Archive for the "Madonna" Category

Lourdes Leon & Rocco Ritchie: Lunch In Beverly Hills

Lourdes Leon Out For Lunch At Il Pastaio

Lourdes Leon and Rocco Ritchie went to have lunch with friends at Il Pastaio in Beverly Hills, Calif. on Monday (January 27). Lourdes, 17, was all smiles wearing a sweater and shorts. Rocco, 13, had his baseball cap on backwards and had on a plaid shirt over a t-shirt.

Meanwhile Madonna headed to the gym sporting workout gear and a star hat. It was also reported that she went to rehearse with Miley Cyrus for the We Can’t Stop singer’s MTV Unplugged Special.

According to US Weekly – a  source close to both said the planned duet came together “last minute” thanks to the efforts of MTV and their respective managers.

The show will air on January 29 on MTV.

 

View Slideshow »» Lourdes Leon Out For Lunch At Il Pastaio Lourdes Leon Out For Lunch At Il Pastaio Lourdes Leon Out For Lunch At Il Pastaio Lourdes Leon Out For Lunch At Il Pastaio Lourdes Leon, Rocco and some friends lunch at Il Pastaio Lourdes Leon, Rocco and some friends lunch at Il Pastaio Madonna hits the gym after a night at the Grammy's - Part 2 Madonna hits the gym after a night at the Grammy's - Part 2 Lourdes Leon enjoys Lunch with Friends

View All Photos »»

 

Race Matters: Madonna Called Her Son A N***** On Instagram And Gets Blasted

Screen Shot 2014-01-17 at 8.49.02 PM

Madonna Calls Son N-Word On Instagram

When will these celebrities learn? Madonna, who is no stranger to controversy, took to Instagram to share a picture of her son. Unfortunately she used the hashtag #disn***a. Then she deleted the pic and told angry people to get of her d***.

Sigh.

She gotta go. Click through for the next pic and Twitter’s good old-fashioned outrage.

bossiprss?d=yIl2AUoC8zA bossiprss?i=iUFhtohhcro:YBCMPHndoNA:D7Dq bossiprss?d=qj6IDK7rITs bossiprss?i=iUFhtohhcro:YBCMPHndoNA:gIN9
iUFhtohhcro
 

Madonna: Kabbalah With Her Kids

Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center

Madonna brought Mercy, 6, and David, 8, to the Kabbalah Center in New York City on Saturday (October 12).

The trio were coordinated in black and white clothes.

In Madonna’s interview with Harper’s Bazaar – she reflected upon her life now.

She said, “Ten years later, here I am, divorced and living in New York. I have been blessed with four amazing children. I try to teach them to think outside the box. To be daring. To choose to do things because they are the right thing to do, not because everybody else is doing them. I have started making films, which is probably the most challenging and rewarding thing I have ever done. I am building schools for girls in Islamic countries and studying the Qur’an.

“I think it is important to study all the holy books. As my friend Yaman always tells me, a good Muslim is a good Jew, and a good Jew is a good Christian, and so forth. I couldn’t agree more. To some people this is a very daring thought.”

View Slideshow »» Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center Madonna Takes Her Kids To The Kabbalah Center

View All Photos »»

 

Madonna & Kids: France Fun

Rocco Ritchie Rides His Bike On Madonna's Birthday

Madonna and her family are still on holiday in Ville Franche-Sur-Mer, France. On Friday (August 16) – which was the pop singer’s 55th birthday – Rocco Ritchie was seen
biking solo in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat.

A few days before the family – including Madonna’s boyfriend Brahim Zaibat took Lourdes, 16, and Rocco, 13, to ride jet skis.

Madonna thanked fans for all the birthday wishes.

She said via Instagram: Thank u all for your #birthday love! Help me celebrate my birthday, by donating to Raising Malawi to support the work of one of my Heroes, Pediatric Surgeon Dr. Eric Borgstein: http://bit.ly/mbdayborg. Revolution of LOVE!”

View Slideshow »» Rocco Ritchie Rides His Bike On Madonna's Birthday Rocco Ritchie Rides His Bike On Madonna's Birthday Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family Semi-Exclusive... Madonna Rides Jet Skis In France With Her Family

View All Photos »»

 

Madonna: It’s Kind Of “Uncomfortable” To See Lourdes Growing Up

2013 Billboard Music Awards - Part 2 **USA, Australia, New Zealand ONLY**

Madonna appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America on Friday to promote her EPIX concert documentary Madonna: The MDNA Tour when she shared how Lourdes, 16, and Rocco, 12, are growing up.

She said, “Ever since my daughter [Lourdes Leon] got an iPhone, she stopped talking to me. Seeing my daughter at 16 — it’s kind of uncomfortable. She’s still my little girl and she’s also a woman.”

As for her Rocco – he’s now “a foot taller” than her and has facial hair.

Shaking her head she added, he’s “looking at girl’s butts. Terrible.”

Last week she talked to Access Hollywood on the children traveling with her on her world tour.

“[It was] great and amazing to work with both of them,” she told Access Hollywood earlier this week.

She explained, “[They got to] travel the world and had to deal with all the ups and downs of doing shows outdoors. Rain, extreme heat, torrential downpours, hail, freezing cold. So pushing through any kind of limitations and having the attitude of the show must go one, no matter what [was] good training.”

As for junk food? The fit 54-year-old admitted to indulging.

“I’m guilty of eating Magnum bars before I go to sleep at night. French fries? Yes! I’ve had French fries for the last three nights!”

 

Madonna: My Kids Loved Working With Me

2013 Billboard Music Awards - Press Room

Madonna says it’s great to having a working family. She recently sat down with Extra at the Billboard Music Awards to talk about her MDNA tour and having Lourdes, 16, and Rocco, 12, help out on the shows.

Speaking to Jerry Penacoli she said, “It was great to have a working family… to me that’s my idea of fun, to be creative, to do what I love to do and see my kids working around me and earning their way in life. My daughter worked in the costume department and she loved it. My son was in the show, and he loved it.”

Asked on how she juggles motherhood with her career – she replied, “I try to find the right balance between being there for them and guiding them and also being an artist. I’m trying to find enough time in the day to do those jobs well.”

“I try to be very clear with them. This is my persona for work. What we aspire to do is to work and to be good people. If you don’t have those two things, fame is nothing, so I try to drill that into their heads.”

When the topic of meeting Kim Kardashian at the Met Gala came up – Madonna said it was the second time they had met.

She revealed, “I met her years and years ago when she was a little girl, believe it or not. She told me she was a huge fan of mine, and it was during the time I was wearing all of the rubber bracelets on my arms. I took off all of the bracelets and gave them to her and then I completely forgot about it. She reminded me when I saw her the other night. Now she’s a pregnant lady!”

As for the famous feud with Elton John – she confirmed the two had made up in Nice, France.

She said of their reconciliation, “After we kissed and hugged, he paid for my dinner, as he should.”

 

Madonna just doesn’t look old to me.

I know a lot of people say Madonna’s past it and has been for a long time but I don’t see it. Sure she’s had a lot of help staying young but that doesn’t really mean anything to me. I think it’s a woman’s right to choose to age gracefully or to opt to slow the aging process with the help of a surgeon. Madonna has chosen option number two and again, I think that’s just fine. I think she’s looks fantastic. In these photos from her concert in London, Madonna shakes it on stage just as well as any woman half her age and I have to give her serious credit for that. I don’t actually find her physically attractive in the traditional sense but I think her confidence is incredibly sexy.

tn madonna 9 Madonna just doesnt look old to me.

tn madonna 1 Madonna just doesnt look old to me. tn madonna 3 Madonna just doesnt look old to me. tn madonna 7 Madonna just doesnt look old to me.
See the rest of Madonna just doesn’t look old to me. pictures

© HQ Celebrity, 2012. | See pictures of all Celebrities |O69hLw09V_o

 

Twitter Wars: Madonna vs. Piers Morgan

Sometimes celebrities just hate each other for no reason whatsoever, and that definitely seems to be the case between Piers Morgan and Madonna. But… that doesn’t make it any less comedic.

Piers kicked off the feud when he told Britains’ Daily Express last week that Madge ‘is so boring. She is too vegan for TV. We have Lady Gaga now so Madonna is banned from my show.’

The Huffington Post reported, though, that Piers said that ‘he wanted President Obama, Mel Gibson and Jack Nicholson on “Piers Morgan Tonight,” which debuts in 2011.’ Well, somebody thinks they’re important, huh?

But, apparently, Madonna doesn’t think Piers is all that important. Her publicist, Liz Rosendberg, told PopEater that ‘ Madonna doesn’t know who Piers Morgan is but she’s a big fan of Lady Gaga.’ Woooow.

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Only hours ago, Piers took their feud to Twitter with the message ”Welcome to Twitter.  You’re still banned from my show.  Love Piers X.’

But, Madonna and her crew aren’t the kind to back down… and that was made apparent when Madonna’s manager, Guy Oseary, tweeted back the simple message of ‘Really?’ along with a letter that was sent by Morgan’s producer that actually invited Madonna to be on Piers’ British talk show. Oooo, buuuurn. Right? Wrong!

Because — without missing a beat — Piers wrote back ‘Madonna has only been banned from my CNN show, not my UK show, which sent that invite.  But I’m now banning her from that too.’ Wayull, he told her didn’t he?

But, it’s probably Madonna who get’s the last laugh here, because sources close to the pop diva seconded her publicist’s words by saying, ‘She doesn’t even know who he is.’

Twitter Wars -- Madonna vs. Piers Morgan . Twitter Wars -- Madonna vs. Piers Morgan  . Twitter Wars -- Madonna vs. Piers Morgan
 

Katy Perry vs. Madonna — Who Bra’d It Better?

Katy Perry and Madonna are both pop princesses, but that’s pretty much where their similarities end — other than the fact that they are both going through personal problems and they both looked scrumptious in their bras on their new cover ads. Madonna posed in a provocative black cut out bra for her new single Girl Gone Wild while Katy rocked a bejeweled brassiere for the March issue of Interview Magazine.

Katy Perry was nearly unrecognizable on Interview Mag’s cover, her beauty unbelievable in it’s intensity. Katy looked well for a woman who only announced her divorce two months ago. Plus, it only got worse for her when her estranged husband Russell Brand made his first public appearance with his new GF Oriela Medellin Amieriro. But, Katy’s new break up anthem, ‘Part of Me,’ is climbing the Billboard charts — which should definitely put a smile back on her face.

You may think that there would be no way that fifty-three year old Madonna could hold her own next to the beauty that is Katy Perry, but she honestly looked stunning. But, her personal life has been a mess as well. Not only has she had to face Elton John’s wrath, but she’s also gotten hell from Girls Gone Wild — oh, you know the one — mogul Joe Francis who thought that her new single Girls Gone Wild was a BIT too similar. He sent a cease and desist letter and Madonna ended up backing down, changing the name of her new single to GIRL Gone Wild. Nevertheless, personal problems or not, she still looked un-freakin’-believable!

Yes, back to the boobs. Did Katy’s dark allure win out? Or did Madonna’s age defy nature, putting her on top of the beauty scale? What do you think — who bra’d it better?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. Madonna Katy Perry vs Madonna Katy Perry Fifty-three year old Madonna Blue Haired Katy

 

 

Hollywood, Then and Now

I can’t believe it’s been almost 20 years since my senior year in High School.  I knew back then that when we gathered for the reunion,  we would probably need a few name tags to identify one another.  Generally we’ve all changed to a certain degree,  but at the 20 year mark,  we’ve all changed to the point where it would deem necessary the use of name tags.  I walked into a grocery store the other day and saw a Facebook friend of mine that I had not seen since high school and didn’t recognize him.  I wonder how many other people I’ve seen out and about and didn’t make the connection.  I know some of us have lost our hair, gained some weight, grew some facial hair (and that’s just the women) even came across a few, “HOLY Sh*t!  WTF happened to you?”  moments.  All in all in the end,  it’s always good to see an old friend. 

Even though we didn’t have any celebrities from our class,  I wonder even if we did, would I even recognize them?  I’m glad that I treated people kindly, the same way that I do now, cause you never know when you will run into a ‘blast from the past’.  Imagine if you were the guy in H.S that dated Octo-mom with thoughts of one day raising a family.  Imagine if you were someone that laughed at Bill Gates for being a nerd way back when.  Imagine if you made fun of Angelina Jolie for having big lips.  I find joy in knowing that a few of the ‘unpopular’ kids are now so rich they could buy the venue our reunion will be held in.  I smile from ear to ear when I hear stories of ‘fat’ girls becoming ‘sexy’ movie actresses,  hanging on a poster in your sons bedroom as he tells you to ‘knock’ before you come in.  Gotta love karma.

Angelina Jolie Ashton Kutcher Avril Lavigne Axel Rose Brad Pitt or Kristen Stewart Cameron Diaz Charlie Sheen Charlize Theron Cindy Crawford Curtis Jackson 50 cent Demi Moore Denzel Washington Farrah Fawcett George Clooney Gwen Stefani Harrison Ford James Dean Jennifer Lopez Jeremy Piven John Stamos Julia Roberts Kanye West Katie Holmes Katy Perry Kim Kardashian Kristen Stewart or Brad Pitt Lady Gaga Lil Jon Madonna Mariah Carey Marilyn Manson Michael Stipe Oprah Winfrey Pamela Anderson Paula Abdul President Obama Ryan Seacrest Then and Now Sandra Bullock Scarlet Johansson Sharon Stone Snoop Dogg Taylor Lautner Tom Cruise Will Farrell Winona Ryder

 

 

 

Did Madonna’s Super Bowl Halftime Show Suck Donkey B@lls?

Harps. Pom poms. Men in togas. Tightropes. Crazy horned headpieces.  Yep, that was pretty much Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show right there.

Madonna — the one wearing the crazy horned headpiece and strumming the mini harp — certainly gave us quite a show at halftime of the Giants/Patriots game. But… was it a good one? Hmm… good question. Madge being chosen as the headliner for the show has been the object of controversy for weeks, seeing as how her music isn’t exactly headlining right now. People weren’t sure if she would be able to measure up. And… well… let’s just be honest here — she didn’t.

The costumes chosen for the show were outrageously ignorant — Roman themed togas turned cheerleaders on crack turned gospel chorus; but you can’t really blame that part on Madonna, right? She wasn’t the one to come up with such a stupid concept. But, the music… yeah, we can definitely blame her for that one.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, ‘The music was good. It sounded just like it did on the album.’ Exactly! That is the point — it sounded just like it did on the album. And what does that mean, ladies and gents? It means that she lip-synched through the performance — which is simply shameful for someone who is supposed to be the Queen of Pop.

But, it wasn’t all bad. Nicki Minaj’s performance, even though it took up all of twenty seconds — was spot on. But, when is Nicki not spot on? And, MIA — the other female guest performer — did grace the cameras with the bird. That’s always awesome, right? When a performer pulls something that can’t be edited out quickly enough, like — mm-hmm — Janet Jackson’s nipple. :)

But, there was one awesome thing about this year’s halftime show — other than Nicki’s twenty second spit session — and that was when Madonna left the stage. Yeah… I said it. ;)

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll. Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show                  . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show                 . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show                . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show               . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show              . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show             . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show            . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show           . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show          . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show         . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show        . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show       . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show      . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show     . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show    . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show   . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show  . Madonna on Superbowl Halftime Show . MIA Gives the Finger!!!

 

 

Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like for 1/16/12

Hi there and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, my wonderful, faithful, avid readers! … Just kidding… Well, not really. I truly hope I have some fans out there somewhere. Anyway, enough about my ego, let’s get to Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like! OMFG!!! This is so damn funny! Only because I cannot stand the guy, though. Kermit the Kasey Kahl was arrested in Fresno, Cali at a nightclub called Club Habanos. No one’s quite sure why he was arrested, though I wouldn’t doubt if it involved him annoying someone. He seems to be quite good at that. He was chaffered in the back of a copper’s car to the booking station where he — according to TMZ — ‘took one of the prettiest mug shots we’ve ever seen.’ Yeah… The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad ‘star’ had just recently wrapped up taping VH1′s Relationship Rehab with ex-bitch– I meeeeeean, ex-girlfriend, Vienna. Yup… Can’t WAIT to see that show… As we heard from my buddy Zach earlier today, Ricky Gervais produced a big, fat FAIL as host of the Golden Globes last night. But, it seems that’s not the only thing he failed at. Kim Kardashian, whom Ricky called a cheaper version of Kate Middleton, didn’t think much of the jokes he shot in her direction. And by that I mean that she thought they were actually quite funny. Hmm… I don’t think that’s what he was aiming for when he referenced her 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries and  said he’s sat through longer James Cameron acceptance speeches. Yup… FAIL!!! Madonna stepped on Jessica Biel’s shitty dress while wearing her shitty dress… Who-Cares! If you got a chance to see my Golden Globe Red Carpet Edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly, then you would have seen that both Madonna and Jessica Biel got listed under Bad and Fugly! Both of their dresses were different levels of atrocious, so who really gives a who-ha if Madonna stepped on Jessica’s dress? I sure as hell don’t; they should both be burned in my opinion…. (Um, I was talking about the dresses, by the way. Just so you know…) In other Madge news: Elton John and hubby David Furnish are a wee bit peeved at the superstar. After Madonna was announced as the Golden Globe winner for Best Original Song, David Furnish went on the rampage! Blasting Madonna of Facebook, he started off with ‘Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!’ Then, he went on to say, ‘Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in it’s narcissism. And her critisism of Gaga shows how desperate she really is.’ Wayull… I might be stepping out on a limb here, but I think Elton and hubs may have cleared a shelf in their trophy room. Even Elton John himself said that Madonna had no ‘fuckin’ chance’ of winning the award. Wow… how embarrassingly sad… And, finally, Lil Kim shook her butt. Wow… that’s really newsworthy, isn’t it? [...]
 

How does Madonna feel about Lady Gaga?

Lady Gaga has said on multiple occasions that she is Madonna’s biggest fan personally and professionally, but does Madonna feel the same? Well, it certainly doesn’t seem like it. Madonna was asked about Gaga and some of her songs during some interviews released on Friday. Here are some of the highlights “I certainly think she references me a lot in her work. And sometimes I think it’s amusing and flattering and well done,” There’s a lot of ways to look at it. I can’t really be annoyed by it…because obviously, I’ve influenced her,” Madonna on the similarities between her song, “Express Yourself” and Gaga’s song, “Born This Way.” “When I heard it on the radio. I said that sounds very familiar. It felt reductive.” “A wonderful way to redo my song. I mean I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was…interesting.” So, I know Madonna said that she can’t really be “annoyed” by it…but it kind of seems like she is. She sounds really jealous if you ask me, I mean a lot of songs sound similar these days. It’s hard to be completely original, plus it’s not like they’re singing life changing songs. Lady Gaga wants to take a ride on your disco stick and Madonna wants to run naked in a rainstorm, okay? Madonna had her time to shine, and now it is Lady Gaga’s time. Eventually, she will fade out and someone else will come up and take over. It is how the world works. Let it go, Madonna.
 

Madonna is on the prowl for a 20-something again

Madonna attended the Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange Project dance competition in NYC on Saturday to find her new leading dance man which must mean only one thing: that she already sucked the life out of her 24-year old boyfriend Brahim Zaibat and he’s now confined to a wheelchair pissing in a bucket and begging her to show mercy and end his life. And from the looks of it, she’s already found the next fountain of youth but don’t you be fooled, she’s not dancing with him, she’s preparing to plunge her talons into his blood supply and commence the drainage. We just had to photoshop that out in case it scared the children. *Hissssss*

PS: If she’s looking more like 1200 years old instead of her usual youthful 897 years, it’s probably because she’s shown her face way too many times this past week. That or the rumors that she’s giving up on Botox and injecting her forehead with the blood of children because they’re making her look like a freak are actually true.

article-2061014-0EC7BF5200000578-856_468x653 article-2061014-0EC7BE4E00000578-152_468x743 article-2061014-0EC7BE0600000578-329_468x796 article-2061014-0EC7BE3600000578-367_468x746 article-2061014-0EC92EFD00000578-725_468x640 article-2061014-0EC92F5E00000578-621_468x659 article-2061014-0EC92F0500000578-505_224x628 article-2061014-0EC92F9300000578-345_224x628 article-2061014-0EC9846100000578-810_468x426

 

Thursday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.11.2011)

This Marc Jacobs perfume ad featuring 17-year old Dakota Fanning has been banned for “sexualizing children”.

Don’t know what to laugh at first. Madonna actually believing she can play director and hold a camera without it spontaneously bursting into flames or that she looks younger than the 30-year old actress who plays in her movie thanks to photo-shop.

Katie Holmes’ sad, well, everything is also brushed away thanks to the airbrushing fairies.

Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman have been inflating their lips with baby seal fat again.

Anna Friel is the naked Santa in the British Tatler.

Blake Lively and Oprah brought their cleavages to the Versace at H&M event in NYC last night. The first makes the world look better and the second just makes me want to microwave a sweet potato with a topping of cheese and beans.

Selena Gomez is already taking lessons from Lindsay Lohan in the art of subtle hookery.

Katy Perry and Russell Brandt making out at the LAX arrival terminal.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt continuing their humanitarian efforts in Tokyo while at the same time they’re being sued for firing a secretary because she has an illness that forced her to take too many sick days off.

Kristie Brinkley looks amazing for a 57-year old. Does she also eat newborn placenta for breakfast?

Christina Aguilera is now reduced to game launch appearances. Geeks worldwide rejoice!

Megan Fox looks like she’s been sleeping under a bridge the last few days. The wrath of Michael Bay can do that you.

Demi Moore is really not making an appealing case for why Ashton Kutcher should permanently forgo sex with pretty young things who are still alive.

And now the world’s oldest supermodel. At age 80, Carmen Dell’ Orefice (no seriously, that’s her name) is now modeling at runway shows because Bernie Madoff stole all her savings. Right after she plucks her beard and puts crazy glue on her hip joints. True story.

oh lola marc jacobs article-0-0EBC55C700000578-222_634x859 article-0-0EBC55CB00000578-499_634x834 article-2059350-0EB9CA3C00000578-160_634x836 article-2059350-0EB9CA3400000578-570_306x423 article-2059350-0EB9CA4000000578-315_306x423 article-2059350-0EB9CA4400000578-379_306x423 article-2059350-0EB9CA4800000578-547_306x423 article-2059370-0EB92E7200000578-465_224x492 article-2059370-0EB8FDCF00000578-153_468x807 article-2059370-0EB92D6600000578-300_468x878 article-2059648-0EBCED2400000578-489_306x709 article-0-0EBBC5BE00000578-149_634x824 article-0-0EBBC5A000000578-263_634x434 article-2059494-0EBBC5C600000578-402_306x399 article-2059259-0EB9814E00000578-576_306x568 article-2059259-0EB9814200000578-48_306x568 article-2059259-0EB9876A00000578-345_634x470 article-2059511-0EBB9B2500000578-89_468x709 article-2059511-0EBB961600000578-684_468x693 article-2059647-0EBCDD8C00000578-319_468x287 article-2059647-0EBCDD7200000578-628_468x286 article-2059647-0EBCDDCA00000578-863_468x286 article-2059647-0EBCDDD800000578-297_468x343 article-2059408-0EBAC97000000578-244_468x550 article-2059408-0EBA8B8800000578-954_468x387 article-2059408-0EBA9B3200000578-102_224x714 article-2059408-0EBA779800000578-59_468x813 article-2059408-0EBAE03300000578-449_224x714 article-2059408-0EBB0A1600000578-622_468x660 article-0-0EB96EBB00000578-869_306x727 article-2059263-0EB96EC700000578-255_306x465 article-2059331-0EB9B5D800000578-611_468x720 article-2059331-0EB9B75400000578-571_468x777 article-2059331-0EB9B79400000578-7_468x684 article-0-0EB9F3F400000578-37_468x619 article-0-0EB9F64F00000578-55_468x610 article-0-0EB9F73F00000578-890_468x706 article-0-0EBA189100000578-161_468x638 article-2059639-0EBCDBAE00000578-468_634x1033 article-2059402-0EBB11BB00000578-168_634x704 article-2059402-0EBC19BF00000578-254_306x772 article-2059402-0EBC190E00000578-431_306x772 article-0-0EBB11F300000578-597_634x948
 

Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (11.7.2011)

69-year old Harrison Ford: Ok kids, now gently place that ball in my hand. Oh, Jesus, time out. I think i just stained my pants.

JLO shows the Europeans some butt-cheek.

Priest gives Arnold Schwarzenegger a sympathetic hug. His eyes obviously lingered on Maria Schriver for a bit too long during his sermon.

Some Lady Gaga ass?

The MTV Europe Music Awards  took place Sunday night and we’re pretty sure the standard of music was pretty high mainly because the whole thing was hosted by Bar Rafaeli’s and Irina Shayk’s thighs. Plus, The Hoff was there.

Olivia Wilde shows some side-boob and Kate Hudson brings her lactating breasts to honor Clint Eastwood at the LACMA inaugural Art + Film Gala. Uma Thurman was also sexy, but only if you’re a trash collector and you’re attracted to garbage bags.

Madonna hides her face again. Must not have had time to pull those fangs back in.

article-2058347-0EAFB59000000578-983_634x459 article-2058347-0EAFB6D000000578-471_634x684 article-2058347-0EAFB6B000000578-950_634x755 article-2058347-0EAFB6BC00000578-844_634x728 article-2058430-0EAB6FAD00000578-168_224x631 article-0-0EAB6FE500000578-770_224x631 article-0-0EB253AB00000578-141_468x561 article-0-0EB2539A00000578-907_468x442 article-0-0EB2540A00000578-560_468x801 article-2058373-0EB2223100000578-772_634x878 article-2058427-0EB24BD800000578-779_634x739 article-2058427-0EB271BA00000578-694_634x721 article-2058427-0EB2731D00000578-274_634x865 article-2058427-0EB1B12000000578-374_306x701 article-2058427-0EB1C96200000578-783_306x701 article-2058287-0EB1E08100000578-497_634x460 article-2058287-0EB1BBF900000578-135_306x503 article-0-0EAF71CF00000578-799_306x707 article-0-0EAF700A00000578-21_306x707 article-0-0EAF734A00000578-185_306x679 article-0-0EAF576000000578-10_634x618 article-0-0EAF7AA700000578-715_634x840 article-0-0EAF7F0A00000578-969_306x625 article-0-0EAF7F0600000578-8_306x638 article-0-0EAF7F4600000578-186_306x625 article-0-0EAF58A400000578-136_306x557 article-0-0EAE7A9D00000578-652_468x757 article-0-0EAE794500000578-694_468x608 article-2058373-0EB22D6900000578-14_634x877 article-0-0EB2299200000578-191_306x580 article-0-0EB2296E00000578-255_306x580
 

Madonna’s brother:She was a bitch growing up just like she is now!

A week or so ago, we told you that one of Maddona’s siblings, Anthony Ciccone is homeless and living under a bridge. Well, now he’s spilled the beans in a lengthy interview with the DailyMail, telling the paper his family wouldn’t even care if he died, that Madonna was a slut and a bitch from an early age, and that she remains true to form even today. UPDATE: Anthony Ciccone mysteriously died when a flock of crows attacked him in his box and gouged his eyes out *music from The Omen plays in the background*:

Via DailyMail:

The last time that Anthony Ciccone saw his sister Madonna, she was stepping out of a luxury limousine, shattering the quiet of a peaceful American Midwest town as flashing camera bulbs and screaming fans greeted the arrival of one of the world’s most famous women.

Madonna was the star attraction at a film festival three years ago, while Anthony was just another face in the crowd.

Having watched his multi-millionairess sister stroll into the cinema, he staggered off for another night of hard drinking with the town’s vagrants.

Only two years separate Anthony and Madonna Ciccone in age, but they might as well be two centuries, given the wildly diverging trajectories their lives have taken.

While she went from their modest family roots in Detroit to find mega-stardom and a fortune that affords her multi-million-pound homes across the globe, it was revealed this week that her big brother sleeps rough under a bridge in a small town in Michigan.

While the Material Girl owns six expensive houses in London alone, just about everything Anthony owns can be fitted into the plastic shopping bag he carries around with him.

Homeless for the past 18 months since he lost his job at his father’s wine-making business, Anthony spends his nights dossing on the cold concrete of a grubby footpath under Traverse City’s Union Street road bridge, sharing damp, threadbare blankets with his companion, a fellow alcoholic named Michael Champ.

‘I’m a zero in their eyes; a non-person, an embarrassment,’ he tells me, his voice rising.

‘If I froze to death, my family probably wouldn’t know or care about it for six months.’

Anthony, who has considerable reserves of self-pity, but little capacity to be honest about himself, says he doesn’t need rehab, which is ‘boring’. He just needs a job, he says, and to meet the son he hasn’t seen for ten years.

‘My family seem to think rehab is some kind of magic panacea for life’s ills,’ he says, cracking open a bottle of his favourite tipple, Wild Irish Rose, a strong and ruinously cheap fortified wine.

He and his sister didn’t get on as children.

‘We hated each other — sibling rivalry, I imagine,’ he says, adding viciously: ‘She was a b**ch, just like she is now. She remains true to form. You have to give her credit for consistency.’

He hardly seems like the archetypal eldest sibling nowadays, but there was a time when he had to look after his seven sisters and brothers. Madonna didn’t make life easy for him, he says.

‘She’d sneak guys into the house when my father weren’t around and I was supposed to be responsible for us all,’ he says.

‘She’d be in the bedroom with some guy, and my little brothers and sisters would be standing outside with their ears cupped to the door, listening.

‘I’d have to bust the door open and kick the guy out. She didn’t forgive me for that.

‘To me, she was just an annoying sister; but you have to realise she’s a Leo, which means she’s always on stage.’

‘There isn’t much else that exists outside of what she’s doing,’ he says.He insists he has little time for Madonna’s music, and even less for her films.

‘My sister’s a terrible actress, but she’s a great entertainer and an excellent businesswoman.’

As for Madonna’s taste in men, Anthony says he was friends with her first husband, actor Sean Penn. ‘I used to drink beer with his brother, Chris, before he died.’

As if on cue, the memory prompts a long burp. Anthony describes Madonna’s second husband, Guy Ritchie, as ‘a little pompous … he gave me a lecture over lunch about kabbalah (the trendy Jewish mysticism also embraced by Madonna).

…Anthony has been beaten up by other homeless people, sustaining broken bones in his face and shoulder, and shattered teeth. He and his friend Michael never sleep properly: one always has to stay awake to watch out for the other.

Though Anthony claims he earns $10 a day collecting empty cans, he relies on the $700 a month his companion gets in disability benefits.

It doesn’t help that some people in town regard Madonna’s brother as something of a celebrity, and give him alcohol whenever he has no money to buy it himself.

Michael describes Anthony as ‘the most self-destructive person I’ve ever met’, and both men were hugely grateful when I offered to put them up in a motel room for a few nights.

Given that he refuses to accept the seriousness of his addiction, moments of honest reflection from Anthony are rare. But at one point, when I ask about his future, he shows that, behind all the bluster, he understands his situation.

‘The future’s like stepping off the precipice into the dark,’ he said, his voice lowering. ‘I’m pushing middle age, and that scares me.’

Given his circumstances — and despite having one of the most privileged people on the planet for a sister — it’s easy to understand that fear, and to share it with him.

 

Madonna’s brother is homeless and lives under a bridge!

You know how we always joked on this site that Madonna (here getting booed at her W.E premiere in London Sunday night) is a soulless gargoyle with the uncanny ability to suck your soul just by looking at you? Go figure, it’s actually true. Case in point, one of her older brothers who is currently so destitute that he’s battling nerve damage and frostbites from living under a bridge for so long. And the funny thing is, this piece of gem came about because a local news station was roaming around interviewing bums about the growing problem of homelessness in their city.

Anthony Cicone, who is 55 years old, told the Michigan Messenger that he has been homeless for over a year and fighting for survival on the cold streets of Traverse City, along with 14,000 of other destitute people.

“My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,”  said Ciccone, who added it annoyed him when people asked how he could come from such a high-profile family and end up sleeping under a bridge.

“You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times — why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I’m homeless on the street?” he responded. “Never say never. This could happen to anybody.”

Her brother’s last job was at his father’s winery, Ciccone Vineyard & Winery in Suttons Bay, Michigan, where he sold ‘Madonna Wine.’ He lost that employement early last year.

Since then he has been struggling to survive with no money coming in. “I don’t have any income, I’ve got to go collect bottles and cans, do odd jobs,” explained Ciccone, who relies on local churches and Goodwill for food.

Having made his home under the city’s Union Street Bridge, Anthony claims he is one of many residents of the street who suffered from cold-related injury during the blistery winter last year.

“You have no idea how gruesome it is,” he said. “You get nerve damage. That’s the milder stage, in the severe stage you have tissue damage, that is when you lose parts of your body. I got frostbite on my feet last winter.”

article-2052547-0E805E4000000578-462_468x640 article-2052547-0E805A9E00000578-528_224x707 article-2052547-0E805AA600000578-263_224x707 article-2052547-0E8059D400000578-767_468x721 article-2052547-0E8063BD00000578-595_468x722 article-2052547-0E80542F00000578-522_468x588
 

Thursday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.13.2011)

Kelly Clarkson is turning into a man.

Carla Bruni’s belly has reached epic proportions.

Olivia Munn and Tatum O’Neil strip down for the stripper movie Magic Mike. This one’s going to be a magical movie, isn’t it.

Madonna should know better. Bell bottoms don’t flatter an ewok’s figure.

Is Hillary Swank starting to suffer from flab-ass-itis?

Demi Moore takes time from Asthton Kutcher’s wondering penis to model for Ann Taylor.

Julia Robert’s 43-year old knees are holding up pretty well.

Lady Gaga is wearing a fancy garbage bag.

This has got to be the bottom for Christina Aguilera. Someone, just bring down that hatch and end this.

article-2048253-0E57817900000578-703_468x648 article-2048253-0E57819000000578-80_224x593 article-2048118-0E56521B00000578-643_634x815 article-2048118-0E584A5B00000578-269_634x768 article-2048118-0E5651E900000578-247_306x737 article-2048118-0E5652EF00000578-7_634x844 article-2048118-0E56520C00000578-527_306x737 article-2048191-0E567F8B00000578-288_468x695 article-2048191-0E567FA700000578-951_468x719 article-2048191-0E567FC100000578-296_468x673 article-2048312-0E56A01F00000578-816_468x743 article-2048312-0E56A01400000578-316_468x888 article-2048312-0E56A02700000578-339_468x822 article-2048457-0E58E01200000578-442_634x780 article-2048457-0E58E02900000578-715_634x544 article-2048457-0E58E03500000578-371_634x356 article-2048457-0E58E04200000578-678_634x452 article-0-0E59B37300000578-599_306x657 article-0-0E59C7F300000578-64_306x657 article-0-0E5938A300000578-737_468x596 article-0-0E5938C300000578-79_468x500 article-0-0E59389F00000578-301_468x670 article-0-0E57487200000578-403_468x388 article-2048078-0E5682C700000578-174_468x705
 

Madonna finally understands that her face is the fabric of nightmares

Because Madonna is adamant that no mortal shall ever cast his gaze upon her face ever again, here she is coming out of a Yom Kippur service on Sunday with a scarf covering her face and half her statuesque gargoyle body, until that is her son and a couple of bodyguards tried to alert her to the fact that she was heading towards a fire hydrant. Or so it seems. For all we know, a 19-year old dark boy could have been crossing the street. Her sense of smell is really strong these days.

1010-madonna-blanket-head-06-480x666 1010-madonna-blanket-head-02-480x371 article-2047439-0E4BC6B300000578-841_306x746 Madonna attends services on Yom Kippur with her children, NYC, USA article-0-0E4AD14A00000578-963_306x611 article-0-0E4AD09500000578-221_306x611 article-0-0E4C2D2400000578-302_634x688
 

Monday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Be Interested In (09/26/2011)

Lady Gaga attempts to ride a motorcycle with 50 metallic penises on it. All while wearing a tent (iHeardRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas).

Nicole Scherzinger just disloged Steven Tyler’s dentures with her tongue (iHeardRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas).

Sarah Jessica Parker’s feet have an uncanny resemblance to beet roots.

The magic of Photoshop: Ke$ha IS NOT A  Tree Trunk

Salma Hayek thinks riding around the airport in a wheelchair just for the heck of it is hilarious. The guy who carries her doesn’t think so.

Elisabetta Canalis is turning into a man. That was a close call George Clooney!!

Jennifer Love Hewitt will not go out anymore unless she’s wrapped in bandages that prevent her butt from exploding on the red carpet.

That piece of news we told you about Lindsay Lohan being the NEW face of a designer’s collection? This proofs how hillarious that sentence was.

Madonna can make her own children cry at the sight of her makeup-less face.

article-2041611-0E133E7600000578-928_634x564 article-2041577-0E133C5E00000578-726_634x906 article-2041577-0E133C9E00000578-539_634x770 article-2041611-0E13416E00000578-341_306x493 article-0-0E12F11200000578-38_634x665 article-2041577-0E12F0DE00000578-379_634x579 article-2041577-0E12F9F200000578-681_634x723 article-2041312-0E0AF28100000578-201_468x681 article-2041312-0E0B715900000578-300_468x549 article-2041312-0E0D0C9000000578-567_233x303 article-2041445-0E0EF1A100000578-161_634x846 article-2041445-0E0EF1A900000578-608_634x409 article-2041804-0E1304BE00000578-79_468x672 article-2041804-0E1306A600000578-790_468x777 article-2041804-0E13064200000578-922_468x505 article-2041583-0DEB2DC800000578-184_468x702 article-0-0E0F81DE00000578-762_468x722 article-0-0E0FA23E00000578-111_224x683 article-0-0E0FA23600000578-912_224x683 article-2041391-0E10AD5F00000578-851_468x723 article-2041683-0E127C9D00000578-54_468x692 article-2041683-0E127CA900000578-105_468x704
 

Tuesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You May Like (9.20.11)

Taylor Armstrong breaks through the barrier of Botox to grieve for her husband during last night’s episode.

Jon Hamm likes to make out with homely women (girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt).

Madonna tries to go incognito with boy-toy in NYC but her Joan Rivers meets gargoyle face gives her away.

Carla Bruni puts the last nail on the coffin we call “i used to be a hot supermodel but Nikolas Sarkozy ruined it all with his penis”.

Jodie Marsh is now a scary gang boy with fake tits.

Anna Faris finds co-star Chris Evans so, so funny (so funny she’d have sex with him in front of her husband if he agreed to it).

article-2039404-0DFDF8E200000578-37_634x328 article-2039534-0DFDEB5A00000578-862_224x511 article-2039534-0DFDEBCC00000578-142_468x632 article-2039534-0DFDEC5300000578-443_224x511 article-2038960-0DF33D3C00000578-672_468x697 article-2038960-0DF33D5A00000578-365_224x490 article-2038960-0DF33D3800000578-378_224x490 article-2039395-0DFB573E00000578-27_468x475 article-2039395-0DFB573E00000578-27_468x475 article-2039395-0DFB576C00000578-694_468x670 Jodie Marsh shows impressive 6 pack leaving gym article-0-0DFC35DB00000578-186_468x787 article-0-0DFC364700000578-263_468x851 article-0-0DFE730200000578-345_634x920 article-0-0DFE734700000578-585_634x910
 

Madonna: F**k you, I like roses!

Because revenge to an over dried over-botoxed beef jerky is as sweet as the blood of the 24-year old she currently stores in her dungeon, Madonna will just not let go of the hydrangea incident. He who dared bring her royal highness the ever so despicable excuse of a flower is still receiving her wrath, now in the form of a mocking YouTube Video. Did we also mention she had the guy’s three kids kidnapped and thrown in the Hudson River? Yes, with age comes wisdom.

article-2036623-0DD9ED6900000578-786_634x486 article-2036623-0DD9ED7200000578-888_634x486 article-2036623-0DD9ED7900000578-1000_634x498 article-2036623-0DD9ED8200000578-341_634x427 article-2036623-0DD9ED9400000578-32_634x605 article-2036623-0DD9ED5D00000578-315_634x669
 

Madonna Loathes You & Your Flowers

If you’re a reporter who is also big fan of Madonna, and you have the chance to see Her Majesty in person, at a press conference for her new film at the Venice Film Festival, whatever you do, do not bring her hydrangeas.

Absolutely everyone should be privy to this fact, since she is the Dark Queen after all. So be warned, if you don’t want to be fed to the hellhounds don’t EVER bring hydrangeas anywhere near Madonna.

If anything, at least we now know that the only way to protect a brown-skinned baby boy from the claws of pure evil is to line his crib with hydrangeas.

 

Madonna is Britain’s ‘Most Written About Celebrity’

madonna written about celeb
Madonna has once again proved that she is one of the most powerful celebrities in the world. The 52-year-old singer topped a recent study to determine the celebrity who has grabbed the most headlines in U.K. print since 2000.

Contactmusic reports,

The singer came top of a study to find the star who has grabbed the most headlines in U.K. print press since 2000. The research by Kantar Media found Madonna has been mentioned a massive 46,017 times over the last 10 years, while British music mogul Simon Cowell came second with 29,888. Kantar Media researcher Brian Merron says, “This shows why she’s hailed as a legend. That stickability factor in the consciousness of the nation marks her as a special talent and someone who is able to constantly re-invent themselves to change with the times.”
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Madonna’s Old Cleavage Impresses

I’ve got to say that these pictures of ">Madonna, for some Dolce & Gabanna ad campaign for senior citizens, are actually pretty good. She looks hot, look at those nice old boobs. I’m very impressed….. With some nerd’s photoshop skills. We all know how old and haggard ">Madonna has been looking these days, it couldn’t have been easy for the guy, having to stare at pictures of her for hours on end while he summons all the nerd powers he can to somehow make her look decent. Hats off to you guy.

     
Madonna Pictures Madonna Pictures
Madonna Pictures Madonna Pictures
Madonna Pictures Madonna Pictures Madonna Pictures
Madonna Pictures Madonna Pictures

Related Articles:
Monica Bellucci’s Breasts Are Captivating
Eva Mendes Topless Pictures From Vogue
Eva Mendes’ Perky Recovery
Nelly Furtado Picture Moment

 

Madonna’s New Dolce & Gabbana Ads Before Photoshop

Some before and after photos from Madonna’s Dolce & Gabbana ad campaign show some more than moderate amounts of retouching. Whoever did the photoshopping probably got paid time and a half for her forearms alone.

It certainly looks as if the photographs taken were retouched extensively; in the ad, her nose is slimmer, her jaw is not as wide, her neck is smooth, the definition in her arms has been smoothed away, and any visible veins in her hands or arms have been removed. A woman should not actually appear to have blood pumping in her body!

On that last pic I can see some poorly executed ‘shopping on da cuh-leeeeeevage’ too. I don’t want to spend too much time thinking about what THAT originally looked like! Madonna, please start wearing long sleeves whenever you venture forth from your lair because you look like Skeletor and make all the little kitties scared.

 

Madonna totally sizzles in new Dolce Gabbana ads

0
I’m not sure if D&G’s camera crew is getting more wiser each day or it’s just the magic of Madonna that’s working overtime for this new ad campaign, but the result is ahh-mazing. Seriously, this woman is 52 and she can put girls half her age to shame with such ease! How the hell does she still have that sizzling body?! I’m afraid I’ll go crazy if I stretch this thing any further. Let’s just call it a lesson learned. Hail Madonna! Check out the gallery after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

 

Madonna & Her Material Girl

Madonna rocked the red carpet with her 13-year-old daughter Lourdes (a.k.a. Lola) at the launch of their Material Girl juniors' line at Macy's Herald Square in New York City on Wednesday (September 22).

The mother-daughter duo were joined by Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen who is the face of the collection.

 

Madonna & Daughters: Raising Malawi

Madonna and her two daughters - Mercy, 4, and Lourdes, 13 - attended the first brick laying of the Raising Malawi Academy for Girls on Tuesday (April 6) in Gumulira, Malawi.

In a statement released to Celebrity Baby Scoop, Millennium Promise CEO John W. McArthur commented on Madonna's efforts.

In the space of just a few years, Gumulira has made major gains in food security, health services, education, and income-generation. We are incredibly grateful to Madonna and Raising Malawi for their partnership in making this progress possible, and their broader leadership in helping to highlight the dramatic and rapid inroads that can be made against extreme poverty."

The mother-of-four laid the brick with the inscription "DARE TO DREAM" and said it has long been her dream to build a girls’ school. The academy is scheduled to open in 2011 and will assist 500 orphaned children.

 

Madonna & Lourdes Attend Nine Premiere

Madonna and her 13-year-old daughter Lourdes made a stylish pair as they posed for pics on the red carpet at last night's New York premiere of Nine.

The evening was a star-studded affair: Along with the film's stellar cast, Naomi Watts, Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer, Goldie Hawn and many others put in an appearance.

The 51-year-old Material Girl, who is also mom to kids Rocco, 9, David, 4, and Mercy, 3, recently revealed that her family may not be complete just yet. When asked about another adoption she replied, "Never say never."

 

Madonna is the Scrooge of the Celebrity Charity World

MadonnaAP_450x3001
Madonna is becoming something of a skinflint (and we’re not even going to stoop as low as to suggest she chose Kaballah because she has a lot in common with the virtues of Jew living and giving…or not giving).  Because she’s certainly not into using her enormous wealth to help those less fortunate…unless the “less fortunate” happen to be 6 feet tall, have an incredibly playful and pliable penis and can take a lot of pain without screaming…in which case it’s like winning the lotto.

After all that talk of her donating millions to Malawi, here’s the way it boils down thanks to a newly obtained tax filing for her Ray of Light Foundation.

According to Ray of Light’s 2008 Form 990, Ray of Light is now worth over $6 million in assets.

But Madonna gave away a total of $459,000 last year. Forbes, on the other hand, placed her annual take at $110 million and put her at number 3 on its celebrity earners list. Her last tour grossed $280 million which makes her givings a very measly 0.4%!!!

Ray of Light has cut down to just a handful of charities, too. Madonna gave most of that money to Kabbalah or its associated causes. She sent $231,000 to Raising Malawi, which is a front for the Kabbalah Center; $150,000 to Kabbalah’s Spirituality for Kids; and $53,00o to the Gucci Foundation, which in turn was for Raising Malawi.

Her other two charitable contributions were to Jewish Big Brothers/Sisters of Los Angeles ($10,000) and $15,000 to the T. J. Martell Foundation for Cancer Research. Ray of Light actually paid more than that in “investment fees” ($37,000). That’s pretty sad.

What this also means is that in the year, 2008, that Madonna was special guest at AmFar’s Cinema Against AIDS in Cannes, the singer donated no money from Ray of Light to that charity or to any other conducting AIDS research.

She doesn’t even give money to MusiCares or the Grammy Foundation. I guess we can scratch her name as a contender for MusiCares’s Person of the Year.

Madonna fares very poorly by comparison with buddies like Rosie O’Donnell and Barbra Streisand, or even Oprah Winfrey. And she’s way behind Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Paul Simon, Steven Spielberg, Sting and Trudie Styler’s Rainforest Foundation.

 

Madonna, will you take Jesus to be your lawfully wedded child slave?

spl98405_00211

Fresh from her failure to adopt the little Malawian child, Madonna turned her attention to another child, Jesus and thought, why not? “He’s kinda dark too, cute as heck…similar age give or take a few years, and he can already speak English so i won’t have to spend money on tutors…the only problem is that pink room i already had prepared for a girl…oh, well, we’ll paint it blue, no biggie”.

The only issue is that Jesus is of legal age to run away if he ever wakes up in the middle of the night to pee and discovers there is a tube running from one of his veins to Madonna’s bedroom in the middle of the night, so Madonna thought it best to lock him down the best she can…by marrying him.

The Mirror reports the pair are planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony in New York, with Jesus ditching his Catholic faith in favour of his sugar mama’s religion of choice (as if he ever had a choice).

“They are totally besotted with each other and he’s really helped Madonna through this tough time,” a source told The Mirror of Jesus and Madonna’s lurve.

“It wasn’t that the relationship went off the boil, it was more a matter of Madonna wanting to concentrate on her adoption bid of Mercy and they wanted to keep a low profile while that became the main focus.”

“Madonna was devastated when the adoption was rejected the first time but now she wants to lavish some attention on Jesus and she’s keen to make sure they have a solid relationship for all the children’s sakes.”

Madonna’s kids Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight, and David, three, are apparently fond of their mom’s new “best friend”.

“Lourdes teases him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young,” said the source. “She likes him, but loves to wind him up.”

Yeah, watch Madonna become Mia Farrow and come home one day to find a grown-up Lourdes “being babysat” by Jesus on his knees. But since Madonna is as angelic as a pissed-off demon on a good day, we’re estimating Jesus will be thrown into a machine-shredder and Lourdes will be imprisoned in a Kabbalah dungeon until her mother dies…which unfortunately for her won’t happen this century..

 

Madonna, a bodyguard, cleaning lady, and bordello whore all in one

57357772

It’s official: Madonna is not just a blood-sucking, testosterone-pumped vampire craving the flesh of the young and innocent. She is a stupid blood-sucking vampire after the flesh of the young and innocent willing to pay thousands of dollars to Louis Vuitton to make her the ridicule of the fashion world…and we couldn’t be more pleased.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute Gala in New York concentrated a lot of peculiar and over the top outfits, but Madonna’s “i’m a high-end cleaning lady who can also service your physical needs but can suck out your endocrine system if you dare not like it” costume topped it all…literally…that aqua bow stuck above everyone else’s head…

A close second was Rihanna who came to the gala accompanied by shoulder pads on steroids. Enjoy the madness of Haute Manure, er, Haute Couture…

 

Lindsay Lohan Is Madonna

Lindsay Lohan Pictures

Here’s Lindsay Lohan dressed up like Madonna from her ‘Like a Virgin’ video from the 80′s for a photo-shoot in Glamour magazine’s special American Icons issue. I don’t know who the hell Lindsay thinks she is? She hasn’t been a virgin in about a decade, wait how old is she like 22? So just over a decade. Ha! Cause she’s been known to sleep around, you guys get it, you’re on the ball. I can’t wait for this issue 20 years from now with some young starlet flashing her lady junk as a coked up Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan Pictures

Related Articles:
Lindsay Lohan’s Breasts Are Looking Healthy
Lindsay Lohan’s Topless Pictures Make Me Hungry
Lindsay Lohan See Through Pictures
Lindsay Lohan’s Brings Out Her Lesbian Breasts