Archive for the "kissing" Category

Amber Heard making out with her lesbian lover

Here’s Amber Heard outside Figaro Cafe in Los Feliz, Los Angeles on Wednesday night making out with a brunette while engaging in some Nazi salute at the same time which clearly is not what I expected (in my fantasies there’s always heavy breast grabbing), but since I’m eager to learn the nuances of lesbiantry, I think I’d make a perfect assistant if they needed someone to hold a flag or detangle their hair or wipe out the lipstick from various body parts.

FYI, the girl she’s making out with is not her girlfriend of three years, Tasya Van Ree, and since the two still follow each other on Twitter I’m going to go ahead and assume Tasya sent Amber out to find a beautiful brunette and convince her to come home with her so they can have a romantic threesome in a hot tub. I think it’s time for popcorn, si?

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Wilmer Valderrama back with Demi Lovato?

First of all, I thought Wilmer Valderrama was dead, but suddenly he’s everywhere in L.A this week, first partying it up with Ashton Kutcher and now “caught” making out with ex-girlfriend Demi Lovato outside her house with one eye fiercely engaged in the task of surveillance. “Quickly TMZ, are you getting this? There’s so long a grown man can stand kissing a fat girl in slippers. Plus…she’s no longer 17 and that creeps me out!”

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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Share a Lesbian Moment Together in Hawaii

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are currently ona lesbian love vacation in Hawaii, grinding their vaginas all night long, assisting her with her 10 inch black dildo. Because you know, he’s a chick. Or was it because everyone of the Bieber race is without genitals? Bah, either one is fine.

In any case we aren’t buying this Justin. Until we see video of the intercourse you’re still gay.

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Rihanna Performed ‘S&M’ With Britney at the Billboard Awards, and Kissed Her

Rihanna did her best impression of Madonna at last night’s Billboard Awards, nailing Britney Spears right on the kisser after a performance ofolfactophilic pain anthem “S&M.”

But ABC didn’t air their sapphic smackeroo in its live broadcast. At the bottom is a video of the performance. At 4:12 the ladies go in for a hug. At 4:12 the camera cuts to the cheering audience. At 4:16 we return to Britney and Rihanna pulling apart. We missed the (incredibly brief) kiss!

To ABC’s credit, straight girls kissing onstage is pretty boring at this point. (You know a trend is over when Miley Cyrus joins it.) So maybe they were trying to help Britney and Rihanna save face? Or, more likely, the kiss was spontaneous and/or too quick for the live cameras to catch it. But don’t let that stop you from spinning conspiracy theories. Maybe Rihanna wasn’t kissing Britney, but sucking the life out of her before she humiliates herself on yet another ill-advised tour. Mercy kiss-killing.

Maybe we should just enforce a new rule that says every straight girl who kisses another straight girl for attention should be forced to go down on Rosie O’Donnell.

 

Reese Witherspoon Says Kissing Robert Pattinson Was Disgusting

Twihards may dream of intimate moments with the Sparkly Vampire Robert Pattinson (MOST GREATEST THING EVER OMG VAMPIRE TWILIGHT SPARKLY UNICORN!!!), but Reese Witherspoon says her love scenes with him in Water For Elephants were gross.

“Rob possibly had the most hideous horrible cold of any co-star I’ve ever had to do a love scene with ever in my entire life,” she says. “He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it — and it was not appealing. I’m talking green, infectious, disgusting — I’m not kidding!” She adds: “I’m going to say it’s a little bit of a downer. I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t sexy.”

Let the betting start, when will Reese Witherspoon get ripped apart by angry Twlight fans, I’m going for 17 hours. RIP Reese Witherspoon.

 

Christina Aguilera’s Chauffeur Doesn’t Like What He Sees

While photos of Christina Aguilera making out with Matthew Rutler have been grabbing all the headlines, the unsung hero in all of this is the poor chauffeur who had front row tickets to the sticky bout of tonsil hockey. As the horror slowly dawns upon him, the contortions of his face are amazing.

Poor guy though, he knows anything within a 10-yard radius of when Christina Aguilera opens her mouth needs to get tested and disinfected.

 

Leaked Pictures of Vanessa Hudgens and Alexa Nikolas Making Out and Posing Nude

Over the weekend, the internet people descovered new photos purporting to be leaked snapshots of Vanessa Hudgens and Alexa Nikolas (star of the Nickelodeon TV show Zoey 101) on a (now defunct) Flickr account. Sadly, the images are censored… but somehow we suspect the originals will surface soon enough.

The image above shows the two kissing.

By our count, this marks Vanessa Hudgens’s third leaked photo scandal (though just Alexa Nikolas’s first), which has us wondering why the former Disney darling keeps getting her bits exposed in the press. Has she just not learned her lesson about digital privacy? Is she constantly getting outwitted by increasingly brilliant hackers? Is she addicted to the thrill of the risk of getting (literally) exposed? Or is this all a complicated PR effort to remind us that her “High School Musical” days are far behind her…and that she really likes kissing girls?

Given the secretive nature of celebrities (and their PR flacks), it’s pretty certain we won’t know the truth any time soon. But if the answer does lie behind door number four, well…we’re guessing that this is just the first of many leaked photos we see from Alexa Nikolas, too.

Vanessa Hudgines Nudes:

Alexa Nikolas kissing girls who aren’t Vanessa Hudgens, and being naughty:

 

Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin Shared Some Man Love at the Oscars

No country airtime for bold men.

Apparently during Sunday night’s ungodly awful Oscars telecast, co-presenters (and apparent ice cream salesmen) Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin did a little dance and kissed each other before they walked up to the mic. Great fun, right? Only shocking thing in a bleak night. Except, we didn’t get to see it because the producers instead cut to Bardem’s wife Penelope Cruz.

Don’t worry, though. They didn’t show it because of some anti-gay, “America isn’t ready for men kissing” type of thing. The producers just didn’t know it was going to happen, so they cut to Cruz as planned and by the time they cut back to the pair, they were done with their little dance of the two tongues routine. Luckily an AP photographer snapped a picture of the moment, otherwise it would be lost to eternity, known only to the millionaires in attendance. It’s still too bad we didn’t see it live, though. It might just have made up for the pain of watching Anne Hathaway congratulate herself for three hours.

 

Charlie Sheen Shows Off Either a New Girlfriend or a Random Hooker

Charlie Sheen has a new braless blonde girlfriend/hooker/porn star/a mouth for him to exhale his cigarette smoke into, with whom he posed for kissy paparazzi pictures. As in, they walked two inches out the door and onto the sidewalk, stood in front of the door, and started making out. When asked for the lady’s name, Sheen replied, “None of your f-ing business,” but if you’re a celebrity and you invite the paparazzi to take your picture, that literally is their business, isn’t it? Taking pictures of you and your meandering tongue is how they will send their children to college.

Lucky for Charlie she seems like the type that swallows,  so no preggies with this one!

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JWoww Looking Slutty & Doing Some Girl On Girl Action

Who knew that JWoww was so kinky..? Oh that’s right, we all pretty much did. Here are some photos of JWoww that leaked online today back from when she was a seemingly naughty (and nipple slipping) cocktail waitress back in 2008. If this is what we can expect from her sex tape then put me down for 4 copies. I love nothing more than to beat it off to nasty disease ridden whores. Actually calling JWwow that is insulting to nasty disease-ridden whores.

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THIS JUST IN: Selena Gomez is a Lesbian, Caught Kissing Justin Bieber

I saw Gomez kissing Bieberclaus. The picture above is probably of Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez, well that is according to the tween bloggers over at BieberHeiress anyways,  and they once leaked photos of Bieber snuggling his ex, so they would know! One thing is for sure, they have some excellent photo editing skills over at BieberHeiress, those red scrawls are some high-powered freehand PhotoShop work… Here is a picture of Selena’s ear for comparison:

Now more importantly! Has the president been notified?!? What’s our Defcon level? What information are we getting from foreign intelligence services? Those damn limeys at MI-6 better not start playing patty cake with intel now. Assemble the joint chiefs. Yes, well, if the Admiral wanted to see his granddaughter’s ballet recital, he wouldn’t have taken this godforsaken job. This is it, gentlemen. Look alive, it’s going to be a long night. All we can do is study those OPSAT photos, and pray for dawn.

In all seriousness now. It’s the 21st century. I think it’s high time we stop being shocked by two young women kissing.

 

Ke$ha Oral Sex Picture Leaked Online

If you have just eaten, then you might want to stay far away from the picture below, unless pictures of Ke$ha getting her box munched on is your kind of thing (that boy is touching her junk, junk… With his face). How these photos found their way online is unknown right now, but I really wouldn’t put it past Ke$ha to just leak them herself, wouldn’t be the trashiest thing she has done.  I’m fully expecting “leaked” photos of her rogering a midget with a strap-on while wearing a Hitler outfit within the next few weeks.

But then again, this picture could just be grossly taken out of context, that dude might just be trying to give a poor fly that got too close to Ke$has toxic vagina mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

UNSENSORED picture of the vag munching can be found below:

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Tila Tequila Gives Kate Major a STD Covered Kiss

Tabloid writer Kate Major celebrated her birthday with a smooch from attention whore Tila Tequila at West Hollywood’s House of Blues Tuesday night while random people like Michael Lohan and Tila’s new boyfriend Apollo Green looked on (guess she isn’t a lesbian anymore). Basically the who’s who of who gives a crap. Intrestingly enough Tiger Woods’ former porn star mistress Joslyn James, was also there celebrating her 33rd birthday and her nomination for an AVN award .

And I know what you are all thinking; Who are these people and why should I give a shit? Is there a reason that Tila shouldn’t have kissed Kate? Have these people done anything to warrant me caring? Is my life somehow less complete because I don’t know who they are?

The truth is we just wanted to weave Tiger’s name into the most random story possible, SO BAM, mission complete. That $60 office pool is now mine.

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Lady Gaga makes out with girlfriend in St.Tropez

4yujwhrhLady Gaga spent a day off touring on board a yacht in the bay of St.Tropez on Friday rubbing crotches with a mystery girl who could be her secret lover or one of the many random chicks in the South of France who will give you an ass pass if you have a yacht, or rent a yacht or are invited on a yacht and will let them get on it. Either way, the whole thing was scary, and not because a fat gay boy was gazing at the lesbian romp blessing it with the seal of approval from the gay community, but because Lady Gaga was in her natural state. On that note, did anyone check the missing persons list with the authorities? After all, this one got to see her face, so chances of survival are pretty slim. We’re talking Sudden Death From Shock And Horror Syndrome, and dammit, why can’t you take us seriously French constabularies? She eats them afterward! She eats them we tell you!!!