is getting ready to walk down the aisle again, this time with her long-term boyfriend, David Katzenberg who is planning a proposal. The two have been dating for 4 years, which is apparently how long it took her boyfriend to come up with the cash for an engagement ring that wouldn’t automatically cause Paris Hilton to fall on the floor in a fit of laughter and subsequently hit them in the face with gamma rays shooting out of her exposed crotch.
And just in case you thought this was the sensitive and more down to earth sister of the two, Nikky forbade him from proposing to her during the Oscars. Because apparently interrupting her from watching Oscar Cojo and his bloated face dreaming of sitting on Tina Fey’s dress with a bag of Cheetos and a can of diet coke was too much to bare. Yeap, these two are definitely headed for wedded-bliss.
Via OK! Magazine:
The socialite-turned-fashion designer has been dating TV producer David Katzenberg since 2006. They became involved two years after her marriage to businessman Todd Andrew Meister was annulled shortly after their Las Vegas wedding.
Hilton dismissed rumours of an engagement to Katzenberg in 2008, but her boyfriend is now said to be preparing to make their union official, according to New York Post gossip column Page Six.
A source tells the newspaper, “Obviously, David would never propose around Oscar time. But now that awards season is over, everyone thinks he’ll ask her soon.”
Someone actually proposed to Tara Reid
Yes, Tara Reid is engaged, and according to People magazine her boyfriend of one year Michael Axtmann proposed to her while they were having dinner at The Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles on Monday night(”Tara was so happy, and the other patrons clapped and yelled out, ‘Congratulations.’”).
So since we know the guy got down on one knee, found her hand and put a ring on it, we’re pretty sure he’s not blind (witnesses did not mention a man sticking a diamond ring on a piece of bread stick) and he’s not quadriplegic (blindness and paralysis are requirements for deciding to marry her because we’re pretty sure even with a blind man, the sense of touch alone would have sent him straight to a shrink’s couch for some heavy penis psychotherapy).
Which leaves us only with the theory that the man has never seen Tara Reid without her clothes off and has definitely never had sex with her and can only assume she’s been claiming to have her period for an entire year and offering her Playboy photo shoot for bathroom entertainment every time he asks for it.
Reid, 34, and Axtmann, an Internet entrepreneur, began dating last year. They are planning a small wedding for family and friends by this summer.
Reid, who posed for Playboy’s January/February issue, recently completed production on the comedy Last Call and the psychological thriller The Fields.