Archive for the "Jessica Simpson" Category

Jessica Simpson Signs $4 Million Deal with Weight Watchers

We guess Jessica Simpson needs a little motivation to shed off all that baby weight because she has a new $4 million deal with Weight Watchers. “As soon as Jessica heals from the C-section, she is extremely determined to work out. She wants to show the world and is excited to do it.” a source said.

She has to be determined because she HAS to lose weight…it’s in the contract! The 5’3 star admitted that she ballooned up to 175 pounds, which is quite the spike in weight for someone as short as her. Sources familiar with Weight Watchers claim that Jessica will need to lose at least 50 pounds,

“She’ll have to meet the weight-loss goals for the deal to go through. She hasn’t chosen a trainer yet. In fact, she hasn’t even thought about it. But if she wants this, she’ll need to work out a good five times a week.” the source said.

Boo-hoo. Most people don’t get $4 million just for doing something they’re already supposed to be doing. If everyone received $4 million for losing 50 pounds…the obesity crisis would be gone. Jessica Simpson Signs $4 Million Deal with Weight Watchers Jessica Simpson Signs $4 Million Deal with Weight Watchers Jessica Simpson Signs $4 Million Deal with Weight Watchers Jessica Simpson Signs $4 Million Deal with Weight Watchers

 

Jessica Simpson FINALLY Has Her Baby!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jessica Simpson has officially had her baby! It turns out her huge belly didn’t just explode like we all thought might happen. The baby girl weighed a healthy 9 pounds 13 ounces and measured in at 21.75 inches. That is a pretty good size baby; guess we know why her belly was so big! Well, that and all the Oreos she ate.

Jessica and her fiance Eric Johnson named the baby, ‘Maxwell Drew Johnson’ which sounds really proper and British, but at least they didn’t name her, ‘Sunshine’ or some other Hollywood like name. Jessica did release a short statement on her website saying,

“Eric and I are elated to announce the birth of our baby girl Maxwell Drew Johnson. We are so grateful for all the love, support and prayers we have received. This has been the greatest experience of our lives.”

Congratulations! Jessica Simpson FINALLY Has Her Baby! Jessica Simpson FINALLY Has Her Baby! Jessica Simpson FINALLY Has Her Baby! Jessica Simpson FINALLY Has Her Baby!

 

Jessica Simpson is STILL Pregnant!

You may have heard the rumors going around this past week claiming that Jessica Simpson secretly had her baby. However, it appears that those rumors were not true at all. Jessica took to Twitter and put an end to all the speculation, “To everyone who keeps congratulating me on the birth of my baby girl…I’m still pregnant!! Don’t believe what you read ladies and gents.”

So, there you have it! Jessica Simpson is definitely still pregnant…but wait. Didn’t she just say, “Don’t believe what you read ladies and gents.” how are we supposed to believe her tweet then? Maybe she really did already have her baby and she is just hiding it in a very clever way.

That is highly unlikely, though. If she isn’t smart enough to know the difference between chicken and tuna; I highly doubt she would be clever enough to trick the world.

Anyway, enjoy the huge pictures of Jessica Simpson below. Jessica Simpson is STILL Pregnant! Jessica Simpson is STILL Pregnant! Jessica Simpson is STILL Pregnant! Jessica Simpson is STILL Pregnant!

 

Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant in Elle!

Jessica Simpson stripped down for Elle magazine this week. In the picture you can see her covering up her huge breasts with her huge hands. You can view all the pictures down below; our favorite one is the picture of her fiancé kissing her belly. Those shots are so played out; it’s like the mirror picture of pregnancy.

Simpson confirms that they are expecting a girl and she also talks about how she hopes her daughter takes after her and not her dad. “I swear, I will croak if she asks me for a pair of Nikes instead of Christian Louboutins! Eric is so athletic – we’re gonna have this athletic girl. I won’t even be able to take her shopping, ‘cause all she’s gonna want is sports bras and Nikes.”

Yeah, that would just be terrible! How dare her daughter! Wanting to exercise and not spend a fortune on a pair of crappy shoes. I’d put her up for adoption, she sounds like a demon child! Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant in Elle! Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant in Elle! Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant in Elle! Jessica Simpson Nude and Pregnant in Elle!

 

Oh! I Love These Baby Bumps… Check ‘Em Out!!!

It is amazing how celebrities always tend to get pregnant in clusters. Hmm… curious, is it not? The last cluster like this was in 2008-2009 when it seemed like every celebrity in Hollywood was preggers. And now is no different. Three of our most beautiful and talented starlett’s have gotten knocked up. And I am here to give you the skinny on the bellies! Jennifer Garner, mother of two and wife to used-to-be sexy dude Ben Affleck is Veeeery pregnant. But, on the subject of Ben… Have any of you noticed how unsexy he is lately? What is UP with that? Fatherhood has not been good to him or Brad Pitt, in my opinion. But, back on the subject of baby bumps, Jennifer was spotted in Santa Monica today getting some Mommy-time with some girlfriends. She was looking absolutely stunning, too. It’s crazy how a patterned scarf can uplift even the most blah of outfits, isn’t it? Had she not worn that scarf, I probably would have been here telling you how terrible she looked today. But — she did, and she does look beautiful. I’m not sure of her due date, other than it will be rather soon… Jessica Simpson was promoting a fashion show for Nicole Richie, looking absolutely fab, by the way. She was wearing a Roberto Cavalli dress that was clinging to that bump like a second skin. Unlike the rather slim — under the circumstances — Jennifer, Jessica has definitely plumped up a bit. But, that tends to happen with your first pregnancy. Jessica, even with the extra weight, looks absolutely stunning and will be popping sometime very soon, I’m sure. She has also announced that ‘It’s a Boy!!!’ Ah, and then we have music sensation and powerhouse, Beyonce, who is expecting fellow hip-hop front runner, Jay-Z’s baby. And, though there has been much controversy over this pregnancy of hers, she is still looking gorgeous. Also taking after Jessica, Ms. Bootylicious herself has packed on some baby LB’s for sure. But, I love me the curvy women, so I think she looks exceptional. As did many when she was spotted for the first time today since New Year’s. And, even though the rumor mill has been a-running that she has either had the baby girl already or isn’t even pregnant at all, two things are for sure: One — girl’s still got style! And two — she is still as sexy as ever! So, expect some news in the next few weeks, ladies and gents. Because some extremely beautiful future celebrities will be making their way into this world very soon!!!
 

Jessica Simpson is Huge for the Holidays!

We all know Jessica Simpson is no where close to her golden days when she was dancing around in a pair of daisy dukes…..ah those were the days. But, then she got pretty dang chubby and it wasn’t just that she gained a few pounds. She got really sloppy, too! It is fine for a woman to have a few extra pounds, just don’t get sloppy with it. Jessica Simpson got really sloppy and well now she is pregnant! I don’t mean just a little pregnant, she is REALLY pregnant. It looks like she has Mini-Me growing in her belly or something. I am sure she can’t fit into jeans anymore, so she is wearing some comfy looking sweatpants or tracksuit pants, basically pants that don’t need to be buttoned. And, of course she is wearing Ugg boots, she is the perfect candidate for Ugg boots, I bet she has pair of Crocs, too. Are those not the worst shoes, ever? They make my skin crawl just thinking about them. Anyway, you might be wondering why I am showing you these pictures and I can only think of two reasons. It’s Christmas and news is so very slow, and plus I know some of you weirdos have pregnant fetishes. I am not judging…okay yeah I am. Why can’t you just have a normal fetish? Like a foot fetish or something. A foot fetish is a perfectly accepted fetish.
 

All the other Halloween junk we missed

I don’t get it, why isn’t Lean Rimes and Eddie Cibrian in a costume?

Christina Aguilera dressed as Boy George in his fat, jail phase?? Not in a costume either, hah…

Duh, I’m a pregnant mummy you dummies!

Sofia Vergara dressed as Angry Bird is pretty much Halloween blasphemy. I basically expected her to hand out candy with her cleavage.

Harrison Ford just made Indiana Jones unwatchable.

Naomi Watts (the clown) put Liev Schreiber in a burka. That’s gotta be some sort of a message for his cheating ways isn’t it?

Arnold Scwarzenegger’s love child dressed as Conan The Barbarian. Nice try kid, but the Arnold vil not pay for aliimony!

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Tuesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.25.2011)

Britney Spears looking as sexy as a trailer with flower curtains. “Them shorts sure are purty, ain’t they?”

Vanessa Minnillo wants you to know she’s not just breasts. They have humor too, you know!

Julianne Moore took her osteoporosis pill before she got up on that scooter.

Men’s Health cares about the health of their readers. Hence the Christina Hendricks photo-shoot.

Julianne Hough fancies some midgit ass.

Miranda Kerr wearing that $2.5million bra.

Salma Hayek’s puppies have something important to tell David Letterman.

Kim Kardashian tries to

Somewhere under all that fabric lie Keira Knightley’s chest moles.

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Guess Jessica Simpson’s hunt for cash didn’t pay off

After trolling all the magazines and asking for $500,000 just to tell us what we already knew, Jessica Simpson gave up and showed off her belly. So unless, that’s a prosthetic, she’s at least 5-6 months pregnant. “Anyone interested in buying these ultrasound scans? I taught the little bastard to do a back-flip and pee at the same time. $1,000,000?”

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Tuesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.11.2011)

January Jones is not happy with her new Mad Men attire. That or Perrier is making her burpy.

Exhibit #168 that Jessica Simpson is pregnant: Need for urgent and frequent urination.

Carmen Electra’s right nipple is cold.

Alessandra Ambrosio is pumping her own gas??? America is on the verge of collapse.

Lady Gaga is calling her trichologist because her hair is falling out. That’s how I’m interpreting abstract art. Plus, her boyfriend is actually not an android with a quirky sense of style but Taylor Kinney from Vampire Diaries? I don’t get it.

We now understand David Arquette’s plight for younger poon.

Hilary Duff testing our oath to never make crotch jokes about pregnant women.

Hugh Jackman, Man Of Steal walking his little dog Peaches. Elton John wants this piece on his yacht, A.S.A.P.

Justin Theroux wants to make love with Justin Theroux, so Jennifer Aniston is filling in the blanks.

Selena Gomez is leggy.

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Conrad Murray Gets A Pedicure And Other Junk You Might Like (10.04.2011)

It seems the strain of being tried for manslaughter is too much for our good physician. Hookers and Scotch after the pedicure and manicure.

Gwen Stefani celebrates her 42nd birthday by going about in London in her white see-through bra.

Jessica Simpson continues the tradition of the Cow Parade. And Erik Johnson is there to hold her hand because long cons take time and commitment, damn it!

Rihanna’s wax figure is about to be unveiled and as expected it is appropriately dressed to allow the nation to ass-grope her.

Vanessa Hudgens has just crossed the line of an acceptable amount of padding to doughy.

Kristen Stewart has a movie to promote, thus, the bikini and lingerie parade in various magazines.

Alicia Silverstone and her husband Christopher look like they just spent the night under a bridge.

Pippa Middleton’s royal cleavage at 4:30am.

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Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.03.2011)

Evangeline Lilly’s cleavage steals the show from Hugh Jackman at Real Steel’s premiere in L.A.

Lindsay Lohan and her nipples looked disheveled at Kanye West’s fashion show.

Leann Rimes proves bones also carry the curse of cellulite. She just put down that celery stick, didn’t she?

Anna Friel was a slutty pirate with an out-of-control hair piece at Bob Geldof’s 60th birthday party.

AnnaLynne McCord needs to eat. Jared Leto needs to eat. In fact everyone needs to eat. Except Mariah Carey who ate her five dogs at the end of their park walk. Exercise does bring on the munchies.

Continuing the “marriage makes you fat, ugly or both” theme from the previous week: Anna Faris and Ben Affleck.

Jessica Simpson takes out what was under her dress all this time. Surprisingly it isn’t a bag of chocolate-covered nachos.

Rihanna changes her hairdo and upgrades her wardrobe to Jersey Shore status.

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Tuesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (09.27.2011)

Vanessa Hudgens almost falls out at a Cirque Du Soleil event.

Elizabeth Hurley plays a hungry cougar on Gossip Girl.

Snooki lost 15lbs after a sensible diet comprising of Dina’s saliva and whatever sperm lay on the floor every time she fell down.

Kim Kardashian continues to pollute NYC with her fake happiness. Wait, this one was genuine, someone threw a 100 dollar bill at her.

Octomom and Amy Fisher will fight it out at celebrity fight club. We’re sure it will all go down with poise and dignity.

Charlie Sheen is allowed around his kids and Denise Richards is actually smiling. We’re begging you, Charlie, bring mayhem and meltdown back!!!

Chris Brown takes a tumble on stage and almost breaks his arm.

Jessica Simpson ate a few Mexicans before she left Los Cabos.

Lady with the alien-looking baby, what have you done with Alicia Silverstone??

Leann Rimes and her nipples felt the breeze yesterday. Must be that she only has 000.1% body fat to shield her from the cold.

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Jessica Simpson continues to expand

Jessica Simpson is supposed to be training with Tracey Anderson and getting married soon, so those things together would ordinarily be sufficient enough motive to stop her from clearing out all neighborhing supermarkets from cookie dough. Seen here getting the only exercise that makes sense, i.e walking from the car to the nearest hotdog stand, Jess could of course be babynated, which is not a remark we make lightly since we’ve suggested that before, only to find out she had just intercepted a ship on its way to Africa and emptied out all the beef jerky and porridge from its containers. You draw your own conclusions.

 

Jessica Simpson in a green sweater dress

Now here we go with the Jessica Simpson stuff. I don’t think anyone should be hating on this woman for her body type. I think she’s absolutely gorgeous. I don’t care much for her public persona, but that doesn’t really make her any less attractive – at least not to me anyway. I’ve never been a big fan of the whole dumb blond movement, but anyone who thinks Jessica as dumb as her reality show would have you believe likely doesn’t pay much attention to the Hollywood hype machine. Blond bimbos with big boobs and no brains sell. Sadly. With that said, I kind of like Jessica for trying to step away from that image. I know someone is going to say something about Jessica looking a little round in these pictures taken in Beverly Hills but who cares. Look at those legs? Gorgeous. The only think I can see in these pictures that I don’t like is those shoes. Horrid, but aside from that, Jessica looks awesome.

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See the rest of Jessica Simpson in a green sweater dress pictures

© HQ Celebrity, 2011. | See pictures of all Celebrities |Dcpn1_-_DHM

 

Jessica Simpson is Actually Looking Kinda Hot

Jessica Simpson showed up to the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood Event last night looking kinda…dare I say it…hot. Well better than usual at least. She’s doing a pretty great job at losing a few pounds before her wedding. Having said that, the dress is obviously doing a lot of the work too. Those psychedelic patterns are designed to conceal and confuse, and those blue bits disguise how big her hips are.

I’d still let her release my baby batter.

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Jessica Simpson is a Big Fat Drunken Mess

Here is Jessica Simpson leaving the Katsuya sushi restaurant in Hollywood with her fiance, Eric Johnson, the other night. Looking like she is at that magical drunken point in the evening when she realizes she needs to eat some cheese fries, STAT! I’m just thankful that these pictures don’t include her recycling her sushi later on. Because it’s pretty much a guarantee to happen at that level of intoxication. Kudos to the Simpson handler for dodging that bullet for us.

I miss those days when Jess was the hottest chick on Earth during her “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’ ” era… Now she’s in more of a “This Booty Is Made For Storing Lard” era.

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Just One Pic: Jessica Simpson’s head is now home to birds

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I’m not sure what Jessica Simpson is trying to prove here, but her new beehive bouffant is definitely one of the most hair-raising debuts of 2011. Actually, it was not Jessica but her publicist Lauren Auslander who showed off Jessica’s new look on her Twitter account by posting this amazing pic. I’m sure the birds are already planning to hack that beautiful nest to lay some eggs. Great job, Lauren! All the best, Jessica!

 

Just One Pic: Jessica Simpson is fat and busty

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They say a picture speaks a thousand words. How true! Under normal circumstances (read: in the absence of such helpful pic), it would take at least two big paragraphs to convince the world that Jessica Simpson is fat and busty, but a pic makes the work so easy.

P.S. I guess you know there’s a BIG difference between “fat and busty” and just “busty”.

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Jessica Simpson’s Jeans Let Me Down

I’m really not pleased with the state that ">Jessica Simpson’s ass has been in these days, it’s very disappointing. Here she is going through security at the airport the other day in some jeans that seem to highlight the weight gain she’s been battling over the last little while. I’m not really surprised that security is being so thorough searching her, they probably think she’s smuggling something in her pants…. Like pillows or bags of milk.

     
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Jessica Simpson Pictures Jessica Simpson Pictures Jessica Simpson Pictures
Jessica Simpson Pictures    

Related Articles:
Jessica Simpson Has A Killer Tongue
Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Good Band-Aids
Jessica Simpson’s View From The Top
Jessica Simpson Sucks The Dark Chocolate

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

 

Jessica Simpson Covers Up the Chubcakes

I’m actually a little surprised to see that ">Jessica Simpson is looking pretty good in these pictures, not all fat and chunky looking, I’m impressed. I wonder how many layers of Spanx she’s got on under there. I’m not really feeling the outfit, if she had a giant blue captain’s hat she’d be a female Cap’n Crunch. Not sexy. I know something that could completely save this costume… Some giant chubcake cleavage.

     
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Jessica Simpson pictures Jessica Simpson pictures Jessica Simpson pictures

Related Articles:
Jessica Simpson Has A Killer Tongue
Jessica Simpson’s Boobs Are Good Band-Aids
Jessica Simpson’s View From The Top
Jessica Simpson Sucks The Dark Chocolate

Photos: PacificCoastNews

 

Thursday Gossip with Tracy St. George!

20090828_tracySay it ain’t so! The Obama’s almost got divorced? Yes, according to the National Enquirer, there is a new book coming out (by author Christopher Andersen) that says back when Barack was an Illinois State Senator times were rocky! He and Michelle weren’t communicating, romance was out the window and the sex was gone! Mich wanted him to play a bigger role at home or it was over! Needless to say, he must have stepped as they seem to be happy again!
 
Amy! What are you doing? Word on the street is Amy Winehouse is getting back together with her bad news ex-husband Blake! The divorce was final only a week ago, but supposedly they met up on Friday and WENT TO A BAR! After drinks Amy snuck him into her place THROUGH A WINDOW! Security as strict orders to keep that low life out of her newly cleaned up life.

Looks like Rihanna might have a new love in her life! Some dude named Travis London turned her head and they have been out on numerous dates over the past week in LA. Travis used to date Michelle Tanner aka Mary Kate Olsen.

Kim Kardashian is telling the world her sister Khloe is happily dating Lamar Odom of the LA Lakers! Lamar just signed a nice 4 year deal with the Lakers for $33 million! He’s got 2 kids – 10 and 7. Lamar said “Khloe is smart and beautiful and that is very hard to find.”
TRACY NOTE: I went to DASH in Miami over the weekend… blah blah blah. Wasn’t impressed.
 
Just another reason to love love love Sandra Bullock! She told Parade magazine that “There’s more to life than just looking for the right guy. If I can do anything in this time of my career, it’s to make it easier for girls who are growing up not to feel they have to wind up with someone to complete them. You know, I complete me. I’m just lucky that after I completed myself, I met someone who could tolerate me.” She of course is married to super cool dude Jessie James.

Poor Jessica Simpson. The girl just can’t get a break. Jess was a surprise guest model at French fashion show last Thursday and her dress was HORRIBLE! It looked like a suped up Hefty Bag. The designer was Ozlem Suers.

Two places I don’t think a person should Twitter – in the loo and at a funeral. Violating one of these two was Al Sharpton who was tweeting while at Michael Jackson’s funeral.
 
1: “I am sitting at the burial services of michael jackson. I am talking to actress lisaraye mc coy… and tom mesereau . . . Tom represented MJ in the molestation case.
 
2: “We are all discussing his battles. What MJ went through was so unfair, yet he succeeded. In the end, he was the biggest artist ever. He faced the headwinds but he made it.
 
3: “I just spoke at the conclusion of tributes. Gladys Knight sang her heart out. Now we prepare to lay him to rest.
 
4: “MICHAEL JACKSON HAS BEEN LAID TO REST.
 
Dude has no class…
 
If you missed the 44th Annual Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon over the weekend, you missed one SUPER fabulous thing! Charo (yes…miss Koochie Koochie) singing Rihanna’s “Please Don’t Stop The Music”… followed up by her giving Jerry a lap dance. 
 
Welcome To Atlanta where the playas give away cars! Ludacris gave away 20 cars in a contest he set up called the “Ludacris Stimulus Package”. He’d teamed up with a local Nissan dealership to give free used cars to people who were struggling to make ends meet. Ludacris said “People are getting laid off, and now are looking for jobs. To be efficient, you need some transportation of your own to get there. That’s why I wanted to give back to those who need it.” The winners also received 30 days of FREE GAS… but they were responsible for taking care of the costs for tags, registration, tax and insurance.

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