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Lindsay Lohan Won’t Be Getting Any Additional Jail Time
Lindsay Lohan formally submitted her “no contest” plea to the misdemeanor theft of a necklace today, and the judge decided she will serve no time beyond the 120 days she has already been sentenced for violating probation.
TMZ is reporting that LiLo may end up doing the time under house arrest, and that it will likely amount to 14 days with good behavior and such.
Lindsay still has to do her 480 hours of community service, galavanting around town without a bra mostly, and complete “psychological counseling and a shoplifters alternative class.” But since LiLo’s latest spiral of criminality began with a probation violation for failing to complete an alcohol education course, don’t count her freedom before it hatches, or whatever.
LiLo sent lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley to submit the plea without her, cruelly leaving a throng of court house paparazzi with no new photo opportunity!
Lindsay Lohan is Considering the Plea Deal
Hardened criminal Lindsay Lohan sent her lawyer to ask the judge in her grand theft case “how much time she’ll get if she agrees to a guilty or no contest” plea, according to Radar.
“Yeah, ask him about the plea or whatever. I’ll be at Coachella… Oh, n ask him if Salvia counts, and, like how many days it takes to get outta your system.”
Rihanna Explains Why She Had Chris Brown Restraining Order Relaxed
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Rihanna responded to criticism of her decision to relax her restraining order against Chris Brown, saying, “You can never please people … That’s my decision…it doesn’t mean we’re getting married tomorrow. It doesn’t mean we’re gonna be in a relationship, or make up, or even talk ever again. It just means I didn’t want to object to the judge.” She added, “What he did to me was a personal thing. It had nothing to do with his career. Saying [he can't perform at awards show] definitely made it difficult for him. We don’t have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for him professionally.”
Hear that Chris Brown, now is your chance for round two of the Rihanna beating, next time you are at the MTV awards together you can do this to her again, just as long as you don’t talk to her.
Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Take Plea Deal, is Going to Trial
Today was the deadline for Lohan to take a plea bargain for the felony grand theft of a $2000 necklace, and according to TMZ, she isn’t taking it. Accordingly, the flaxen-haired kleptomaniac has been assigned a trial judge, the Honorable Judge Stephanie Sautner. Sautner’s surprisingly telegenic past includes stints as an NYPD-SVU detective and a legal researcher for People’s Court. (And, you know, being a judge for the last couple decades.) Lohan’s first pre-trial hearing is scheduled for April 22 (wait, that’s Good Friday. Bring on the “she’s being crucified” puns).
Now on a semi related matter; what happened to the days of celebrities OD’ing? It seems like they used to go all the time. The herd of useless celebrities needs to be seriously thinned. Is Darwin on vacation in Cabo or something?
Finally a Judge Who Doesn’t Care Who Lindsay Lohan is
In a cleavage-baring top and chunky jewelry, Lindsay Lohan reported to court today court for the grand theft of a $2000 necklace. Per usual, the appearance was livestreamed on TMZ. The judge announced that if Lindsay Lohan accepts a plea bargain — as her lawyer has said she’d like to do — it will have to include jail time. “If you plead in front of me, you are going to jail, period. If the case settles here, you will go to jail,” Judge Keith Schwartz said. Worrying about whether the ruined starlet would become a “repeat offender,” he asked for “additional psychological information” and made his lack of interest in LiLo’s celebrity clear:
There are things you need to understand. I’ve never met you, you’ve never met me outside of this court to my knowledge. I don’t care that you’re Lindsay Lohan.
The fact that the judge felt the need to say, “I don’t care that you’re Lindsay Lohan,” implies that he actually does care. He cares at least enough to feel the need to unequivocally state that she won’t be getting special treatment. Not that I disagree with the sentiment, but it does seem contradictory. (Edit comment)
LiLo will return to court on March 10, at which point she can either accept a plea or choose to stand trial. If found guilty she could get up to one year in prison. Which is probably the most hilarious and ridiculous assumption I’ve ever heard in my life. LiLo, going to jail…HA! Yeah right.
The judge ruled Lindsay’s preliminary hearing and probation violation case will be heard at the same time. At the end of the preliminary hearing, if the judge feels it’s more likely than not that she stole the necklace, Lindsay will be thrown in jail immediately while she awaits trial on the grand theft case.
So even if Lindsay is ultimately found not guilty at trial, she’ll still be in jail for the probation violation.
Short story … it’s likely Holley will plead guilty or no contest on behalf of her client, and then hope the judge gives Lindsay less than 6 months.
So even if Lindsay is ultimately found not guilty at trial, she’ll still be in jail for the probation violation.
Short story … it’s likely Holley will plead guilty or no contest on behalf of her client, and then hope the judge gives Lindsay less than 6 months.
If You Illegally Downloaded Teen Anal Nightmare 2, Then Here is Some Good News!
Some time last month, porn company West Coast Productions sued exactly 9,729 anonymous BitTorrent users who illegally downloaded the film Teen Anal Nightmare 2 (Worst sequel ever, was really hard to follow the story unless you see the first one). Luckily for you and me a judge just threw out the lawsuit (tossed it if you will). We’re sure this news has made a lot of people here, umm… relieved.
Now they can focus on my lawsuit pertaining to the fact that I didn’t find that every scene was 100% anal hell. Some scenes were closer to only 50-85% anal hell (5% margin of error).
Anna Nicole Smith might have been murdered, claims judge
The flamboyant judge brought to fame in the fight over Anna Nicole Smith’s remains has described her death ‘a potential murder case.’
Larry Seidlin, the former Fort Lauderdale judge, is harshly critical of Smith’s lawyer-turned-companion Howard K. Stern, and of the police investigations into the deaths of the Playboy Playmate and her son.
But as provocatively titled as The Killing of Anna Nicole Smith his new book is, Seidlin offers no evidence either death was anything more than the accidental drug overdoses they were deemed.
‘I think there was foul play and it should be investigated by an independent agency,’ he told TMZ.
‘I think enablers should be punished,’ he writes in the book, referring to Stern.
‘How about keeping her off drugs while she was alive? He was with her every day; how about saying no, and if she kicks your ass out, then goodbye and good luck.’
Then, the judge says, ‘we won’t have all this celebrity blood on our hands.’
Seidlin presided over the six-day televised hearing into the fate of Smith’s body, shortly after her February 2007 death.
His jurisdiction was limited to control of Smith’s body; Florida never charged anyone in connection with her death. A California court is determining whether she was illegally given drugs.
Seidlin’s hearing became a national obsession, with a cast of characters suited for reality TV. Bronx-born Seidlin, a former New York cab driver, was full of smart-alecky one-liners and nicknames for the massive roster of attorneys and witnesses.
For example, he called Dr. Joshua Perper, the medical examiner, Dr. Pepper.
‘I’m not going to talk about this case ever again,’ he promised at its close.
But, of course, he did and he remained in the news. He even tried to parlay his fame into a TV show. Now he has his book, from Canada-based Transit Publishing, which specializes in celebrity biographies.
Meanwhile, Stern and two of Smith’s doctors are scheduled to go on trial Aug. 4 on charges that they illegally funneled sedatives and opiates to the model.
They have pleaded not guilty and are not charged with causing Smith’s death.
Seidlin says Stern ‘exercised a great amount of control over Anna Nicole by maintaining and reviewing her drug desires and addiction.’
He calls for reopening investigations into the death of her 20-year-old son, Daniel Smith, in September 2006 and of the model five months later, noting Stern was present at both. He says police bungled the original investigations.
Stern’s attorney, Steve Sadow, had no immediate comment on the book.
Much of Seidlin’s book is a rehash of the Smith hearings he oversaw, simply reprinting court transcripts with commentary mixed in.
He frequently tries to burnish his own image as a judge, but also appears to question the one decision he made in the case.
‘I want her buried with her son in the Bahamas,’ he said through tears at the time. ‘I want them to be together.’
Throughout the book, though, Seidlin is sympathetic to Smith’s mother, Virgie Arthur, who fought for her estranged daughter’s burial in her native Texas.
He calls for her reburial there, or possibly in California, saying: ‘Her soul and Danny’s soul need to be placed on sacred ground in the Lone Star state with people who grew up with her and loved her in her simpler days.’
He admits in the book that he ‘got a little hoaky … a little corny’ during the trial.
He defends against criticism that his showboating drastically elongated proceedings, saying anyone who thinks they could have been done in a day or two ‘is a complete idiot’.
He also says he’s not ashamed of sobbing on the bench, nor has he shed his last tear over the case.
As for when he first learned he would be handling the case, Seidlin said he received a call from his judicial assistant alerting him they needed to schedule an emergency hearing.
‘Who is Anna Nicole Smith?’ he said he asked his wife, who was incredulous he didn’t know.
‘If she played second base for the Yankees,’ he retorted, ‘I’d know her.’
A spokesman for the Seminole Police Department said: ‘Seidlin is wrong. Seminole Tribe Police completed a comprehensive investigation of the death of Anna Nicole Smith in complete cooperation with the Broward County Medical Examiner, the Office of the State Attorney and the Crime Lab of the Broward Sheriff’s Office.
‘Since then, Seminole Police have worked closely with California investigators, who are prosecuting criminal charges in the case.’