America was collectively holding its breath yesterday and it sure as hell wasn’t because of the pending verdict in Michael Jackson’s case. No, our priorities are damn straight, we were all aching to find out if Courtney Stodden’s ridiculously large breasts were the work of a crafty plastic surgeon. Well, we can all breath again, because those bazukas are real. That is if you disregard that mysterious unidentified object the ultrasound picked up under her muscle. So either Dr. Drew picked up a homeless guy from the street, gave him a robe and told him to point a pointy thingy at someone’s boobs and he’d get a bowl of soup for lunch, or CIA secretly implanted a monitoring device to study the effects of abnormal levels of estrogen in the underage mentally retarded. That’s always valuable knowledge in the fight against terror.
Via NYDailyNews:
Initially, plastic surgeon Dr. John Diaz seemed to find a “round object” under her muscle in the images, but an indignant Stodden again insisted that she had never gotten plastic surgery.
The technician then tilted the transducer to a different angle and after much probing, Dr. Diaz took another good look at Stodden’s supposedly all-natural frame with the machine and confirmed that the images indeed proved that the fame-seeker had been telling the truth.
“This is all normal tissue we are looking at,” Dr. Drew said.
“I guess she was telling us the truth,” agreed Dr. Diaz. “She doesn’t look like she has an implant.”
Hutchinson, who stood by as the procedure took place onstage, looked smug. He once said in an interview that “her plastic surgeon was God.”
Asked if she was relieved to finally set the record straight about her body, Stodden played coy.
“It is. Yes. Thank you,” she smiled.
When we first looked at these bikini pics of 48-year old Elle MacPherson on a yacht in Sydney last week, we just assumed she and Naomi Campbell are still on a strict diet of eating newborns and placenta to cheat death and sagginess, but when we dug up bikini pics from a few months ago, well it was obvious that the woman who said back in 2006 “I don’t put anything foreign in my body, not even aspirin” just ingested half a gallon of silicone. You know what they say, the proof’s in the saggy A-cup tits, or the breast pudding, whatever.
Amy Winehouse flailed her completely desensitized bolt-ons around some more last night at a Universal Music party in London (with her new boyfriend Reg Traviss) making this the 100th time her nipples failed to distract us from her face. *superimposes Nicole Scherzinger’s face on hers, starts touchin…..* What? We said we love breasts. Even ones with two kilos of crack in them.
Here’s Kate Hudson during yesterday’s filming of Something Borrowed in NYC and again at the MET’s Costume Institute Gala on Monday night, and we can all stop expending massive amounts of energy stipulating as to whether the rise of her boobs from tiny AAs to tiny Bs was due to an excessive amount of chicken wings, some unknown guy’s penis playing tricks in her, or the world’s smallest silicone bags. Phew! Now we can go back to our posts on the state of our economy. Or Coco’s massive tits. They’re both equally important to this nation.
