Kendra Wilkinson is in dire need of Playboy Yoda and his freeze-dried balls to bring back the sexy.
Helena Christensen is Sarah Palin with long legs but without the snowmobile, the shotgun and the bag of coke.
Yes, Pippa Middleton flashed her panties. We ascertained that through an incredibly shitty resolution. God Save The Queen!
Busy Phillips did the exact same thing.
Sofia Vergara is promoting her new clothing line in a way that could only be described as marketing magic.
Our favorite orange ewok doing what she does best. Fall on her ass.
You had your chance Kris Humphries, you had your chance.
Here’s 41-year old ex-supermodel Helena Christensen stretching her calves in the buff and damn are we impressed with Reebok EasyTone trainer’s ability to keep a woman above 35 in great shape. Which is why we’re definitely getting these for the two supermodels we have waiting for us at home. Being chained on a pole in our basement is starting to turn some of their parts doughy. Plus, the neighbor keeps giving them bigger portions despite are strict instructions.
GQ Russia had a spectacular idea about how to deal with the recession hitting their frozen tundras and still get their comrades’ woodpecker ready for drilling. Put a semi-current photo of three topless aging supermodels, Helena Christensen, Claudia Schiffer and Eva Herzigova as your cover and then fill your pages with topless pictures of them from 20 years ago. Hey, why not? Who said being current and factual even matters when we’re talking about staring at breasts? And on that note, if you’ll excuse us, we’re getting ready to go into our time machine and visit Rachel Welch on the set of One Million Years B.C. See, we’ve been dying to ask her out on a date since 1970.
