Archive for the "Gay" Category

Dear Shae, I think I’m gay… -Jon D

Dear Shae, I think I’m gay but I don’t know how to go about finding out. Advice?

- Jon D
Dear Jon D,
If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands!
If you desire someone that is of the same sex…
If you are thinking, “hey that penis look really nice.” even though you have your own…
Whatever the case may be, be true to yourself…
Try a tranny first, ease into your new lifestyle. Chew some skittles…if your skittles erection lasts longer than four hours, then yes you’re gay and it’s okay…

Have a questions you’d like Shae to answer?

 

Dear Shae, In the song ‘Yankee Doodle’, is it the horse, or the feather that he is calling ‘Macaroni’? – Jennie May

Dear Shae, In the song ‘Yankee Doodle’, is it the horse, or the feather that he is calling ‘Macaroni’?

- Jennie May

Dear Jennie,
He is actually referring to his hat wearing pony. The feather was actually a sparkler to light up the night air. Two things in todays society is a direct result of that feather and hat. 1) Yankee Candle Company and 2) The homophobic term “flame” which references a gay sparkling hat wearing pony.

 

Just Dandy...

 

Have a questions you’d like Shae to answer?

 

Taylor Lautner is Gay?

Rumors are running wild on Twitter that Twilight star Taylor Lautner is gay and it looks like a photoshopped magazine cover is to blame. You can see in the picture above that the magazine cover says, ‘Out and Proud’ but don’t worry teen girls all over the world, it is photoshopped! Now, he still could be gay, but that has not yet been confirmed. Taylor has been apart of a lot of gay rumors, and I am not sure why. I guess it’s because people automatically think if a guy dresses really nice, then he has to be gay. It could be because of his voice, but he can’t help his voice! I think we should all leave him alone because he could probably kick all of our asses. I wouldn’t want to mess him, plus there is that whole werewolf thing. What if he really can turn into a werewolf, huh? WHAT THEN? Yeah, you better watch your back. Anyway, let’s look at some of the funnier tweets from this debacle…. @dom32delgado NOOOOOOOO!! The world is coming to an end. Taylor Lautner is gay! Why are all the fine ones gay? #realquestions @Lord_Voldemort7 “Taylor Lautner is gay” is trending. False! He is still happily in the cupboard under the stairs. @speaknow513 if Taylor Lautner is gay, Rebecca Black is the #bestsingerof2011 like, come on, we both know that’s a lie.
 

Bristol Palin rides a mechanical bull and fights off The Homosexuals at the same time

Click here to view the embedded video.

Since Bristol Palin’s mommy stole the limelight recently with her love of the black penis, Bristol Palin and her brand new face had to do something to get it back. Urgently. And since doing coke on top of an oil-drum has already been done, and screaming “Levi raped me, so i’m technically still a virgin” to the media is getting old, she decided to wear her best Jesus Is Cool sweatshirt and attend a charity event honoring the efforts of Planned Parenthood. Ok, we’re messing with you. She wrote that shirt to ride a mechanical bull and had a crew film it for her new reality show.

Things, however, took an ugly turn when a homosexual (it’s what they call them in Alaska nowdays) H8R started calling her and her mommy names. Which was beautiful. And poetic. Especially after Sarah Palin showed up in a helicopter and started shooting every one in the bar.

 

Gays Honor Christina Aguilera & Her Boobs With a Walk of Fame Star

Christina Aguilera and her huge boobs were honored with the very first star on the Hollywood Gay Walk of Fame last night despite not being gay and clearly having engaged in heterosexual intercourse, hence her baby. But sure, honoring a straight woman on the gay walk of fame may seem odd, but we have to ease into these things. Giving the first star to a woman who looks like a man in drag is just the first baby step.

Somewhere Lady Gaga is throwing a temper tantrum “My managers manufactured my whole fake career around you retarded faggots, the least you could do is give me a Star”.

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This is Perfectly Normal for a Son and Mother… as Long as the Son is Gay

Stephanie Seymour got a lot of attention last month when she was frolicking on a beach with her 17-year-old son, Peter Brant II, which set the blogosphere aflame that they were bumpin’ uglies (the incest kind).

Well PB2 headed over to his FaceBook page and said “this whole Beach kiss scandal” was a “malicious attack.” He knew the paparazzi was watching, and says he did no wrong and that he doesn’t like the vag anyway:

“My mother and I are very close as she is with all her children. She often hugs and kisses me and my siblings in a manner that is intimate. Any mother in the world does the same. That day on the beach we walked around with each other completely aware of the presence of photographers there.”
“We have nothing to hide and with that in mind I would like to say that I am openly gay. At my age my mother and I are almost like friends and I feel open to talk to her about anything (and yes, our relationship may be different because of my sexuality).”

Oh, I’ve heard that one before, the old “I’m gay, it’s OK for me to touch your boobs and stick my tongue in your mouth” card.

Besides, he didn’t say, “I don’t touch my mom’s breasts”. He didn’t say “That isn’t a boner”. He didn’t say, “I don’t bang my mom”. So really, everything we’ve surmised from these pictures must be true. As you were people.

Stephanie Seymour and her Gay Son Stephanie Seymour and her Gay Son Stephanie Seymour and her Gay Son Stephanie Seymour and her Gay Son Stephanie Seymour and her Gay Son
 

Amber Heard is a Lesbian, a Smoking Hot Lesbian

Uber hottie Amber Heard who you’ll know from appearing for a whole 5 minutes in films like Zombieland and Pineapple Express and who will soon appear as Jonny Depp’s love interest in ‘The Rum Diaries,’ just came out of the closet with her girlfriend, photographer Tasya van Ree, whom she has been carpet munching with since 2008.

Speaking to the gay rights-focused entertainment site AfterEllen.com, Heard said coming out was both a personal and moral triumph.

“I think when I became aware of my role in the media, I had to ask myself an important question ‘Am I part of the problem?’” she told the the website. “And I think that when millions and millions of hard-working, tax paying Americans are denied their rights and denied their equality you have to ask yourself what are the factors that are an epidemic problem and that’s what this is.

“Injustice can never be stood for. It always must be fought against and I just was sick of it being a problem,” Heard said, adding, “I personally think that if you deny something or if you hide something you’re inadvertently admitting it’s wrong. I don’t feel like I’m wrong.”

As for van Ree? “She’s so beautiful. I mean, you’d have to be crazy not to want to go out with her!”

We have no problem with this gorgeous girl being a lesbian, as long as we can watch.

Props to her for enjoying the taste of the ‘gina and looking like the type of lesbian that the porn industry has spent years selling us. Justin Bieber will be a happy little girl knowing she now has a chance with Amber.

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Uber hottie Amber Heard who you’ll know from films like Zombieland and Pineapple Express and who will soon appear as Jonny Depp’s love interest in ‘The Rum Diaries,’ just came out of the closet with her girlfriend, photographer Tasya van Ree, whom she has been carpet munching with since 2008.
 

Karl Lagerfeld’s couture penis gets inspired only by boy hookers

340x_custom_1268892489927_lagerfeldClearly because our goal was to get your mind off of heavily tattooed Neonazi sluts and stop you from trying to figure out exactly how many genital warts Jesse James is sporting at this very moment, we made this post all about the penis…no vagina in sight. Which in hindsight wasn’t such a great idea since Karl Lagerfeld talking about ramming his Chanel-clad pre-Roman Empire artifact into young male prostitutes will probably have you running into the arms of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee yelling “Sex Haben Mein Fuhrer!”

Here’s what the godfather of gay with the eye burkas had to say to Vice magazine this week:

“I admire porn. I admire porn actors. Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and porn movies…[but] I personally only like high-class escorts. I don’t like sleeping with people I really love. I don’t want to sleep with them because sex cannot last, but affection can last forever. I think this is healthy. And for the way the rich live, this is possible. But the other world, I think they need porn.”

And Lagerfeld has never had sex with someone older than him: “No. It never went that far.”

 

Fergie Likes Men With Gigantic Packages And Women, But No Stripper Threesomes


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Fergie likes women and men that are hung. The pissy songstress also spoke about the chance of a threesome with her hubby, Josh Duhamel:

She said Duhamel, 37, wasn’t bothered that she had experimented with women. “I’ve been very honest with him from the get-go,” she said. “I think women are beautiful. I’ve had a lot of fun with women, and I’m not ashamed of it. “The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man,” she added. “But just because I enjoy women doesn’t mean I’m allowed to have affairs in my relationship.”

You freak. That hubby looks like a snake anyway, so no telling on how long this perfect wedding will last.

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