Archive for the "Linda Lovelace" Category

Lindsay Lohan is sitting pretty

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Here are some sexy pics of Lindsay Lohan taken from her own 6126 Lookbook collection and some promo stills from the upcoming Linda Lovelace biopic Inferno. The common bond between these two set of pics is that LiLo is looking totally sexy and adorable in both. And if you are still miffed up by that header, let me tell you that I mean it literally. This is the last hurdle for LiLo and once she’s out of that rehab, there’s nothing else but success and pure success for Lindsay Lohan. Mark my words and meet me this Christmas. Now stop scratching your head and enjoy the gallery right after the jump.
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Lindsay Lohan Wants to Act Again.. as a Porn Star

It’s not surprising that a whore that went on a coke-fueled speed chase on the highway is about to make a drastically poor business decision: Lindsay Lohan has decided to be a porn star. Not for real (damn) but in a movie. Which is slightly better. … but only by a little, since she wants to play Linda Lovelace:

“It’s not going to do any good for her already tarnished reputation — I think this movie hits a little too close to home. If she’s serious about getting her career back on track, she needs to take on a more mature and sophisticated role to show how her talent has progressed over the years.”


In the film, which is set to begin filming as early as August, Lindsay has filthy lines like, “Is there anything in this life I like more than cock sucking? Okay. Well, one thing. On OCCASION. I love it when my man Chuck socks it to me in the ass” and “I was put on this earth for one thing and one thing only — sucking a footlong cock!”

Even if the film is well-produced, directed and acted (three MAJOR ifs), there’s also the worry that audiences will feel uncomfortable watching the young starlet reenacting the hard-partying lifestyle that brought her to her current SCRAM-bracelet wearing state in the first place.

“My issue isn’t with the graphic sex and language, but I do think it will be painful to see a very sad person’s life opened up to the masses,” the casting director said, sympathizing, “Linda Lovelace’s life hits too close to home to Lindsay’s.”

Lindsay should know – it’s not acting if you’re acting how you would normally, only in front of cameras and shiny lights. Somewhere between The Parent Trap and Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan learned how to be an actress. Shortly after Mean Girls and her stint banging Wilmer, she forgot and promptly started doing lines.

… maybe she should be in porn. At least it’d fit with her character. And freckled tits.

 

Lindsay Lohan has figured out how to beat the SCRAM

FP_5183738_Lohan_Lindsay_MAC1_061010Here’s Lindsay Lohan out shopping over the weekend with the porn movie money advance she was given looking like Linda Lovelace cooked and ate those 50 businessmen instead of gang-banging them. “What do you mean those TGIF Jack Daniels Barbeque Ribs are fattening? But i only ordered 30 portions and 20 to go!”

PS: Second set of pics are of Lindsay pretending to workout to burn all those Jack Daniels Ribs (she obviously did not get punched in the stomach because a massive coke cloud was not reported overshadowing the sun over the greater Los Angeles area). Third set of pics are of a bra-less Lindsay rewarding herself for her workout by leaving Bardot nightclub in Hollywood at 3am Sunday morning. Hey, there’s logic to her madness after all.

 

Lindsay Lohan shows her mellons for Jason McDonald Shoot

34560_Lohan2_123_216loWith Lindsay Lohan slated to earn around $100 for playing Linda Lovelace in Inferno (a little over the going rate for gang-bangs, but she’s a celebrity after all), it’s no wonder she’s doing one naked photoshoot after another. Except in this one the nipples are covered. Because showing them at this stage would definitely be improper for a junkie on her way to recovery. So she’s just going to stick to gang-rape scenes with men in suits for the time being. Wise thing to do, if you ask us. And it definitely won’t lead to hooking, it’s been tested.

PS: Second set of pics is of Lindsay showing her hunting skills in underwear on Maliby Beach (and trying to cover her SCRAM bracelet with furry boots). Which is very realistic considering that’s exactly what she does when she realizes the coke supply in her cupboard is down to 20%.

 

Lindsay Lohan will be brutalized in porn movie

gallery_main-0601_lindsay_memday_01Lindsay Lohan, who will play porn star Linda Lovelace in Inferno, will be thoroughly degraded and basically treated like trash according to a source that has read the screenplay. According to that source, in the screenplay she’s beaten to a pulp, verbally abused throughout the whole thing and forced to be gang-banged by a line of businessmen.

Screenwriter: Lindsay, i have to warn you, i want my movie to be very raw

Lindsay: No prob. Let me see the script for a second. “Kicks her around and calls her a whore”, yep, done that for a drink when i was out of cash, “throws her around and smashes her face on the table”, yep, happened that time when i really needed a cigarette, “ties her up and punches her face when she tries to talk back”, yep, covered that one when i needed a line or two real bad, “gang-raped by a group of businessman”, wow, that is definitely new. The suit and tie i mean. Well, isn’t that romantic?

Via Page Six:

But some of the sexual acts in the film, written and directed by Matthew Wilder, are so rough, it’s hard to imagine the movie making it to theaters in its current form no matter who plays Lovelace, Von said.

“Traynor kicks her to a pulp,” Von says. “She’s made to say terrible things about herself while in the middle of sex acts. After her boyfriend assaults her, he kisses her bruises and asks, ‘Does this feel good?’ ” Von added, “It’s very sensational. There are not so much plot devices as shock tactics.”

Before Traynor turns Lovelace into a hooker, he forces her into a gang-rape scenario with several businessmen — one of whom hums a tune from “Mary Poppins” while fondling her breast.

Von says, “The movie’s obviously designed to just outright disturb [with] the combination of childhood imagery and absolute outright depraved perversions.”

PS: Pics are from Memorial Day. Lindsay is wearing boots in an obvious attempt to hide the SCRAM bracelet. Stinky feet anyone?
 

Lindsay Lohan skips court because her passport was stolen. By terrorists. Or Amanda Seyfried.

63rd Annual Cannes Film Festival - Lindsay Lohan Spotted Out AtIf you were all wondering what kind of excuse Lindsay Lohan would use to bail on her court appearance today (because we all knew bailing out was an absolute certainty), well, here it is: Her passport was stolen (we were betting on alien abduction, but close enough).

Here’s TMZ’s report including her lawyer’s statement about Lindsay’s devastation concerning the matter:

Lindsay claims she actually went to the airport yesterday trying to get on a flight without a passport but was denied boarding. We’re told she had a reservation on the flight so she could make it back to L.A. for tomorrow’s mandatory court hearing.
Sources tell TMZ Lindsay has made an appointment with the U.S. Embassy tomorrow at 9 AM to get another passport so she can fly home.

“Lindsay is distraught because it was her intention to get back to L.A. today to do more alcohol education classes and appear in court tomorrow”, said attorney Shawn Chapman Holley.

Meanwhile, her attorney also spoke to E! News and told them that she’s doing everything in her power to get a temporary passport and return to L.A.

See, this is what we’d do if we were distraught we couldn’t learn more about how to avoid alcohol binging and we were instead stuck at the biggest party the film industry puts together for its members: Get drunk off our ass, try to get a few British Pop stars kicked out of clubs and bang Amanda Seyfried’s boyfriend because we’re not sure we’re ready to commit to our new lesbian girlfriend (all actual events). But what we wouldn’t do is apply for a replacement passport at the American Embassy (which she didn’t).

Seriously, if Lindsay Lohan doesn’t get more than a slap on the wrist or a few hours in jail we’re going to start kicking vaginas to vent our frustration. It’s only fair, right Michael?

UPDATE: This is what Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan had to say to E!News:

Dina:”We are still working with the embassy. Her passport was stolen. We have made a police report.”(Incidentally, a rep for the police in Cannes tells E! News there is no record of such a report, saying, “No, we don’t have any stole property reports filed under that name.”)

 

Lindsay Lohan flips back to lesbo-style with hot new cougar girlfriend

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Say hello to Julia Indrani Pal-Chaudhuri – for short, Indrani – the 36-year-old photographer who is rumored to be Lindsay Lohan’s new girlfriend.

The two, who reportedly met at a photo shoot last fall, have been seen together frequently, including at what Fox.com is calling a “sensual” Mother’s Day photo shoot.

Indrani , one half of the lens duo Klinko & Indrani, told New York Post today that she and Lohan “have been spending a lot of time together. I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot.”

When asked about the alleged affair by Us Weekly, Lohan said, “No, no, no… In NO way am I dating her.”

Lohan , 23, is in France for the Cannes Film Festival and is facing some major DUI court drama , with an upcoming probation hearing May 20. In the last six months, she has been fired from a movie set, broken up with her former lover, DJ Samantha Ronson, and  has  been photographed stumbling from parties and clubs.

Klinko , Indrani’s business partner, told the New York Post that the photographer, a Princeton grad, is “the opposite of a party girl” and is “a good influence on Lindsay.”

Indrani followers on Twitter have a lot to read into. On May 16, she tweeted about Linda Lovelace – the porn icon Lindsay is portraying in an upcoming biopic – as being “hot!!!”

Two days later she gleefully tweets that she’s “sitting in the sun celebrating still being alive.”

Also, when questioned about her involvement to Lohan,  Indrani tweets back “to be or not to be may be. ”

 

Lindsay Lohan throws drink at imaginary boyfriend’s girlfriend

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Lindsay Lohan “threw a fit” Saturday night in a New York City club, tossing a drink into a model’s face, according to a New York Post source. The model was with New York Rangers player Aaron Voros.

Voros, his girlfriend, and Rangers teammate Sean Avery were seated at a prime table at club 10ak. Lohan “wanted to be at their table near the DJ,” one of the Post’s multiple witnesses reports. LiLo didn’t want to sit with Voros, alleging he was her ex-boyfriend and she didn’t want him near her.

Voros denied knowing Lohan, pushing her over the edge to throw a drink into his model girlfriend’s face. Lohan demanded the entire table be moved out. Bouncers refused her and Lohan left shortly after.
“There was total drama for absolutely no reason,” a Post source said.

There are two explanations for this “drama”. Either syphilis is messing with Lindsay Lohan’s head and she genuinely thought Voros was her boyfriend, or it was really dark that night when she met his penis under the table (plus he only saw a mass of hair moving up and down) so he genuinely couldn’t place her. Either way, all this is behind her now and Lindsay is off to Cannes to promote her new struggling movie Inferno in which, as we reported before, she plays porn star Linda Lovelace. We’re guessing her promotional efforts will gravitate towards this direction:”Oh, mon Dieu, iz ziz Linzay Lohan on ze pavement? Pourquois iz she making love to a stheet dog? Oh, mon Dieu! Did she just made poo on ze pavement?”Oui, now we will see ziz movie of hers.”

 

Lindsay Lohan turns to porn to pay mounting debt

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Lindsay Lohan owes $600,000 on various credit cards (for those keeping track, that’s $106,856 more than Pamela Anderson owes in delinquent income taxes). So what’s her way out? Revive a vintage porn star’s 1970’s role in the movie “Deep Throat”. So in other words, right up Lindsay’s alley, but hopefully with a paycheck involved. Because you can only pay a drug dealer in kind for so long…well, at least until they figure out that kind of payment just rendered them barren for good.

“Lindsay owes credit cards $600,000,” a source told RadarOnline.com. “One card cut her off last week and it’s only a matter of time before all her other credit cards cut her off too.”

“One credit card company is going to discuss a payment plan for Lindsay, but if she doesn’t have the income and can’t make her payments, they are prepared to sue her.”

Last week, the New York Post reported she was bragging about playing Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace.

Although it was denied during the weekend that she will have any part in Rob Epstein’s “Lovelace”, Gossip Cop reported that she is still attached to the character but the movie will be “Inferno”, not “Lovelace”.

This other version of Linda Lovelace biopic is directed by Matthew Wilder and produced by Chris Hanley. Back in 2008, Anna Faris had been tapped to play the central character but she dropped out because the character is too dramatic and heavy for her at then stage. Months later, Rose McGowan stepped in as a candidate because she was touched by Lovelace’s tragic life but there was no further word about this.

“Inferno” will follow Lovelace who turned to be a feminist after starring in 1974 “Deep Throat”. Here’s a synopsis of the awesome plot for those who never heard about it:

A sexually frustrated woman (Linda Lovelace, credited as playing “herself”) asks her friend Helen for advice on how to achieve an orgasm. After a sex party provides no help, Helen recommends that Linda visit a doctor. The doctor discovers that Linda’s clitoris is located in her throat. She then goes on to work as a therapist for the doctor and performs a particular technique of oral sex – thereafter known as “deep throat” – on various men, until she finds the one to marry. The movie ends with the line “The End. And Deep Throat to you all.

Whether Lindsay Lohan is the final selection to portray the porn star may be answered next month during Cannes Film Festival. And if she doesn’t get the role, here’s a few suggestions of some equally artistic movies the primary role she can revive:

Gangbangs of New York
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
Saturday Night Beaver
Legally Boned
Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves)
When Harry Ate Sally
Romancing The Bone
Lord Of The G-Strings
Ocean’s 11 inches

Blown in 60 Seconds

Womb Raider
Schindler’s Fist
Shaving Ryan’s Privates

FYI, pics are from the Coachella Music Festival over the weekend.