Archive for the "Howard Stern" Category

Jenny McCarthy vs. Jim Carrey: Mad Mom Edition!

Jenny McCarthy called Jim Carrey out Monday on Howard Stern’s radio show (which seems like an odd place to talk parenting). Jenny made it clear that Jim doesn’t see her autistic son nearly enough,

“I’ve tried to ask (Jim) numerous times (to see Evan), because he still asks. As a mother, you just hope when you have a relationship with someone, it has nothing to do with the child when you break up. I tell Evan that someday you’ll cross paths, meet again…(but) it’s hard. He’s been in therapy. It’s a process, he’s working on it.” McCarthy said on Howard Stern’s radio show.

Well, Jim Carrey has responded to her comments with his own little statement, “I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan’s well being. It’s unfortunate that Evan’s privacy is not being considered. I love Evan very much and will miss him always.”

So, it sounds like Carrey thinks not seeing Evan at all is the best thing to do, and he might be right. It might make it harder on Evan if Carrey went in and out of his life. Plus McCarthy is already dating a new man now (Brian Urlacher) having three different men in his life would be pretty tough on the kid.

Bottom line: This stuff should be kept private. McCarthy shouldn’t be discussing it with Howard Stern. Jenny McCarthy vs. Jim Carrey: Mad Mom Edition! Jenny McCarthy vs. Jim Carrey: Mad Mom Edition! Jenny McCarthy vs. Jim Carrey: Mad Mom Edition!


Howard Stern on Britney Spears

Howard Stern is the new judge for America’s Got Talent (which airs this Monday on NBC) and he is trying his best to start a war between AGT and The X Factor. Stern was asked how he felt about the decision to bring Britney Spears on as a new judge for X Factor and he didn’t hold back,

“Well, I think it’s a wonderful decision. Britney still thinks the earth is flat. I don’t anticipate great opinions from her. I think she’s gonna sit there like J-Lo, ‘Oh, you’re wonderful, you’re terrific. You think I can get a perfume endorsement out of this?’“ Stern said.

It doesn’t sound like he exactly approves on the decision. Of course, maybe he is just jealous that The X Factor didn’t reach out to him. We all know America’s Got Talent is a “C-Lister” on the America talent shows. However, Stern does admit that he will watch X Factor just to see how much of a train wreck Britney is.

Which show are you looking forward to the most? America’s Got Talent or X Factor? Howard Stern on Britney Spears Howard Stern on Britney Spears Howard Stern on Britney Spears


Filmmaker Brett Ratner resigns after shocking interview with Howard Stern

Oscar producer Brett Ratner, you know, the guy who likes to eat shrimp and masturbate at the same time according to Olivia Munn, apparently had a really, really bad week.

First he brought upon him the fury of the gay mafia by saying at a Q&A last Friday that “rehearsal is for fags”. Then he went on Howard Stern and in 90 seconds managed to talk about his mutant sperm count (“How lucky I am that I never got a girl pregnant. It’s crazy!”), the size of his testicles (“I have HUGE balls…”), his talent for performing oral sex on Lindsay Lohan (“I’m probably the best in the world…[girls] cry”), the possibility that HPV causes throat cancer (“If that’s true, I’m a dead man.”) and how he sends women to his doctor to be checked for sexually-transmitted diseases, “before I go all the way.”

Obviously the gay mafia won, and Ratner resigned as a producer of the 84th Annual Academy Awards on Tuesday.

In his public apology, Ratner explained his reasons for standing down: “Being asked to help put on the Oscar show was the proudest moment of my career. But as painful as this may be for me, it would be worse if my association with the show were to be a distraction from the Academy and the high ideals it represents,” he wrote in a letter published by

And just in case you missed the story about his love of the crustaceans and their importance in getting an erection, here’s an excerpt from Olivia Munn’s book:

“Wait,” he begged.
Slowly, like in a bad horror movie, I turned around once more. And I remember first noticing him wearing an Oxford shirt and holding a fistful of cocktail sauce-smothered shrimp. He popped one down his throat and then another, the red sauce collecting like so much baby’s blood at the corner of his smirking mouth before dribbling down his front and settling as glistening stains on his shirt.
[…] This A-List schmuck then has the nerve to say: “You have such an interesting look– what ethnicity are you?”
And this is where things crossed over from merely disturbing to downright horrific–that was the exact moment I noticed what was either a tiny gnarled doggie toy or this adult man’s penis being stroked by his own stubby hand.
He was masturbating. Right there. With shrimp in one hand. And me standing in front of him. Masturbating. Mastur-bating. I’m not even kidding.
And the dude was going for it, too, furiously pulling at the tragic stub. Before I could even begin to make sense of the whole deal, he was moaning, moaning and then–fire hose. On steroids. The Mt. Saint Helens of man-juice.


Denise Richards Had a Lesbian Experience With an Unnamed Celebrity

Denise Richards has written a book called “The Real Girl Next Door” that came out stla Tuesday, well by written I mean she put her name on the cover. So seeing how she is a glorified writer now, that means she must do that whole publicity tour thing, which is why today she was at the the Sirius Radio Station in New York City to be on the Howard Stern show. Where she played the always awesome “Sexy Lesbian Stuff” card from the stack of cards her publicist gave her.

Via The Huffington Post:

While an obviously piqued Stern attempts to dig out the identity details – “I’m going to name everyone in Hollywood!” — Richards remains coy, saying only that “You would know who she is.”
“I just met her through friends and work and stuff… I was just curious. We were curious,” she tells Stern.
“She was a girly-girl. She’s beautiful.”

Well, yeah… Neve Campbell in Wild Things. We all saw it happen. Wait… “celebrity?” Oh right, well in that case I’m going to go with Jenna Jameson, because I’m sure there aren’t a whole lot of people (men or woman) that haven’t railed her by now. I gather this information both from her former profession and from reading her book, “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star”, where she names everyone she has porked. In fact that book requires a forklift to get out of the bookstore because it lists them all.

Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio Denise Richards Hits Sirius Radio

Charlie Sheen Reveals His Goddess Sleeping Arrangement

Charlie is developing a new show… “Two Hos and a WINNER” (a show we would actually watch).

Charlie Sheen’s media blitz continues, and early this morning (Tuesday) he spoke with Howard Stern about his “goddesses,” the two live-in girlfriends who help him care for his young sons. Sheen revealed that Natty (a bikini model) and Rach (formerly known as Bree Olson, her porn star name), sleep in separate beds in the same room – and he gets to pick which bed he sleeps in.

ROBIN QUIVERS: But how do they work it? Do they sleep in the same bed?
HOWARD STERN: Yeah, are all three of you in the bed together?
CHARLIE SHEEN: No because we are adults and we realize that three in a bed is like, we are all not seven.
HOWARD STERN: So everybody gets their own bed?
CHARLIE SHEEN: We have two beds in the bedroom and it is a 2-1 switch off. ‘A 2-1 switch off,’ listen to me.
HOWARD STERN: This is unbelievable. The two of them stay in the same bed and you are in the bed next to them?
CHARLIE SHEEN: No they will take a separate bed and then I have to choose.
ROBIN QUIVERS: Oh, so you come in and choose which bed you want to sleep in.
HOWARD STERN: You live like a king, my friend.
CHARLIE SHEEN: Why the hell shouldn’t I, Howard?
HOWARD STERN: Why not? You are special, right?
CHARLIE SHEEN: Yes I am, just like you. We are special.

When asked whether the two women have sex with each other, Sheen replied, “Well, you would have to ask them.”

The only question we now need the answer to is how long will it be before one of his “goddesses­” calls 911?


Ellen DeGeneres Calls it Quits

Ellen DeGeneres only served as a judge for American Idol one season and… she is finally out. Ellen DeGeneres is leaving American Idol, Fox confirmed in a statement Thursday night.

“A couple months ago, I let FOX and the American Idol producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me,” DeGeneres says in the statement.

“I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next.”

DeGeneres replaced Paula Abdul as judge for the show’s ninth season, sitting at the table with Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Kara DioGuardi.

“It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for,” the star continues.

“I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on Idol and I am very grateful for the year I had. I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

“I loved Ellen’s passion for the artists and her nurturing skills,” Idol creator and executive producer Simon Fuller says in the statement. “She brought honesty and optimism to our judging panel and I will miss her greatly.”

Among the many names mentioned as possible Cowell replacements for the show: Bret Michaels, Elton John, Jessica Simpson, Howard Stern and others.


Elections Complicate Anna Nicole Smith Trial

The Howard K. Stern trial (the trial in which Howard Stern and others are accused of instigating Anna Nicole Smith’s drug addiction) is starting to see some complications. The prosecutors want the judge to prohibit the defense lawyers from telling the jury that the two main legal powers involved in the prosecution are running for election.

The D.A. does not want to “distract the jury into making their determination based on whether they like or dislike the candidates, or based on some perceived motivation for the prosecution.”

Attorney General Jerry Brown is running for Governor of California. L.A. County District Attorney Steve Cooley, whose office is prosecuting the case, is running for Attorney General. Both of these men do not want to color either the case or the election and cause either legal event to be unfair

The D.A.’s motion asks the judge to exclude questions or arguments designed to show “the investigation was somehow motivated by these elections rather than the desire to determine whether crimes had been committed.”

Ellyn Garafalo, the lawyer for defendant Dr. Sandeep Kapoor, says, “The prosecution seems to be acutely sensitive to allegations that have been swirling in the press for months — that the prosecution is politically motivated.”


Michelle Bombshell McGee to box porn star


Michelle “Bombshell” McGee has found another way to keep her 15 minutes of  whore fame going (we were going to say “15 minutes of shame”, but that’s not applicable to this one), and earn some more cash in the process. McGee will be boxing porn star Gina Lynn today (May 7). The fight will be sponsored by as a “celebrity boxing match” called Celebrity Boxing 19. The event will be held at Pennant East in Bellmawr, New Jersey.

McGee has been training at Undisputed Gym in San Diego to prepare for her upcoming boxing match…not counting the cardio workout she’s been getting at her regular job as a stripper at the Las Vegas strip joint Deja Vu (she uses German heavy metal like “Feuer frei!” by Rammstein to get her in the mood for leg spreading).

This week McGee has been on radio shows to promote the match including the Howard Stern Show. Below are some excerpts from the classy interview:

On her opponent:

“If she pops my implants, I’m going to be pissed.”

On the first time Jesse James banged her:

“He was going to show me around and show me some stuff.”  “On the couch…it was hot. Yeah. It wasn’t excellent. It was fun…I think I got bent over the coffin couch.Michelle said Jesse’s penis was “very average” but his hands were strong: “He literally ripped [my leggings] off because they’re spandex…ripped them right off.”

On why Sandra Bullock and her 9 dogs are to blame:
Michelle refused to say whether or not Jesse used condoms when he was with her, but did reveal that he was able to have sex with her 4 times a night–twice a week. When she’d ask about Sandra he’d brush it off: “He was always, ‘I can’t talk about it. Shh.’” Michelle said she felt for Sandra Bullock (”I feel bad for her. I do.”) but thought she should share the blame: “They slept with 9 dogs in the bed…she liked to sleep with all the dogs in the bed.”

On Jesse James being a cheapskate:

“He’s kinda hard to get stuff out of, but when he opens up, he’s a real funny guy.” Michelle said she’d been in it for Jesse, not what he could give her: “He gave me a t-shirt once…it had wolves on it.” He never even took her out to eat: “I didn’t even get a slice of pizza.”

On being a white supremacist and a fine lady:

“It was just something I did. Young, stupid, naive…started running with a bad group of kids, got into stupid stuff. Things I regret.” Howard wondered what led her to embraced ‘white supremacist’ ideas, so Michelle clarified: “No, not very white supremacist. No. No, more like white pride stuff.”
Howard also asked about the ‘cunt’ tattoo on her thumb, so Michelle clarified: “It says ‘evil cunt.’ I’m absolutely an evil cunt.”


Courtney Love is great in the sack because she’s ugly


Courtney Love says she’s good in bed because she’s unattractive. After claiming on “The Howard Stern Show” she had an affair with Gavin Rossdale after he married No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani, Love tells music journalist Toure she’s a love goddess “because I was never pretty. Pretty girls just lie there. Us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try a lot harder. That’s why pretty girls never threaten me — it’s like, yeah, you want to take me on? Take me on. Go for it.” Toure interviewed Love for Fuse’s “On the Record” show.

Wow, did Courtney Love just make sense there? Excuse us for a minute while we replenish the cartons of spam for our End of The World bunker (we’re sharing it with Tom Cruise and his mountain stacks of Guys N’Bondage publications) because it’s apocalypse time. Ok, we’re back. No, you know, she’s absolutely right, it’s like a blind guy whose smell sense becomes so strong he can smell a guy taking a dump in the building across from his. Now, if you’ll excuse us again, we have to prep for the lobotomy that will make us forget all about Courtney Love’s wonder-woman of a vagina as it assaults a guy and shows him just exactly how much pleasure all that ugly can bring.


Tila Tequila does the Howard Stern show…or more like its red sofa

RS-04-13-10---tila-tequila---ass-shot-1Tila Tequila is apparently still alive and still trying to harvest this world’s attention, bottle it up and drink it on a daily basis as some sort of leprechaun eternity serum. Anyway, taking time from her busy schedule of fabricating stories Stephen King would die to get his hands on and twittering them to her elvish followers, Tila Tequila, now “Hurrican Tequila” as she wants everyone to call her visited the Howard Stern show and left her imprint on the red velvet sofa. No seriously. It was green and creamy.

When Howard Stern asked Tila is she was pregnant, she said had a miscarriage and that she got pregnant in the first place by visiting a sperm bank. She then asked that Howard Stern drop the subject and moved on to less personal matters. Like her first lesbian experience. At age 8. Yeah, can’t get any classier than this. We’re starting to think Tila Tequila is the reincarnation of Grace Kelly…or at the very least Princess Diana.


Ryan Phillippe: Reese & I Are Great Friends & Great Co-Parents

Since the much publicized 2006 split from ex-wife Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Phillippe has kept a low profile. The Crash star quietly dated Abbie Cornish since around the time of the split, and has often been seen as the doting father, spending quality time with his two children Ava, 10, and Deacon, 6, with Witherspoon.

Now, after he and Cornish have ended their four-year relationship, Phillippe has revealed to Howard Stern on his Sirius XM radio show, that he feels he has been treated badly by the media concerning his split with Reese, reports US Weekly. The actor said, "I'm tired of getting s*** on. I don't feel like I deserve it. Things happen! How many people have you broken up with over your life?"


Jaime Wins Prize for Being Tiger’s Best Mount


The Howard Stern Show awarded Jaime Jungers the Miss Tiger Woods award for being the best whore he mounted. She was in competition with Loredana Jolie this morning on Howard Stern’s radio show for the title; there were many, many more mistresses but our best guess is that they actually felt shame so they didn’t show up to compete. The goal of the contest was simple; whichever skank could describe Tiger Woods’ penis with the most detail would be declared the winner.

After a hard morning’s work of thinking about Tiger Woods’ peeper, Jaime was given a very large check for $75,000 sponsored by Not a bad reward for sleeping with a billionaire, breaking up a celebrity couple and looking like a prostitute. Way to take it on all fours, tiger!


Kim K’s Father Didn’t Approve of Them Dating Black Guys After OJ

Howard Stern had an interview with Kim and Khloe Kardashian. During the show, Howard asked them why they are so obsessed with dating black men and seem desperate to be apart of the black community. The girls also gave details about how their father was not supportive of them dating outside of their race after representing OJ Simpson.

Khloe Goes Into Details about her marriage to Lamar and what parts of her pre-nup are false:

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Oprah To Rosie O’Donnell: Ho Sit Down & Stop Calling Me and Gayle Gay


Oprah is fed up with Rosie O’Donnell and her gay rumors geared at her and Gayle.  An insider says that Oprah has sent Rosie a final warning and it ain’t nice.

While promoting her new satellite radio show on the Howard Stern show late last month, Rosie said that she can’t say for sure that Oprah and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but she thinks they are the emotional equivalent of a gay couple. She says that the road trip the two took for Oprah’s show is as gay as it gets.

When Oprah got wind of this, she immediately sent out a warning message to Rosie.


Rosie O’Donnell proves why circus bears make lousy lovers


Have you heard about the story recently about a skating Russian bear that got a little antsy and decided to dismember its trainer….while wearing skates? These photos of Rosie O’Donnell, no relation to said bear, reminds us of that story. Perhaps Rosie was hungry, perhaps she was angered by the sun reflections on the water, or perhaps she was hungry, either way, this is not the way you want to go.

On a related note, Rosie showed just how delusional she is on The Howard Stern show when she reported a supposed sexual come-on from Angelina Jolie:

“She gave me her phone number…. We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that,” she told Howard. “There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through,” she said. ”I was a little afraid of her. She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

Um, yea.


Denise Richards and her tale of 8 boobs


Denise Richards is currently sporting her fourth pair of breasts, after surgeons botched two boob jobs.
The former Bond Girl confesses she went under the knife for the first time when she was 19, in a bid to boost her profile in Hollywood.
She tells U.S. radio host Howard Stern, “I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done. I was flat as a board, and I thought, ‘Whoa, you can just buy them?’ and stupidly had them done!”
The surgery didn’t quite turn out as the actress had hoped, and her new breasts were “way too big for my body”, so Richards returned to the operating room.
But boob job number two was just as bad: “The next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not good - they were a (size) D!”
It took a third surgery to give Richards the bust she now loves - but she has strong advice for girls who are unhappy with their looks: “I was young and should have researched better. You know, it was a big mistake. Young girls, don’t do it!”

Do it only when you’re in your mid-30’s and movie roles are as frequent as the number of strip joints in the Sahara…then they’ll actually help in getting you your own reality show…in which you’ll get to talk about those very same boobs and the men that touched them…amongst other interesting things…