The big bad wrestler and sometimes “actor” has filed for divorce. John is divorcing his wife of three years, Liz Huberdeau. Cena filed for the divorce in Florida, claiming that the marriage is, “irretrievably broken.” Whatever the hell that means.
Cena is going to have a battle in court because Liz has already hired a popular Miami attorney, Raymond Rafool. This is the same attorney who helped Linda Hogan empty the ripped pockets of Hulk Hogan. However, Raymond might have a tougher battle this time because Liz signed a pre-nup in 2009.
“Although it is indeed unfortunate that John Cena decided to divorce his high school sweetheart Liz Cena; particularly, after they have come so far in their lives and in his career together, Liz will and really has no choice but to pursue all of her rights and entitlements.” Liz’ lawyer said in a statement.
Ah, yeah. The ol’ high school sweetheart relationship! Those never seem to work out.
Apparently Hulk Hogan has a sex tape that is being shopped around to a major porn studio. TMZ claims they have seen some of this tape already and say you can see Hogan getting undressed while an unidentified brunette sits on the bed. The woman is not his ex-wife or his current wife. TMZ reports that in the clip he pulls off his shirt and brags to the woman, “I started to work out again.” He then runs his hands through his hair like he always does. And apparently the Hulk has a nice thong-shaped tan line.
Gross! Who would want to see this tape? And are we sure that it wasn’t his daughter on the bed? Don’t you remember those weird pictures of him rubbing her ass by the pool? (pictures below.) That was extremely creepy; just imagine how creepy a sex tape would be. I’d rather see Joan Rivers masturbating with a cucumber than a Hulk Hogan sex tape.
We don’t know if anyone has made an offer for the tape, yet. But we are sure it’ll come out eventually…sadly.
Happy Thursday, my fellow fixers, which is also 1-12-12. Weird date, don’t you think? That’s probably why we’ve had so many completely insane breaking news stories today! And that’s why I’m bringing them all to you in one single post! So, without further ado, here’s Thursday’s Completely Insane Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like! If you read yesterday’s post, you probably noticed that there was quite a bit of Baby Blue Ivy news. Well, I’ve got some for you today, too! Just… not as much. First off, the investigation from The Health Department has officially been closed as of this morning. Hmph, it’s amazing how powerful some people’s checkbook’s are, isn’t it? With the craziness that went on in that hospital, that investigation should have lasted a little longer than twenty-four hours. A bit fishy, if you ask me. And, I’ve also got a special picture treat for you. The first pics of been released! Of Beyonce’s room… Sorry, that was mean. Rest assured, though, The Daily Fix will definitely be bringing the million dollar Blue Ivy pics to you as soon as the right buyer comes along for Jay-Z and Beyonce. But, I do have the first pics of the swanky, elegant, and absolutely disgusting birthing room for you. Okay, if you’ve ever had a baby, you know that you don’t give a flying fuck how nice the artwork on the walls are or how soft the couch is. You’re screaming and sweating and swearing your ass off, not going, ‘Oh, my, I’m so glad we invested over a million dollars in this room. Didn’t it turn out just beautiful?’ No, and I’m pretty friggin’ positive that Beyonce must be having some buyer’s remorse over paying so much for that room that probably just got covered in all types of bodily fluids. Well, maybe she’s not, but I sure would be. Stupid, just stupid! And moving on — Heather Locklear has been admitted to the ER for a combination of drugs and alcohol. Her sister called 911 at 2:05 pm PST when she feared Heather was in danger. This isn’t the first time Locklear has had an ambulance called. Her doctor once called 911, fearful that she had tried to kill herself by taking too many RX pills. That’s really all of the info I have on it right now, but I’m sure you join me in wishing Heather a speedy recovery… and better judgment! Okay, so Rihanna has kind of pissed me off. Instead of attending the People’s Choice Awards, in which she won the award for Best R&B Singer, she skipped out to go chill at the Heat vs. Clippers game! Now, it would be one thing if she was in a completely different city at the time, but — get this! — the game was going on right across the street from the People’s Choice Awards! Now, that’s just shitty! Obviously, it was the PEOPLE who voted for you, Rihanna, expecting your ass to be there! To me, [...]
Brooke Hogan and her mom, Linda Hogan were hitting up Miami in matching bikini-top-and-sweatpants yesterday, scaring the shit out of the locals with their man bodies.
I thought Miami Beach was supposed to be all about youth & glamor & the jet set scene. Well apparently not judging by these two hags, who by the way must have used some heavy duty tape to tape down Brooke’s penis for their day out in the sun. She literally looks like Cameron Diaz if she swallowed Chyna whole (the female wrestler).
That dog is the nicest looking bitch out of the three.
Brooke Hogan was back on Miami beach this weekend in a bikini, clearly bringing her own “paparazzi” photographer with her ala Heidi Montag. Just in Brooke’s case the photographer doesn’t like taking pictures that include her head, can’t really blame him, that jawline will break most cameras. I’m not even entirely positive why she’s famous to begin with. All I know about her for sure is that, when I was a kid, her dad used to yell at me through the TV, warning me to not do drugs and stay in school, or else Hulkamania was gonna run wild on me. And he meant it too. If I didn’t stay in school, he was gonna beat my ass. I used to get to the bus stop three hours early, scared that Hulk Hogan might literally kill me if I didn’t… What was I talking about again?
On his Twitter account, Hulk Hogan has taken offense that people thought he showed his junk in front of his daughter Brooke on a video for the Def Jam Rockstar game. The video producers CLEARLY went out of their way to make it appear that way in the video, which he was in and made a motion that sure looked like the revelation of Hulk junkage, but in the uncensored video you can clearly see it’s just of his black underwear. Well we certainly fell for it along with most of the media, but that’s just how viral videos work, they spread like wildfire.
Hogan left these comments on his twitter:
“Be on the lookout for press ,from people apologizing and releases of real footage from the video with nothing but good clean fun. HH”
“My real friends and fans know what I’m really all about and after 30yrs I’m not about public displays of private parts. HH”
I believe most of the media won’t retract the original story which was clearly bogus and an attempt to slander the Hulk, but just amend their story by spinning it and over analyzing his gesture of pulling his shorts to the side, which in hindsight he probably shouldn’t have done since it was just weird. Anyways we for one wanted to clear things up, and you can watch the video below to see what actually happened before that censored bar was added.
This creepy video for the Def Jam Rapstar video game is a must watch! Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan and his man-daughter Brooke are having a wonderful time paying tribute to The Notorious B.I.G in Def Jam Rapstar, until the Hulkster decides to take a peek at Brooke’s ass and expose his Little Hulkster. Thankfully there is such a thing as a censor bar.
Kudos to the Hulkmeister for not rubbing his dick on Brooke’s labia like he does with suntan lotion.
Brooke Hogan celebrated her 21st birthday on May 5 and cleared some nasty misconceptions about her family from my mind. I always used to hammer my brain thinking about the Hogans but I never managed to crack who the real outlaw was. Anyway, this video clip of Brooke’s birthday party (at Pure nightclub) explains everything. Everyone was present except Linda Hogan. That shows us that she’s the real culprit and not the Hulkster.
However, this birthday party has given rise to some fresh commotions too. Pay attention to what I say. The way Hulk’s new girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel, and Brooke get along is quite amazing. Moreover, there is absolutely no doubt about their mirror-like resemblance to each other. The world knows it. I mean, I mean they just look like they are siblings! And to make matters more confusing, there is not much information available about Jennifer. I don’t say I doubt the Hulkster, but there is a wild possibility for anything and everything in this crazy world.
Anyway, it’s better to keep quiet because the Hogans know best.
