Here’s 37 year-old bodacious Sofia Vergara for February’s issue of Loaded (UK) and honestly, if you can put up with an orange-haired Laurel and Hardy tenderly petting each other’s panda in gay bliss, Modern Family is worth watching just so you can visualize her riding you like a mechanical bull plugged into a wall socket for non-stop service. We on the other hand, would be willing to walk the Colombian streets naked with just a poncho and risk having our ass used as a mule for a chance to climb her like Jack and the beanstalk and get to her golden bozangas…not that we’re saying we’re as short as Tom Cruise when he tried to do the same back in 2005…for the record, he used an escalator.
