Well, the official reason was because his heart was showing signs of “distress.” Some news outlets are calling it a minor heart attack! However, we all know what they really mean. He is fat and was trying play football with an Australian football club. What did they expect to happen? I mean it is great he was trying to get some exercise, but maybe he should start with something a little easier? Perhaps, some light Yoga and a few jumping jacks? If you’re wondering, Kevin is only 33 years old! That is too early to be that out of shape and having heart issues. He’s currently shooting a reality show named, “Excess Baggage.” So, I am guessing it’s about his journey to lose weight, or something. Which is great! He needs to get healthy, and I think the fact that he is already having heart issues is a clear sign of that. It’s easy to see why he let himself go. He lost all his fame and Britney Spears, and was considered to be a big loser by most people. Rock bottom was probably when; “Twinkie” was his only remaining Facebook friend. Anyway, let’s hope that he recovers from this and gets back in great shape! We’re rooting for you, Kevin! Burn off the loneliness!
A few days ago I wrote a pretty harsh article towards Christina Aguilera. I even called her, “disgusting.” However, if you read the article I think I explained why I thought she was disgusting in a polite manner. Well, now Christina is fighting back at the critics (like me) and she had a lot to say. Let’s take a look at some of her quotes… ‘Being too thin. Being bigger. I’ve been criticized for being on both sides of the scale. It’s noise I block out automatically. I love my body. My boyfriend loves my body. My son is healthy and happy, so that’s all that matters to me.’ ‘When I worked on Burlesque, I lost so much weight that I was too skinny.’ ‘I happen to be very confident in my own skin. It takes time to get to that place, but it’s all about embracing yourself and your body.’ Now, all of that is just fine! If she is happy, it doesn’t matter what some blogger on the internet says. But, I just want to clarify on why I still think she is disgusting and why she shouldn’t be comfortable wearing some of clothes she wears. I am not hating on her just because she has gained weight, I mean there are some “curvy” ladies that are really hot. I am not against having a few pounds on you, but what I am against is chubby women dressing like they’re still skinny. That is exactly what Christina Aguilera does, and it just doesn’t look right. I mean why go braless when you know your breasts have been through hell and back? It just doesn’t make any sense. Why can’t you class it up? If you weren’t shoving your unattractive breasts at us everyday, maybe you would be a little more attractive. It’s like that one housewife who still refuses to grow up, you know? And, every time the mailman comes by she is out watering her lawn, in an old pair of daisy dukes. But, they look horrible and don’t fit, so they’re more like a pair of daisy nukes. You know what I am talking about? You know.
Well, Britney Spears has already started planning her wedding to Jason Trawick. The Daily Mail reported the following… For her third time down the aisle, Britney Spears is hoping, understandably, for a low-key, traditional affair. The 30-year-old singer is alleged to be planning a traditional, Southern-style country wedding to fiancé Jason Trawick, 40. According to US reports, Spears and Trawick will be shunning the typical Hollywood wedding in favour of a small family celebration, possible in her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana. A source claimed to InTouch Weekly: “She wants a traditional Southern-style wedding with comfort food, surrounded by her family, her two sons and all of her childhood friends.” I love when people say that, “Comfort Food” it’s just another way of saying, “Fatty Food.” No one ever has healthy comfort food. You never hear anyone say, “I miss my mom’s ground turkey burger; it was such a great comfort food.” No one likes eating turkey burgers, they’re disgusting. If you want to eat a burger, then eat a freaking burger. Don’t eat a poultry burger! Plus she says she wants to be surrounded by her family and childhood friends. Isn’t that comfort enough? Why do you need some fried pickles to go with it? Food isn’t supposed to be comforting! Food gives you energy and helps keep you alive. If you want comfort, go hug a fat person. I realize I just went off on a random rant that didn’t have much to do with Britney Spears. I apologize to those of you that were actually hoping for a breakdown of her upcoming wedding. If I get invited, I will be sure to give you all the details. You know the digits, Britney. Hit me up.
I don’t know if a lot of you know this, but Russell Crowe got pretty tubby. You can see in the pictures that were taken just six months apart. You can tell that he has indeed lost some weight in the past six months, but I am not jumping on the bandwagon just yet. He is wearing pretty baggy clothes, so it’s not possible to get an accurate picture of his weight. I will say his face does look a little slimmer and his legs do look a little toner, but I am not convinced he his giving it his all. I think he is still packing some cupcakes in every once in awhile, and that is fine! Have a few cupcakes, he looks to be at a healthy weight now. He’s a famous actor and has a lot of money; he doesn’t need to be ripped to get hot chicks. Once a hot chick finds out that you’ve been in a movie, the panties just drop off and before you know it you are in happy town. So, it’s okay to be a little chubby, Russell. Take a few walks, do a few push-ups and maybe some jumping jacks, you’ll be just fine. You might not ever get back to your Gladiator days, but that’s okay! You are in perfect shape to play some clueless dad on a TV sitcom. If Tim Allen can keep landing jobs, then you can too!
That’s right. We here at The Daily Fix know that when a star starts to get pudgy and they start talking about how they’re just addicted to chocolate, well, that means only one thing… the b!tch is knocked up!
If you look at the pictures of Britney while on her Femme Fatale tour, you see that she’s been wearing a lot of corsets and costumes that strap across the torso, all outfits that deter away from the bulging belly region. Even when we do see her midriff, it always appears that she’s trying to suck in… and failing miserably.
When asked, Britney stated that her recent weight struggle is due to her love of chocolate and her lack of motivation. “I haven’t been to the gym in, like, two weeks,” she stated.
If she really is, indeed, expecting, then I have only one thing to say to her: For God’s sake, please put that kid in a car seat!
And on to ridiculously fat people who used to be able to bang an entire bus of groupies without even putting the microphone now. We give you Axl Rose, 1985′s Casanova-extraordinaire, here at Guns N’Roses concert in Brazil last night. Axl, who most likely buries his face into apple pies and whole-roasted chickens these days instead of funbags, refused to move around the stage blaming it on the rain:’
Good evening… good morning! Please bear with us and give us a little second here to figure out what to do about not falling on our asses.‘I’m going to try to focus on singing rather than running around like an idiot. I’m better at being an idiot. We want everybody to be careful.’ (“and can we wrap this up because i have a date with fatchicks.com?)
Ok, if this is not the saddest story ever, i don’t know what. I’m not saying it’s time someone took Axl in the barn and shot him down but we should at least consider it. What’s that Sarah Palin? Wanna shoot him down from a helicopter?
Jessica Simpson is supposed to be training with Tracey Anderson and getting married soon, so those things together would ordinarily be sufficient enough motive to stop her from clearing out all neighborhing supermarkets from cookie dough. Seen here getting the only exercise that makes sense, i.e walking from the car to the nearest hotdog stand, Jess could of course be babynated, which is not a remark we make lightly since we’ve suggested that before, only to find out she had just intercepted a ship on its way to Africa and emptied out all the beef jerky and porridge from its containers. You draw your own conclusions.
If you criticize Vanessa Hudgens’ weight, she will pop a cap in your ass. She made this very clear in an interview with U.K. magazine Fabulous:
“I can get very gangster at times. I used to be very timid. Now I’m my own person. I don’t feel pressure to look a certain way. My weight fluctuates, like any normal girl. If anyone told me to lose weight, I’d say ‘f%$k you’ and walk away.”
In the blood-in blood-out world of red carpet stardom, “you’re fat” is the equivalent of a drive-by shooting. Every time a starlet slaughters a paparazzo, she gets another vapid phrase tattooed in cursive somewhere on her person. What, you thought LiLo’s ink was just for show? Hardscrabble tween icons earn that shit on the mean streets of Rodeo Drive, in between cocaine binges and sexting marathons.
These pictures were taken of Scarlett Johansson on Sunday as she went for a jog with her new not-so-super-secret boyfriend Sean Penn, starting rumors that she was actually pregnant. Well the rumors spread like wildfire and her rep had to deny the pregnancy rumors by blaming the whole thing on her shirt. No, really:
“She’s outside running and it’s simply the placement of her shirt that is misleading. She’s been training for The Avengers for over four months and is in the best shape of her life.”
Why not just blame it on her sports bra. Say it’s pushing her boobs so far back they are coming out from all angles. That seems believable, right?
But yeah, she’s running. Which is obviously a sign she wants to lose weight. Consider me a genius. End of story.
So apparently Alicia Silverstone is about to give birth to a little Cher Horowitz. I’m judging this by the fact she looks like Britney Spears from the neck down and neck up like anyone featured on Faces of Meth… also known as being pregnant. Some people might say it’s not fair to post or comment on candid photos of a pregnant woman who, in her defense, looks less likely to go into labor than say, Kirstie Alley. However, I don’t give a shit, so there is that.
Meh I guess I can write something nice about her, how about she still looks hot in that un-showered, pregnant, no bra, fat, crocs wearing sort of way.
The three Kardashian whores sisters recently sat down with LOVE Magazine for a photo shoot and interview, and among other things, the youngest and the Wookieest of the three talked about the insults that she hears.
“I’m the ugly sister, I’m the fat one. I’m the transvestite. I have had those mean things said about me at least twice a day for the last five years. It’s horrible, you know? But I can brush that stuff off.”
Yep, that about sums up the feeling I have about this vulgar foul mouthed Sasquatch. But to answer your question Khloe, yeah, we know… We ARE those people. At least you now have a firm understanding of the nature of our relationship.
You know the old saying, if it looks like Chyna from WWF and queefs like Chyna from WWF then… well, you know the rest.
People are freaking out about the 25th Anniversary issue of Elle magazine which has released it’s magazine with 4 different covers. Each cover showing someone on their list of 25 notable women under 25. The covers show Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Gabourey Sidibe, and Lauren Conrad.
Sidibe is actually 27, but that’s not why Elle is facing criticism. Gabourey Sidibe, star of the movie “Precious, a novel by STFU nobody cares about your novel” is depicted on the cover with a close-up shot, while the other girls have full body shots, and this has put fatties nationwide into a Hulk-like rage. Personally I find it offensive for any magazine to show this incredibly obese girl on their cover. No one in their right mind wants to see her.
Bring on the bacon cheeseburgers, folks, because fat guys do it better (or, they can at least do it for longer – which, for most women, implies better). Salon.com recently reported that researchers from Erciyes University in Turkey just completed a yearlong study on how a man’s BMI impacts his sexual performance, and the results show that heavier guys last longer in the sack-six-and-a-half minutes longer, to be exact. The heavier men who participated in the study were able to last an average of seven minutes and 18 seconds, while the lighter men only lasted an average of one minute and 48 seconds. As with all of these sorts of scientific studies, we are curious about the methodology. Did a bunch of Turkish researchers in lab coats stand around with stopwatches and time men of various sizes while they got down and dirty with their girlfriends? That just seems like it would be uncomfortable for everyone involved.
In any event, the researchers who conducted the study attributed the difference in finish times to the fact that fat men have higher levels of female hormones than skinny men. Apparently higher levels of female hormones slow a man’s natural progression toward orgasm. Subsequently, the more unmasculine a guy’s body, the more likely he is to be a better lover. Does this mean that skinny, manly-looking women climax faster, like a guy? The study doesn’t say, but we can’t help but wonder. Regardless, if you are a fit man who is a bit of a Speedy Gonzales in the boudoir, you might consider putting your weights down, kicking back and chunking up a little-just the advice you’ve been waiting all your life to receive.