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First Cheryl Cole and now Steve Jones?
Gilbert Gottfried Fired Over Japan Tweets
Gilbert Gottfried should have switched to Geico.
The voice behind the unequivocally irritating Aflac duck, Gilbert Gottfried, has been canned by the insurance company following a series of ill-advised jokes he tweeted (quacked?) about Japan this weekend.
The original tweets have since been removed, but included a slew of crude slapstick cracks like, “I fucked a girl in japan. She screamed “I feel the earth move and I’m getting wet,” and, “What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.”
The jokes aren’t too surprising coming from Gottfried, the man who prompted a mass of people yelling, “Too soon!” with a joke about the Empire State Building at a Friars Club roast three weeks after 9/11. But the painfully unfunny tsunami tweets struck especially close to home with Aflac, which does 75 percent of its business in Japan.
“Gilbert’s recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac,” Aflac Senior Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer Michael Zuna said in a statement Monday, reports TMZ. “There is no place for anything but compassion and concern during these difficult times.”
A “nationwide casting call” is now underway to find a new voice for its duck.
Aflac, which does 75 percent of its business in Japan, also plans to donate $100 million to disaster relief.
In reality Aflac is just unhappy because of the 15,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 yen it is going to be paying out in claims.
Charlie Sheen Has Been Officially Fired
Charlie Sheen’s bafflingly popular sitcom Two and a Half Men was put on ice for the rest of the season, but Warner Bros. just released a statement announcing Sheen’s been “terminated… effective immediately.” Are we finally rid of this show forever? Or will they just get Emilio Estevez’ character from the show to come back to life, kill Charlie Sheen’s character and, much like a lion, assume his position as the cargo-short wearing, sex-having, one-liner dropping patriarch.
According to TMZ:
Warner Bros. issued the following statement: “After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services on ‘Two and a Half Men,’ effective immediately.”
A source at Warner Bros. says no decision has been made on whether the show will come back.
But let me get this straight… Charlie Sheen doesn’t get fired for the endless incidents of partying with hookers and illegal drugs; he doesn’t get fired for allegedly threatening his ex-wife with a knife; he doesn’t get fired when he parties so hard that he ends up in the hospital; he doesn’t get fired when he takes his mental instability onto national television. It’s not until he verbally assaults the executive producer that he actually ends up getting canned. It seems to me that CBS was perfectly fine with all of the publicity that Sheen was creating, until it bruised the fragile egos of the show’s producers. Maybe I have it wrong, but that’s sure what it looks like from the outside.
The Rehab Worker Who Got in a Fight With Lindsay Lohan makes $10,000 off TMZ and Gets Fired
Dawn Holland, the Betty Ford Clinic employee who said Lindsay Lohan assaulted her has been fired, has hired a lawyer, and is facing rival charges of abuse from LiLo. She got fired for taking an interview with TMZ who paid Holland $10,000 for an interview which is a confidentiality violation and thus gopt her ass fired, these are some of the highlights from her interview with TMZ:
- Holland says she was called in by Betty Ford security to do a breathalyzer test on Lindsay and her two roommates after they returned (although now Lindsay says she was not at a bar and was actually getting her hair done.)
- When confronted, Holland says Lindsay “threw the phone … I threw up my left hand to block it and then she grabbed my right hand and tried to snatch the phone that I had up to my ear, then called me a “Cuntt bitch”
- During all this, Lindsay called her mom, who told Lindsay “no one had to submit to a breathalyzer test.”
- Holland writes one of the roommates admitted drinking, and then went into Lindsay’s bedroom and Lindsay “yelled at me that she was talking to her mother and her mother told her she didn’t have to breathalyze, she asked me if I wanted to speak to her mother but would never hand me the phone.”
- In the report Holland says she told Lindsay – whose code name at the clinic is Bella G. – “You know that I could press charges against you for putting your hands on me. And she replied ‘Oh, you want money’.”
Holland’s ex-husband was wise enough to use this golden oppertunity to get one over on his ex-wife by calling Holland an opportunistic gold digger.
Why is it that LiLo always ends up in the midst of a kerfuffle? Could it be that she refuses to believe that rules apply to her? Sure the employee might have been wrong to talk to TMZ, but if LL was obeying the rules and the spirit of her recovery program, she wouldn’t have to climb over a fence to sneak back into her house. I say don’t cut her any slack at all for this most recent excapade.
But of course the little princess will walk away yet again without a real sentance.
Lindsay Lohan is Now Officially Unemployed
Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been fired from the role of Linda Lovelace in a forthcoming biopic of the 70s porn star. Matthew Wilder, director and screenwriter of Inferno, said on his Facebook page at the weekend that he had been forced to dismiss the actor due to her ongoing travails.
“We are withdrawing our offer from Lindsay Lohan,” Wilder told E! “We are currently in negotiations [with another actress] and working out the legalities of bringing her onboard.”
“We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support,” Wilder says. “Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her—and some other issues—have made it impossible for us to go forward.”
Meanwhile, a source close to Lohan tells E! News the starlet wasn’t happy with the direction of the movie, regardless.
“She wanted them to tone down a lot of the racy scenes”, the source said. “It wasn’t going to be good for her to play someone with substance issues when she is going through her own recovery.”
Lohan will also apprently be replaced by Malin Akerman, who was in movies such as Watchmen and Couples Retreat…oh and she flashed her panties that one time too.
All of this means that Lindsay’s current employment opportunities are at a big fat zero, since who would want to hire her anyways, it would cost more than what Avatar’s budget was just to cover the insurance on her coke addicted nose. This also means you just lost your one chance to gaze into Lindsay’s gigantic afro bush the color of fire.
Bob Barker Hates Fetuses and the Whores Who Have Them
There are two things that people need to know about the Price is Right – it is no place for Drew Carey or pregnant women. One model claims she was fired from the show because she was pregnant. And who is she pointing her finger at? The one and only Bob Barker.
Shane Stirling, the model, claims that right after she announced that she was pregnant in December 2006, she was “forced into an early pregnancy leave, was not allowed to return to work for almost a year after her child’s birth, and was fired abruptly.”
According to TMZ:
In a lawsuit, filed Friday in L.A. County Superior Court, Stirling claims Barker had a significant role in her termination — claiming, “The host of the game show had always been very kind and generous to Stirling until he learned that she was pregnant.”
Stirling claims Barker insisted that she wouldn’t work while she was pregnant because it was “dangerous” and a “liability” … an advised her to “go home and take care of your baby.”
Stirling claims she was finally allowed to return to the show in 2008 — after Barker had left — but was soon told that the show was “going in another direction” and was subsequently fired.
In her suit, Stirling claims that if she had “been allowed to return to work sooner after having her baby, she could have become acquainted with the new people working on the game show and thereby would have had a better chance to retain her job.”
She’s now suing for more than $25,000.
The fact that she didn’t last long after a company after taking so much time off isn’t a big surprise -it happens a lot when women take off ridiculous amounts of time to give birth to their spawn. …yet, another tidbit of information is true as well – if you’re pregnant, you better damn well stay away from Barker or you’ll piss him off.
Heidi Montag fires psychic manager just after one week
And guess what? The psychic did not know about it until he read it on the internet which proves we were right all along in thinking he was scamming her (read: skills of persuasion not too important with blow-up dolls). If the guy was truly legit, he would have predicted Heidi would turn into latex in the next two years which would make it impossible to get her film work (unless it involved documentaries on the dangers of polymers in plastic water bottles) and would therefore, quickly attempt to get new customers like Audrina Patridge on the set of The Hills. Oh, wait. That’s what he did, didn’t he?
Via Popeater.com:
Those who predicted the relationship between Heidi Montag and her new psychic business manager was doomed were absolutely correct.
It lasted a week before Montag announced she and Malibu psychic Aiden Chase were parting ways, according to People.com.
“I have decided to part ways with Mr. Chase both as a manager and as a psychic and will scrutinize my business decisions more carefully in the future,” Montag told the website, apparently with a straight face. “I will now be managing my own career as a strong and independent woman.”
It was a spiritually wonderful beginning for the two. Chase worked as Montag’s “intuitive healer” for a month after her 10 plastic surgeries. After that, Montag gave Chase the job held by husband Spencer Pratt for five years.
When contacted by the website, Chase said he was “not aware of any change in my business relationship with Heidi Montag” other than what was on the internet. What kind of psychic is this?
Montag mentioned “recent behavior” on both the set of “The Hills” and the star-studded movie “Just Go For it” as the reason for her to “question the decision” of hiring Chase. She was not specific on the behavior.
But Chase denied to People that he crashed any set or tried to poach Audrina Patridge as a client.