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Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like — 1/9/12
Rum Diary is Johnny Depp’s worst box office movie ever, but hey, Amber Heard looks good.
Here’s Johnny Depp and Amber Heard at the British premiere of their borefest of a movie Rum Diary and considering that it tanked in the U.S, barely grossing $5 million in its opening weekend and is set to tank even worse worldwide (even that horrible movie The Tourist, with Angelina Jolie grossed $17million in its opening weekend), they’re not doing nearly enough to pick people’s interest (well, he did pretend he was drunk at the U.S premiere). Hell, at this point, I’m not even sure having Amber run around naked denouncing lesbianism and Johnny Depp screaming “rape” from all the camera flashes would even cause any kind of stir. But they could try…Amber??
Thursday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.27.2011)
That’s James Franco’s cold ass on the cover of Flaunt magazine. Guess he wanted to show us he has no ingrown hair??
Jennifer Nicole Lee’s nipples are on the menu today.
Eva Longoria gets a full body scan at LAX. When they were telling us something positive would come out of the terrorist attacks, they meant this, didn’t they.
SJP’s mesmerized by that black microphone. Hm, wonder why…
Scarlett Johansson in her role as an “alien sex predator”. Her reptilian tentacles must be hiding under that 70′s fur.
George Michael is in fine form these days.
Orlando Bloom looks incredibly manly.
Jennifer Love Hewitt should stick to bandage dresses.
Johnny Depp needs some help walking at the premiere of Rum Diaries.
This is where Leonardo DiCaprio parked his penis for the week. Meet model Madalina.
This is Courtney Stodden just 18 months ago, before she decided to chase the dream of becoming a slutty child-bride.
Amber Heard is unfortunately still a lesbian
Amber Heard was at the premiere of the movie The Rum Diary aka Johnny Depp got emotionally raped doing this, in which she plays Johnny’s love interest well, looking like this, which only reinforces my belief that hugely attractive women should be forbidden by law to enter lesbiantry. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Lesbian Rights. Only when it pertains to lesbians with large biceps who can kick my ass though.
PS: Johnny was also there, but didn’t eat pavement and didn’t stick his fist up a paparazzo’s anus. All in all, a very successful evening.
Drunk Johnny Depp takes a tumble
Only days after making those dead on rape comments, Johnny Depp took on the inebriated celebrity challenge in Hollywood and proved he’s an excellent and able alcoholic. Johnny was leaving a restaurant called 25 Degrees on Monday night. As he made it out the door noticeably unsteady, but still able to scribble his autograph, he got hugged by a dude who tried to prevent him from falling but instead ended up falling on top of him, got back up after eating pavement and took an impressive stroll to the SUV like nothing ever happened. And most astonishing of all, he didn’t stick his fist in the shouting paparazzi’s mouth for pretty much gang-raping him. But he did do an imaginary asshole salute, so not all Johnny was lost in the vodka and beers.
Johnny Depp gets raped every time he does a photoshoot
So get this, Johnny Depp, who absolutely loathes being interviewed and being photographed, gets interviewed and photograpped in Vanity Fair only to complain about it calling it Rape. Yeah, that’s right, rape. And because we feel his everyday struggle (earning $50million per year , having people worship you etc) is a real one, we’re going to go ahead and post a few pictures of him from Cannes. Bet he’s feeling molested right about now. And then, we’re going to post a couple of bikini pictures of Kristen Stewart who’s a fellow sufferer. Sadism to the max, baby!
Via Vanity Fair:
‘You just feel like you’re being raped somehow,’ he said. ‘Raped… It feels like a kind of weird… just weird, man.’
‘Whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like… you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid,’
Johnny Depp gets frustrated over split rumors
Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp seems to be in a very disturbing mood from last two days; not due to his hectic professional life, but because of his personal life. Yeah, there’s been quite a paparazzi poking going around his personal life. Johnny is apparently yelling over the reports related to the rift in his marriage of 13 yrs with Vanessa Paradis. And the source cause is once again another woman, Robin Baum, with whom Johnny shared awe…state of kiss and moreover, it was caught in the lens of a photographer.
According to The Sun,
VANESSA PARADIS, 38 - his wife of 13 years - was said to be at their home in southern France with their two kids at the time. Voici magazine wrote: “What is he playing at? He knows Robin is a maneater.” But Vanessa’s spokeswoman said last night: “It’s lies, you heard rumors but it is not true.”
It’s believed that this kiss took placed when Johnny and Vanessa were attending a Hollywood showbiz function together. It’s really frustrating for any true bonded couples when such situation arises; all I pray is that this news comes as a mere rumor and nothing in serious.
The 2011 People’s Choice Awards Results & Pictures
We got the first taste of award season last night as celebs and fame whores (seen above) took to the blue carpet for the 2011 People’s Choice Awards in L.A. You could have sat through all two hours of the inane banter from host Queen Latifah that went along with it. But if you didn’t (and for your own sakes, let’s hope that’s the case) I manned up, soldiered through and took notes of the results as chosen by the “people”, “people” clearly being in this case 14 year old girls.
Cinema
Favorite Movie: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Favorite Action Movie: Iron Man 2
Favorite Comedy Movie: Grown Ups
Favorite Drama Movie: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Favorite Family Movie: Toy Story 3
Favorite Horror Movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress: Kristen Stewart
Favorite Action Star: Jackie Chan
Favorite Comedic Star: Adam Sandler
Favorite On-Screen Team: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, & Taylor Lautner
Favorite Movie Star Under 25: Zac Efron
Television
Favorite TV Comedy: Glee
Favorite TV Drama: House
Favorite TV Comedy Actor: Neil Patrick Harris
Favorite TV Drama Actress: Lisa Edelstein
Favorite TV Crime Drama: Lie to Me
Favorite TV Crime Fighter: Tim Roth
Favorite TV Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Fringe
Favorite Competition Show: American Idol
Favorite New TV Comedy: $#*! My Dad Says
Favorite New TV Drama: Hawaii Five-0
Favorite Talk Show Host: Conan O’Brien
Favorite TV Guilty Pleasure: Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Favorite Family TV Movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam
Music
Favorite Song: Love The Way You Lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna
Favorite Music Video: Love the Way You Lie by Eminem featuring Rihanna
Favorite Male Artist: Eminem
Favorite Female Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Rock Band: Paramore
Favorite Breakout Artist: Selena Gomez & the Scene
Favorite Pop Artist: Rihanna
Favorite Country Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite R&B Artist: Usher
Favorite Hip-Hop Artist: Eminem
‘The Tourist’ falls flat at the box-office
Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp’s much-anticipated movie, The Tourist, has bombed at the box office. The film failed to collect even 20 percent of the production cost in its opening weekend and fell flat in front of The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader which took around £19million.
The Sun reports,
The Tourist is thought to have taken just £12million over the weekend when it opened in the US - trounced by The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader, which took around £19million. The thriller, set in Venice, cost around £63million to make but has been slated by critics. Hollywood blogger Nikkie Finke said it under-performed to the “point of desperation”. Experts predict it will be pulled from US cinemas within weeks. In the film, Angelina, 35, plays the English girlfriend of a thief wanted for robbing a gangster. Depp, 47, is an American teacher she meets on a train. Reviewers branded it “stupid” and said the pair lacked chemistry.
Nothing comes between Johnny Depp and his family… not even the telephone
When it comes to family and kids, no celebrity can come even closer to Johnny Depp, let alone match his dedication. The Pirates Of The Caribbean star may be a mega star with a schedule as busy as a bee, but nothing can persuade him to compromise with the quality time he spends with his family - not even the ringing of the telephone.
The Sun quotes him as saying,
Nothing makes me happier than watching Vanessa and my kids and just realising that they’re my world. It’s pure joy. When I’m at our house in France I totally cut myself off from the rest of the world. I never have to listen to phones ringing and that’s because - and Vanessa would confirm this - phones are banned from the house. We have a beautiful life and I feel that spending time in France has just calmed me down and made me stop worrying about things which aren’t really important.
Captain Jack Sparrow invades London primary school!
Beatrice Delap, a nine-year-old student from south-east London’s Meridian Primary School, wrote to Captain Jack Sparrow asking for help staging a ‘mutiny’ against the teachers. Any guesses what happened next? The letter did reach Johnny Depp, who is currently filming scenes for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides at the nearby Royal Naval College, and he actually turned up at the school in Greenwich, south-east London, dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow!
Heat Magazine reports,
Delivered to the film crew by Pat, ‘from the school office’, the letter was quickly forgotten about. However, the letter did indeed reach the right hands. Days later, and with only 10 minutes warning of Johnny Depp’s arrival, the teachers found themselves quickly frog-marching the kids into Meridian primary school’s main hall for a special assembly, which Captain Jack Sparrow and four of his crew members duly invaded!
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Johnny Depp & His Gorgeous Girls
In a rare public siting, Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp was pictured with his longtime love, Vanessa Paradis, and their beautiful daughter Lily-Rose, 11 next month, in Venice, Italy on Thursday (April 29). Little brother Jack, 8, was not spotted with the trio.
After smiling and waving to the paparazzi, Johnny lovingly wrapped his arms around both his girls as they enjoyed a late night walk.
The following day, Johnny and his costar Angelina Jolie were seen shooting their upcoming flick, The Tourist.
Video: [Movie Trailer]
Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a thrilling journey through the mad lanes of Wonderland. Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland promises to deliver much more than you can handle. Australian actress Mia Wasikowska plays Alice in this 3D madventure alongside Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the The Red Queen, Crispin Glover as the Knave of Hearts and Anne Hathaway as the The White Queen. Alice in Wonderland hits theaters March 5th, 2010. It’s a long wait, I agree, but at least now you know how much intensity you have to put into your prayers.
Best moment: It’s cool all the way!