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Heidi Montag is Back in a Bikini After “Working Out 14 Hours A Day” for 2 Months
It’s been a while since we’ve seen heidi posing for bikini pictures (orange you glad she’s back?), but here she is hosting a pool party at Wet Republic in Las Vegas over the weekend, with fellow sewer rats Crystal Harris and Spencer Pratt. And while the rest of us might buy some new shorts for a pool party, Heidi has spent the last two months getting ready for hers, by inflating her tits and “working out” (starving herself).
Us Magazine was kind enough to talk to the retard:
Before she slipped back into a bikini for Saturday’s party at Las Vegas’ Wet Republic — the last time she was photographed in a two-piece was April 2010 – Heidi Montag spent some serious time in the gym. “I’ve been working out from, like, 5 a.m. to 7 p.m. for two months now. I’ve been working out really hard because I had this pool party and I was like, I have to be in shape,” she told Us Weekly. “And I was actually a lot overweight. It was the most I’ve ever been because I’ve kind of been in hiding eating pie with my husband and puppies, so I needed to get back in shape.” At her heaviest, the 5’2″ reality star claimed she weighed 130 pounds; she’s currently back down to 103. How did the Hills alum lose 27 pounds so quickly? “I’ve been running a lot, and I’ve been doing weights,” she said. “When you work out, you boost your metabolism, so you have to [make sure you eat enough].” “My breasts, because they’re so big, really needed some time,” she explained. “So I’m just starting to work out again after my surgery. Sometimes I get shooting pains, but I hear that’s normal.”
Lets say that is even anywhere close to being true, please keep in mind that she worked out for 14 hours a day for two months so she could attend…a f%&king pool party. Attention whoring has become a serious job now, heck she works two shifts a day at it.
Still I’d bang it, I mean she is hot (kinda like a perfect sex toy)… and judging by the color of her skin, she just got out of a George Foreman grill, so no wonder she’s hot.
Heidi Montag looks shocked?
A few weeks back, I took a bit of guff for giving Rachel Uchitel a hard time. I would like to say that it’s never my intention to offend. Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth (or fingers in this case) that prevents them from blurting whatever pops into their head. I do not have that filter. So how about this, I’m about to write about Heidi Montag. If you’re a Heidi Montag fan or object to the idea of me writing negatively about her, perhaps you should skip to the next post. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
I absolutely loathe Heidi Montag and everything she stands for. The only ‘celebrity’ I dislike more than Heidi is her counterpart Spencer. Are they married again? Were they ever married? I have no idea. I stopped hearing about them long ago and I hoped it would stay that way. These two are just awful. I wouldn’t give them a moment of my time were it not my job to do so but it is, so here I am. Sorry for the rant and sorry for any offense it may have caused.
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Heidi Montag Lied About Jennifer Aniston Getting Her Banned from Premiere
Looks like Jennifer Aniston’s reps got to Heidi. Though she claimed last week that Aniston banned her from the Just Go With It premiere, according to Us Magazine she now says:
“I read that Jennifer had banned me from the premiere for being too polarizing, but I know now that it wasn’t true,” Montag tells Us. “It never really made sense to me because Jennifer is such a sweetheart and she even commented before on a red carpet about how interesting and fun it was to have me in the movie.”
“I got my invite and I would have loved to be there, but I had to be Los Angeles with my dogs,” Montag explained. “I was honored to be a part of such a great movie and I apologize to Jennifer and Sony for this big misunderstanding. Go see the movie this weekend! It’s fantastic!”
Read it? She said it! Heidi is nuts trying to pull off this complete 180, “Jen banned me from the red carpet, oh wait, ha ha, I had an invite but CHOSE to hang out with my dogs instead.” Riiiiightttt. Another proud graduate of the Kim Kardashian school of public speaking. When in trouble, back-track on the double! Other graduates include Kim herself and Tara Reid.
So this post isn’t a complete waste of space and seeing how it’s Valentine’s Day here are some pictures of the skank dressed in some red lingerie. Now decide exactly where you would bust your nut on her. My choice: directly under her nostrils.
Heidi Montag Says Jennifer Aniston Banned Her From Movie Premiere
Despite shooting a tiny cameo in Jennifer Aniston’s movie Just Go With It, Heidi Montag says that she was put on the blacklist for the NYC premiere earlier this week. Heidi told Us Weekly that Jennifer Aniston banned her.
“I was so excited! This is the first movie I’ve ever been in and I can’t walk the red carpet because Jennifer Aniston decided I was ‘too polarizing.’ … I’ve been such a huge Jennifer Aniston fan my entire life and it’s just really upsetting that she would do this to me. … She should know how hard it is to make a career for yourself and to have someone like Jennifer Aniston go out of her way to make things hard for me is really disheartening.”
Jennifer Aniston denies she got Heidi banned, and I’m forced to believe her. No reason not too really. I mean Jennifer recently agreed to be on “Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis” with TILA TEQUILA! Knowing full well she’d be spending the rest of her day covered in flea dip while her clothes burn in a chimney in the backyard. So being in the same vicinity as someone trying to make a career for herself by being a “pump-me-up-and-sex-me doll” seems quite tame in comparison.
As for the pictures attached to this post, they are of Heidi on the set for the movie, and judging by them I think it’s safe to say that when Heidi dies her corpse would stay pliable and not decompose for thousands of years. I’m actually seriously contemplating digging her up after she offs herself and having a “Real doll” that could pass down for generations.
Heidi and Spencer’s Bankruptcy: Just the Numbers
In case you haven’t heard, reality stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have declared bankruptcy. Although this may not come as a huge surprise, it’s still very comical to see how they blew their undeserved fortune. After all that expensive work, at least Heidi will be looking her best at the unemployment office. I can’t wait till Spencer is pumping my gas and Heidi is giving me table dances.
$10 million
Amount of money Heidi and Spencer estimate they “squandered” during their brief moment in the limelight
$165,000
Amount the duo was paid for each episode of “The Hills”
10 years
How much longer Spencer expected “The Hills” to run (it ended in 2009)
10 hours
Duration of Heidi’s “marathon” plastic surgery session in 2007
10
Number of procedures she underwent, including breast augmentation, buttock augmentation, and chin reduction
$100,000+
Combined cost of those surgeries and aftercare
$3 million
Total investment in Heidi’s music career
1,000
Approximate number of copies Heidi’s first album “Superficial” sold in the week after its release
$400,000
Cost of hiring ex-marines as personal bodyguards
$35,000
Monthly cost of the couple’s Malibu pad
$500,000
Amount Spencer spent on gems, to which he once claimed he was “so addicted”
$2 million
Back taxes currently owed by the couple
14
How old Spencer says he feels, now that he and Heidi are stuck living at home with his parents
Picture Gallery: Celebrity Halloween Costume 2010
I wait impatiently for 365 days just to embrace this special day with all my heart because Halloween never fades away without giving us some hot and weird moments. Some are hot and some are weird, but each celebrity babe is a sparkling gem when it comes to showing off their Halloween costumes. Though Heidi Klum is (and will always remain) my all-time favorite, I feel the other babes in the gallery deserve some attention too. Check out the babes in their Halloween costumes after the jump.
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Heidi Montag Busts Out The Big Guns
I’m not really surprised that Heidi Montag is dressed up as a trashy blond bimbo for Halloween, this kind of costume really suits her and her personality, but I am kind of shocked that she’s covering up her big fake cleavage with her hair extension. What a waste. Don’t get me wrong, I still like it and we still get an awesome side peak at those things, but if you’re going to do it, do it right.
more pictures of Heidi Montag here
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Photos: WENN.com
Hey Guys, Look Who are Back Together Again, Oh Joy
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt decided to conveniently reconcile on a beach in Malibu yesterday, and they even brought a change of clothes, YAY spontaneity!
And yes douchecock over there is wearing two watches, it’s so he can extend Spedi’s 15 minutes of fame.
Douche Moses Finally Shaves Off His Beard
Oh happy day: Spencer Pratt finally ditched his mangy facial pubic hair! He recently posted a YouTube video (on his brand new “everydayadouchecock” youtube page), which shows him shaving the vagina fur from his face, sort of. He claims he did it “in honor of things working out between my wife Heidi Montag and myself.”"
Now I was thinking about this douchenozzle earlier today and why it was that I find myself writing about him so much, and I came to this conclusion: Spencer has pretty much dominated the entire celebrity / entertainment news industry like a fricking chess master. He’s the Bobby Fischer of celebrity media.
Think about it, he’s completely irrelevant, has no skills, produces nothing of value, doesn’t sing or prance around a dance stage, doesn’t act, does NOTHING at all… yet manages to get his face in print on a daily basis.
Is Spencer a douche? Yeah, but he’s still pretty much managed to make us his bitches, and that makes me a sad little fella 
Right serious realization moment over, now back to calling him a fag.
Heidi Montag And King of the Douche People On a Date
Why lookie here, if it isn’t Heidi Montag and her homeless looking husband on a date at the Santa Barbara Zoo yesterday. But wait, weren’t they getting divorced I hear you ask. Yes that’s what they said, but they are pathological liars who crave nothing more than attention, and since Heidi has big boobs we all seem to give it to them.
Douche-Moses here really should go take a hike near the Iraqi border.
Just One Pic: Heidi Montag and her fake boobs
Now this is what you are left with when you go overboard in realizing your dreams. I agree that breast implants do help in raising more than just the spirits of a woman, but it’s definitely not fun when your assets turn into one oversized liability. It goes seriously against the ethics of this post but I’m posting a second pic just to show you that Heidi Montag has finally started to realize that she made a ‘big’ mistake. Her expressions give true picture of her agony. Check out the other pic after the jump.
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Heidi Montag Poses For the Paparazzi One Last time in Costa Rica
Just before Heidi Montag left Costa Rica she used to opportunity to pose one last time for the paparazzi, in a bikini that apparently couldn’t contain her moon sized jugs.
So YAY! Now we have bikini pictures of a girl with big tits. “Even more bikini pictures”, I should say that is. If I were religious I’d say a prayer and give thanks for the plentiful bounty o’ this day.
I’m even beginning to sympathize with her for having had her plastic surgeon whacked. Looking at the last pic in the series, her new ass is kind of a train wreck and needs a good lift.
Bikini Clad Heidi Montag Enjoys Cocktails in Costa Rica
Heidi Montag is still chilling and soaking up the sun in Costa Rica, having been there for a few weeks now in seclusion after she allegedly filed for divorce from King of the douche-people Spencer Pratt.
Heidi previously said she went down there to get her implants taken out, but judging from these pictures that dog of hers has knocked some sense into her and her heavenly tits are still bolted on firmly. One thing that has improved greatly about her figure while she’s been in Costa Rica is that all of that awful botox she had injected into her face seems to have worn off, and she looks much better as a result, kinda cute really, well as cute as plastic can get.
Karissa Shannon Wants Her Sex Tape Back
So the Spencer Pratt / Karissa Shannon / Sam Jones / Heidi Montag / Cookie Monster sex tape scandal continues.
This letter sent by Karissa’s lawyers would make it seem that Spencer Pratt does after all have a sex tape of her that he allegedly stole from her home. The playmate is pulling out the big guns to make sure Spencer returns the tape immediately.
Personally, I’m just hoping the tape does get released and that it’s of her doing a donkey show in Tijuana, one can dream…
Baker& Hostetler LLP
12100 Wilshire Boulevard
15th Floor
Los Angeles, CA 90025-7120
September 2, 2010
Mr. Spencer Pratt
Re: Karissa ShannonDear Mr. Pratt:
This firm has been retained by Karissa Shannon.
As you know, it had been reported in the press that you were attempting to publish, distribute, sell, license or otherwise exploit filmed footage of Ms. Shannon. According to press reports, you are no longer threatening to do that. This decision is wise. Were you to follow through with your initial threat, Ms. Shannon would file a lawsuit to enjoin the sale and/or distribution and seek monetary damages from you.
Now that the decision not to sell them material has been made, the next move is the return of the filmed footage to Ms. Shannon. You are aware that it is her property that was taken from her possession. If it is not promptly returned, you will have converted Ms. Shannon’s property for your own purpose, subjecting you to both compensatory and punitive damages. This footage contains private materials relating to numerous individuals, including Mr. Sam Jones III and Ms. Shannon. Each of these individual’s privacy rights are protected by the United States and California Constitution; each also has the right to control the publicity rights in his/her name, likeness and persona. Any sale, disclosure or reproduction of the filmed footage would constitute an unauthorized use of her name, likeness and persona and violation of those rights.
Please contact me immediately to arrange for the return of Ms. Shannon’s property.
To avoid prompt legal action you must immediately:
1. provide a written acknowledgement that you have ceased and permanently desisted from attempting to publish, distribute, sell, license or otherwise exploit the footage in any manner;
2. return all copies of the footage in any media, whatsoever, including but not limited to any and all videotape, film, compact discs, DVDs, computer floppy discs, electronic mail, and provide a written confirmation under penalty of perjury that you have done so; and
3. provide a list of persons/companies and a list of names, e-mail addresses, and other contact information of those persons and entities to whom you have shown the footage and/or given a copy of the footage.Sincerely,
Hayes F. MicheL
Just One Pic: Karissa Shannon boob flash
OK, so it’s not a voluntary boob flash, but that doesn’t make this act look any less sexy. I don’t even want to know who that lucky chap is because I’m totally concentrating on Karissa and trying to guess if her sex tape with Heidi Montag really exists or not. I know you are cursing me for that yellow star, but don’t worry. If your workplace permits you to drool over women’s bare nipples, then don’t waste time and immediately rush to Egotastic! for the uncensored version of the pic.
What the HELL, Heidi???
This is less about Heidi Montag retardedly exchanging her dogs with Spencer Pratt as part of their divorce terms… and more about her being FREAKING EVIL.
Our boners are very sad to see that Heidi Montag is the incarnation of The First Evil itself. Just look at the furrowed brow, the crazy stare, and the bandages on its face… that it gained (probably) during the murder and ingestion of small infants. While at her Costa Rican villa, she was staying away from the paparazzi … so that she could show her true face.
Fun fact: she was born using Hitler’s DNA and has a Swastika tattooed on her cooter.
Heidi Montag Wants to Be in Porn
Even though Heidi Montag says there’s no sex tape featuring her and Spencer Pratt, she still wants to have a sit-down with the President of the biggest porn company in the world. We think that this is an indication of the existence of said sex tape. You whore.
An email Heidi sent to Vivid Entertainment President Steve Hirsch became public. She says, “I don’t think Spencer has any footage of the two of us. I think hes (sic) making it up for publicity for a new reality show he wants me to do but I really can’t tell. He can be sneaky.”
But then Heidi writes to Hirsch, “I wanted to drop you a line and let you know where Im (sic) at with all of this. If you decide to come to Costa Rica I look forward to hearing your thoughts.”
Spencer is insisting that he has a catalog of porn videos featuring him and Heidi. Which makes him the smartest, albeit creepiest, fake celebrity in the world.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt reunite… I quit!
After stirring up one hell of a drama and fooling around with people for the past couple of months - a high-profile drama with ingredients such as divorce and a speculated Heidi Montag sex tape - Speidi is still inseparable. Heidi and Spencer were spotted together by TMZ on Sunday in Costa Rica where they are still spending time.
Further, according to People, Spencer says there’s a sex tape and Heidi says there is no sex tape that exists. Heidi feels that Spencer is doing it all for publicity but she’s still happy in his arms. The juice of the thing is that they are still very much together. Well, it’s perfectly fine with me but I refuse to buy anymore of their bullsh!t.
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Heidi Montag & Karissa Shannon’s Porn Tape
Spencer Pratt has allegedly found a girl-on-girl tape featuring Heidi Montag and Playboy Playmate Karissa Shannon. If this is true, then let us say that today might be the happiest day of our lives.
Spencer was at the Malibu house he once shared with Heidi… and he upon a camera with sexy, X-rated video of Heidi and Karissa. Of course, his greedy little mind went to selling it to the media – Vivid Entertainment to be exact.. And we thank him.
Karissa Shannon claims that a tape DOES exist, but she’s not convinced Spencer really has it. Karissa also says if the tape ever sees the light of day, she’ll sue the pants off him.
Sex tape drama in the future for the now-happily divorced couple? We can only hope!
Twitter took Dr. Frank Ryan’s life
So it turns out that Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon was under heavy influence when the fatal car accident took place and claimed his life on Monday - under heavy influence of micro-blogging site Twitter! Dr. Frank Ryan’s ex-girlfriend has revealed that he was sending a Twitter message about his border collie just before his fatal car accident, reports People.
According to People,
Dr. Frank Ryan, plastic surgeon to Heidi Montag and other celebrities, was sending a Twitter message about his border collie just before his fatal car accident, his ex-girlfriend tells PEOPLE. “He lived up in Malibu on a tiny street and he was texting while driving and he accidentally went over the cliff,” Charmaine Blake says. Blake, a celebrity publicist, says Ryan’s family was told by investigators that the Tweeting caused the wreck on Monday. The dog, whose name is Jill – Blake’s middle name – was in the car at the time of the crash and survived injuries to the head, eye and paw. The California Highway Patrol confirms Ryan was texting before the crash, but investigators have not officially determined the cause of the accident. “It is one of the elements that we are investigating,” CHP Officer Steven Reid says.
Dr. Frank Ryan Dies in Car Crash
Dr. Frank Ryan, the sole man responsible for the plastic surgery that resulted in a more Barbie-like Heidi Montag, was killed in a car crash. Dr. Ryan’s Jeep went over the side of Pacific Coast Highway yesterday at around 4:30 PM. The Jeep landed on rocks and lifeguards initially tried to help Ryan, to no avail. He was basically gone when they arrived on the scene.
Ryan was trapped in the vehicle and had major head injuries. The Ventura County Fire Department tried hoisting Ryan using a helicopter, but the attempt was called off since there was nothing they could do.
Minutes before the crash, Ryan Tweeted, “After 25 years of driving by, I finally hiked to the top of the giant sand dune on the pch west of Malibu. Much harder than it looks! Whew!”
Ryan’s last Tweet before he died, “Border collie jill surveying the view from atop the sand dune.” Ryan posted the picture below with his Tweet. Law enforcement tells us the dog was injured but survived.
Ryan’s dog, Jill, was found in the ocean and seriously injured. She was taken to a local veterinary hospital and will probably be okay.
Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon dies in car crash
Here’s a bad news for the fans of Heidi Montag and the worshippers of her plastic body. The man who made Heidi Montag - plastic surgeon Dr. Frank Ryan - has died in a fatal car crash on Monday (16Aug10). As expected, Heidi is quite shocked and has been busy posting a string of messages on her Twitter account for the past two hours,
I am devastated to hear the news of Dr. Frank Ryan’s death. He was the most amazing person I have ever known. He was an angel and changed my life and the lives of everyone he met. He was the most brilliant talented surgeon who will ever exist. Dr. Frank Ryan changed the world. My thoughts and prayers go out to his mother, family, friends, and anyone who was ever blessed enough to meet him. He is in a better place. FYI Dr. Ryan never drank, never smoked, he’s never done drugs this was something everyone knows about him. He was always on call 24/7.
Heidi and Spencer – FINALLY Divorcing
Oh… so this isn’t some transparent act to get attention? Well these two had US going, that’s for sure. Fifteen months after saying “I do,” reality TV stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are headed for divorce. Heidi was the one who filed for divorce Friday in Santa Monica, Calif., citing irreconcilable differences.
Representatives for Montag and Pratt did not immediately respond to requests for comment.
Montag began dating the 26-year-old Pratt while filming MTV’s reality show The Hills. The couple’s April 2009 wedding was featured on the show. Seeing that their entire relationship revolved around an idiotic excuse for a reality show – did they not see this coming?
Court documents show the two were legally married May 25, 2009, and separated on their one-year anniversary. The media-hungry pair published a book together last year: “How to Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press, and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture.”
Montag filed for a legal separation on June 8, which some dismissed as a publicity stunt (like us) since they were still seen together and seemed to be trying to play up their “depression.”
In the divorce filing, she asked the court to deny spousal support to Flesh Beard.
Heidi and Douchebag: Still Married
It looks like the fake divorce that no one cared about didn’t stick, because Heidi Boobs and Spencer Douchebag were seen boarding a private plane together. The reason for the fivorce (fake + divorce) was because of Heidi’s reality show in the works. However, now they’ve been seen hiding out together … bringing some truth to the rumors that their divorce was a publicity stunt for Heidi’s reality show that she’s now pulled out of.
is dissolved… for the good of it
Spencer Pratt has finally confessed that Heidi Montag’s fake boobs and his own ambition for fame are two different things. In another words, Spencer and Heidi are two different entities, moving ahead on their own preferred paths. And the result of this difference of opinion is a blessing in disguise for the world - the demise of Speidi!
People quotes the one half of the dissolved Speidi as saying,
We love each other but I’m a famewhore and I’ll never grow out of it. [Heidi] knows that and doesn’t want that. I want every kind of press. She believes in bad press. There’s no way my love for fame and her love for puppies will ever work out successfully. She just wants to hike and hang out and be calmer.
Ashton Kutcher shows mirror to Heidi Montag, too!
We all remember how Heidi Montag fired her guns last month and shot an audition tape of herself in action to lure Michael Bay into signing her on for Transformers 3. Well, either Michael was not that dumb or Heidi was not that lucky, because it didn’t happen the way Heidi wanted it to happen. However, Heidi’s lame act cannot be tagged totally fruitless because at least there’s one man who is enjoying the benefits of that audition tape - George Lopez. He’s been convincing guests on his show to recreate that audition on Lopez Tonight. Sir Ben Kingsley obliged the very same week and now George has made Ashton Kutcher do it for him. I guess George should introduce a regular segment into his show where his guests kick Heidi’s a$$ by mocking her in their own special style. I bet it’d prove a nice strategy to tweak the TRP because, who doesn’t want to make fun of Heidi Montag?!
Best moment: Totally hilarious!
Heidi Montag files for separation from Spencer Pratt
Heidi Montag has finally decided to make her split from husband Spencer Pratt official, or at least make it look official. Heidi has reportedly filed for legal separation from Spencer at a Santa Monica courthouse today. However, there’s a catch to this whole episode and as expected from them, the catch outweighs the actual separation episode.
According to People,
The reality star, 23, filed for legal separation from husband Spencer Pratt at a Santa Monica courthouse on Tuesday, listing irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split. But Montag did not file divorce papers. According to reports, filing for legal separation means the reality star’s earnings will become her separate property beginning on the date of separation, which she lists as June 8. The Hills star’s papers do not list a lawyer.
Sir Ben Kingsley shows mirror to Heidi Montag
We all saw the audition tape that Heidi Montag made last week for Michael Bay to replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3, but it seems Michael is too busy at the moment. Anyway, Heidi can call herself lucky unlucky lucky because she still managed to get her work reviewed by a great person - Sir Ben Kingsley, who retorted by making his own video and sharing it with George Lopez on Lopez Tonight.
I’m not trying to prove anything here, but when your actions are dumb enough to attract a satirical attack from someone like Sir Ben Kingsley, then you seriously need to reevaluate yourself or pack your bags. Anyway, Heidi is too dumb to grasp this master stroke. Maybe she can understand the logical conclusion presented by George Lopez (check at 0:57) in plain language.
Best moment: 1:20 onwards.
Heidi Montag fires her guns
This has to be the most ridiculous video clip ever to hit YouTube. I’m not sure who uploaded it and why, but it shows the lamest Hollywood couple in action once again. I’m talking about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aka Speidi. Sigh... there’s nothing more I want to talk about this video. Hit the play button at your own risk. Oh, I forgot the most important part. She’s wearing a black bra (clearly visible at 0:21).
Best moment: NA.
Heidi Montag shows off her licking skills
Here’s Heidi Montag showing off her special talents in Malibu as she licks a mouthful and grabs on to another handful. I’m completely clueless what you people will deduce from these pics, but these alluring shots have convinced me that she can still move her jaw muscles after her record breaking plastic adventure. OMG! I totally love that smile of contentment!! Scope out the gallery after the jump.
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Heidi Montag calls cops on her mother, calls her “psychotic”
It’s official. Heidi Montag and her golden-pubes-for a beard douche of a hubby, Spencer have completely gone mad. They now demand restraining orders on anyone who speaks badly of Heidi’s 101 plastic surgeries, including her own mother. Who committed the ultimate crime by showing up to their doorstep uninvited and therefore, had to be arrested. At this point, we’re surprised Spencer didn’t take matters into his own hands, and by that we mean gun her down right their on his doorstep and call it a significant win on the war on terror. And then do a victory walk around the block holding the American flag.
Via FoxNews:
Still reeling from her mother’s criticism of her intense plastic surgery makeover, Heidi Montag called police on her mother Thursday, claiming she was “psychotic” when she refused to leave.
According to a report from TMZ, police arrived at Montag’s home with husband Spencer Pratt after the couple called them in the morning. Montag told TMZ, “My mom [Darlene Egelhoff] just showed up the house unannounced … and after what she did to me on national TV, I have no desire to see her.”
Montag’s mother told her on a recent episode of “The Hills” that she did not like her new look after she underwent more than 10 plastic surgery procedures, including breast implants, an eyebrow lift and a back scoop, in one day.” Montag’s husband said Egelhoff “tried to rape [Heidi] emotionally” with the comments.
“Her showing up is completely out of line and psychotic,” Montag told TMZ. “I’m getting a restraining order against her.”
Egelhoff later left the property after speaking with police. No arrests were made.
PS: Pics are from their visit to camp Pendelton where we’re assuming Pratt was offering tips on how best to utilize plastic polymers in the Afghanistan war. “See, you shoot it out of a cannon, and boom, those savages won’t know what hit them. Heidi, baby, come here, it’s demo time!”
Heidi Montag calls cops on her mother, calles her “psychotic”
It’s official. Heidi Montag and her golden-pubes-for a beard douche of a hubby, Spencer have completely gone mad. They now demand restraining orders on anyone who speaks badly of Heidi’s 101 plastic surgeries, including her own mother. Who committed the ultimate crime by showing up to their doorstep uninvited and therefore, had to be arrested. At this point, we’re surprised Spencer didn’t take matters into his own hands, and by that we mean gun her down right their on his doorstep and call it a significant win on the war on terror. And then do a victory walk around the block holding the American flag.
Via FoxNews:
Still reeling from her mother’s criticism of her intense plastic surgery makeover, Heidi Montag called police on her mother Thursday, claiming she was “psychotic” when she refused to leave.
According to a report from TMZ, police arrived at Montag’s home with husband Spencer Pratt after the couple called them in the morning. Montag told TMZ, “My mom [Darlene Egelhoff] just showed up the house unannounced … and after what she did to me on national TV, I have no desire to see her.”
Montag’s mother told her on a recent episode of “The Hills” that she did not like her new look after she underwent more than 10 plastic surgery procedures, including breast implants, an eyebrow lift and a back scoop, in one day.” Montag’s husband said Egelhoff “tried to rape [Heidi] emotionally” with the comments.
“Her showing up is completely out of line and psychotic,” Montag told TMZ. “I’m getting a restraining order against her.”
Egelhoff later left the property after speaking with police. No arrests were made.
PS: Pics are from their visit to camp Pendelton where we’re assuming Pratt was offering tips on how best to utilize plastic polymers in the Afghanistan war. “See, you shoot it out of a cannon, and boom, those savages won’t know what hit them. Heidi, baby, come here, it’s demo time!”
Heidi Montag to get even bigger boobs
Los Angeles, CA, United States (AHN) – It seems fame-obsessed Heidi Montag is looking to score another round of tabloid covers. The reality star has reportedly signed up for yet another round of plastic surgery, much to everyone’s disbelief.
Life & Style is reporting that pseudo-husband Spencer Pratt has revealed to the magazine that Heidi plans to go under the knife again.
“If it were up to Heidi, her plastic surgeon would be living with us in the guest house,” Spencer Pratt to Life & Style.
Pratt also goes on to say that she would like to increase the size of her breast implants from 700 cc’s to 800 cc’s.
“She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for the new TV show she and Spencer have been pitching to cable networks E! and Oxygen,” an insider says.
Rumor has it that Heidi may head to Europe to have the surgery completed. Spencer also claims that he is trying to keep her away from her plastic surgeon, saying, “I try to stop her. She wants her doctor to come over once a week to plump up her lips. I keep telling her that they’re big enough and that she doesn’t need it.”
According to Spencer, it was a remark from Ryan Seacrest during a trip to his Los Angeles radio station on April 5 that incited the need for another round of surgery.
“When Heidi entered the studio, Ryan told her that her breasts didn’t look that big to him,” said Spencer. Seacrest’s comment was meant as a compliment, but Heidi seemed to take it another way.
“She was taken aback,” Spencer says. “She came home in shock.” The incident only convinced her that her breasts still aren’t big enough.
Kristin Cavallari is a great hostess
Seen that she no longer gets paid by MTV to bang Audrina Patridge’s exes, Kristin Cavallari took a page out of Heidi Montag’s “Best Ways To Use Wax Jugs As Money Source…And Other Liberal Ideas” manual and hosted the same party that she did just two weeks ago at the Liquid Pool in Las Vegas. Which means, a fight between these two is now inevitable and imminent. Having said that, our money’s already on the mannequin and her deadly jubblies (what, has everyone already forgotten the fembots with the machine-gun boobs in Austin Powers?). Because we love America and the American ideal. Right Spencer? Now Kristin, you do know she has a self-destruct button in the back…
AnnaLynne McCord knows the route to a man’s heart
AnnaLynne McCord spent the entire weekend in a bikini in Hermosa beach and before you point out the obvious, i.e she was striking suggestive poses for the paparazzi racket she summoned, let’s assure you that was not the case. AnnaLynne was just practicing her role as Barbie’s side-kick in Heidi Montag’s new screenplay “The Boob-orne Identity” in which she is supposed to be thwarting terrorists by bombing them with her ass. Right after Heidi glamors them with her wax boobs. Take that Robert Ludlum and your stupid action novels!
PS: We’re including a picture of AnnaLynne making out with her sister at the end of their volleyball game. And yes, we’re pretty sure Heidi scripted that one as well. Damn, this one’s pure raw talent.
Chaz Bono steps out with new girlfriend after sex-change operation
Cher’s “son” Chaz Bono, 41, attended the 21st Annual GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Media Awards in California this weekend, proudly showing off his new girlfriend Jennifer Elia and look, we’re happy for the guy. But if you’re going to go through all that trouble and pain to become the man you always knew you were, wouldn’t you want to come out the other end of it looking like George Clooney or something instead of Chris Farley? Unless the new girlfriend finds a triple chin and a bypass really sexy. Somewhere in L.A Cher and Heidi Montag are holding hands as we speak crying for the lost opportunity.
Heidi Montag II flaunts her synthetic boobs – Part II
Here’s Heidi Montag II aka the Plastic Lady flaunting her synthetic assets and trying her best to bridge the gap between fake and original. You know, I really miss the original Heidi. Though she was retarded beyond redemption, she still was all natural. Anyway, let’s refrain from badmouthing and appreciate the bright side - I mean, her fake boobs! Hit the jump for the gallery.
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Heidi Montag is heat-resistant
Heidi Montag hosted the new opening of Liquid in Las Vegas on Saturday and bless her, we now know it is safe to take our blow-up dolls out of the basement put them in a bikini, take them to the beach or the pool and have meaningful conversations with them over pina coladas without the fear of melted PVC all over our bodies. Thank you for paving the way, Heidi.
If all else fails, well, Jennifer Aniston still has her legs
Jennifer Aniston was pictured arriving on the set of her new movie Just Go With It yesterday, and look, we all know that these days she’s to box office what poison is to rats, but at least she has an incredible set of legs to look at when drowning her sorrow in gin. And as far as the movie goes, the producers had the good sense to cast Heidi Montag in it, so we’re sure she’s going to save the movie from tanking. 3D mega-tits as floaties anyone?
