Archive for the "Marilyn Monroe" Category

George Lucas Why Do You Hurt Me?

Dear George,

Can I call you George? Probably not, but who cares. It’s not like you will ever read this, or better yet, even respond to it.  I remember going to the movies with my dad back in 1977…we drove in his yellow Toyota pick up truck…you know…like the one from Toy Story?…even down to the “YO”… to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, Ca.  I remember standing in the longest line I have ever seen.

 

There was an excitement in the air and nothing past or present can compare to it.  When we finally got to the front of the line momentum continued to build as I came across the largest Star Wars posters my little eyes had ever seen.  My Dad told me that I was about to watch one of the most amazing movies of my life.

 

 

Ok, so back to 1977.  He bought me popcorn and a small coke as we settled into our seats.  Finally, the lights dimmed as a hush traveled through the packed theatre.  I don’t remember the previews, but I do remember the roar of cheers as the fanfare from 20th Century Fox came up on the screen. It was followed by a cheesy, early version of your Lucafilm Limited logo and then the most amazing movie score ever.  It only got better from there…suddenly there were these words flying up the screen that I couldn’t read at the time because I was only 3 years old.  Then suddenly appeared the most gigantic spaceship ever, followed by yet again, another most gigantic spaceship ever!  Fast forward two hours later as the end credits began to roll, I knew I had seen something amazing and memorable.

 

 

Years later you came out with the prequels and my eldest son was able to experience Star Wars at the movies with his Dad, me.  It was again, truely amazing and memorable to share in a galaxy, far, far away for the second time in my life. We are a family of Star Wars fanatics because of it.

 

 

Even my wife is a fan, I have a picture somewhere of her 9 months pregnant wearing my Stormtrooper helmet in the kitchen.  She’s actually more like Darth Vader, but let’s just leave it at that.

 

 

I’m sure if you haven’t already, by now you must be asking, “What is your f*ckin point?!” I can hear those exact words,  in your voice echo,  in my head because I actually have a friend who personally knows you,  and she says you’re kind of a d**k.  So anyways, the point to all this Zuckus, (see what I did there?  I was going to put ‘ruckus’, but thought the name of one of the Bounty Hunters from Episode V was more fitting to keep with the whole Star Wars theme.  Effing hilarious.)

 

 

Ok,  George,  the point is…Why do you want to hurt me?  It started with all the remakes,  Special Edition this,  Special Edition that.  Then you hired all these crappy actors to portray these iconic characters.  Let’s face it,  your CG characters have better acting chops.  Hold on before you start to argue,  I’m not finished.  I let all that crap go…I even bit my tongue as you messed with the Original Trilogy.  Really?  Did Luke really need to scream like a bitch while falling,  after getting his hand cut off by Vader?  That was some Taun-Taun sh*t.

Then a couple weeks back as I’m watching the Superbowl,  I see Darth Vader pitching for Volkswagon???? (Though I have to admit, last years commercial was great! Kudos.) Now you’re re-releasing the movies all over again in 3D?????  Which will undoubtebly be followed by box sets, and more Special Editions, etc, etc.  When will you just stop George?  You’re ruining my childhood and some special memories that go along with it.

 

 

You know how certain events happen and they carry such an impact you know exactly where you were when it happened?  And who you were with?  Like when Bin Laden was shot and later turned into fish chum?  Everyone remembers where they were.  I know exactly where I was and who I was with when I first saw Star Wars…The first time Darth Vader revealed to Luke, “No, I am your father…”,  the first time I saw AT-AT’s walking on Hoth,  the first time I saw Yoda whip out a lightsaber,  or Darth Maul pull one out that had two blades…I’ll stop here so I don’t lose my female fan base,  but you get my drift right George?  You understand what I’m getting at right George?  Do you really want to hurt me?  Do you really want to make me cry?  Huh?  Well do ya George?

 

 

a long time ago, in a ghetto far, far away A New Hope Final Scene Chinese_Theatre_Star_Wars_1977_Hollywood-Cement-Prints I saw Star Wars Official Stormtrooper Business Opening Chase Star Wars 3D Star Wars Mann's Chinese Theatre 1977 Star Wars Poster Stormtrooper in Training Stormtrooper on Maternity Leave VW Darth Kid Who The Fock Is This Chick
 

Dear Shae, Besides cooking, what are some fun things to do with butter? – Alice G.

Dear Shae, Besides cooking, what are some fun things to do with butter?

-Alice G.

 

Dear Alice,
You’re weird. :roll:  If you’re talking about with your kids, I suppose you could do butter sculptures?

Butter Sculpture

If you’re talking about with your boyfriend or husband, I suppose you could use butter as you would use oils, but I don’t recommend it.

"Butter?! Sounds kinky...I'm in."

 

Personally I think its more fun to play with the box that it comes in. Case in point, check out my handy work.  I cut her knees out and pasted them over the stick of butter she was holding originally. I hope you enjoy my artistic genius.

 

Artistic Butterwork

Have a questions you’d like Shae to answer?

 

 

Friday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (09.30.2011)

Ke$ha arriving in Brazil wearing a sea mammal on her face. Definite improvement.

Lindsay Lohan and her third “mark” in a week (seen here in Paris). Somebody gotta pay those bills!

Michael Douglas tries to eat a hot-dog but it’s hard without the dentures.

Anderson Cooper now brings Lamas to work.

Jason Alexander is wearing a hairpiece and is proud of it.

Michelle Williams plays a naked Marilyn Monroe quite well.

Stills from The Avengers are out and it’s all about Scarlett Johansson. As it should be.

Kim Catrall and her cellulite-ridden thighs make for an arresting sight.

Lacey Schwimmer is going to be as fat as Chaz Bono by the end of the DWTS season.

Jessica Alba’s not pregnant anymore, so those “niceness” hormones are gone. The bitch is back!!

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Megan Fox Removed Her Marilyn Monroe Tattoo Because It Brings “Negative Energy”

In the latest issue of the Italian magazine Amica, Megan Fox confirms that she’s having Marilyn Monroe’s face removed from her forearm. She explains:

“It’s a negative character, as [Marilyn Monroe] suffered from personality disorders and was bipolar … I do not want to attract this kind of negative energy in my life.

“I did it when I was 16-years-old because I was a fan of Britney Spears. The only time I tried to imitate someone else. But then I thought it was tacky so I removed it when I turned 20.”

In other words, she didn’t like the tat anymore, but wanted to say something interesting and kooky so the media will bite and flood the internet with her quote for publicity…Damn it! We fell right for it as well!

Bah, let’s just focus on the only thing that ever matters when it comes to Megan Fox, her hotness (seen here wearing a form-hugging mini dress and being interviewed on the set of her new film “This is Forty”):

Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles Megan Fox, wearing a form-hugging mini dress, and Leslie Mann are interviewed on set of their new film "This is Forty" filming in Los Angeles
 

Michael Jackson’s glove more precious than Albert Einstein’s brain!

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It was Michael Jackson magic at full force at the Icons and Idols auction, organized by Julien’s Auctions, in Beverly Hills on Saturday. A single-studded glove worn by the late King of pop on his “Bad” tour in the late 1980’s sold for $330,000, whereas an X-ray of Albert Einstein’s brain managed to command a meagerly sum of $38,750.

According to Contactmusic,

The items, a fedora which sold for $72,000 and a glove which reached $330,000, were part of the star’s wardrobe for his ‘Bad’ tour in 1980s and were sold through Julien’s Auctions as part of their ‘Icons and Idols’ sale. A jacket signed by the ‘Thriller’ hitmaker - who died from acute Propofol intoxication aged 50 in June 2009 - was bought for $96,000.

While the Michael Jackson collection - featuring over 100 items from the star’s life and career including a custom-made costume for his friend and companion Bubbles the chimp - took centre stage at the auction in Beverly Hills, a number of other items generated huge interest at the sale. Late Beatles legend John Lennon’s gold-braided military jacket - made famous in an iconic 1966 Life magazine photo shoot - reached $240,000, exceeding its estimated word of $150,000 and $200,000. An X-ray of Albert Einstein’s brain went for $38,750, while a pair of Marilyn Monroe’s empty prescription bottles, sold for $18,750.

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Marilyn Monroe voted the greatest blonde of all time

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Here’s another fresh reason for Marilyn Monroe fans to celebrate and feel proud. The legendary Hollywood icon slashed some of the most famous blond heads to clinch the top spot in a new poll to ascertain the greatest blonde of all time.

Contactmusic quotes a spokesman for Clairol Nice ‘n Easy - the company which commissioned OnePoll to carry out the survey - as saying,

Marilyn Monroe has always been known for her iconic blonde hair. But it’s amazing to think that even now, almost half a century after her death, she has still beaten modern blondes to the top spot. Her hair is synonymous with 1950s glamour but it has stood the test of time against hair styles and colours which have come and gone over the years.

So true! Anyway, congratulations to all the winners. Hit the jump to see the top twenty blonde babes of all time.
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Paris Hilton Attempts to Be Classy

Don’t worry, Paris. Dressing like a piss-poor transvestite Marilyn Monroe impersonator didn’t make us forget about the $35 million lawsuit you have coming at you for not wearing hair extensions. … … which, just to note, that you’re STILL not wearing.

Maybe Tease!, the new fragrance she is pimping while dressed as a high class whore, will earn her a fraction of the $35 mil she owes. If not, she can come to us for paid blowjobs… we know she’s not b’low that.

Paris Hilton tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease Paris Hilton glams it up for the launch of her new fragrance, Tease
 

Paris Hilton makes me cry

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I’m a die-hard fan of Paris Hilton and just as many of my friends take pride in turning a blind eye towards Courtney Love’s black deeds, I can go to any extent to overlook the most serious flaws of Paris. However, I can’t persuade my heart to pull this trick today because I’m dead against anyone trying to imitate Marilyn Monroe. Well, here’s my favorite socialite trying her best to cash in on Monroe’s sexy image at the launch of her new fragrance and ending up like the rest of those imitators - looking like a soulless, stupid woman who is desperate to look as sexy as Marilyn Monroe. Why Paris?! Check out the gallery after the jump.
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Amy Winehouse has Hollywood dreams

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Amy Winehouse is eying a career in Hollywood and is reportedly hoping to make the transition from music to movies very soon. And don’t you dare label this as another gimmick by Wino because she has already enrolled for acting lessons at the same drama school that was attended by Dame Helen Mirren. Not only this, but Wino has also decided to die her hair permanently blond to get a step closer to her idol, Marilyn Monroe.

The Daily Star quotes a source close to Wino as saying,

Amy has enrolled for acting lessons at the Central School of Speech and Drama in north London. She’s a natural born drama queen and loves being the centre of attention. Everyone close to her thinks it’s a great idea and believes she could make the transition from singer to actress quite easily. Amy’s been saying for ages she’d like to live in LA and she would love more than anything to get involved in the acting scene in Hollywood.

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Naomi Watts & Her Bike Boys

Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber were spotted on their bikes with their two boys- Sasha, 2 1/2, and Kai, 1 - after grocery shopping at Whole Foods in New York City today (June 8).

The boys looked so cute in their toddler seats while mom and dad cycled back home.

The 41-year-old mother of two is set to star as Marilyn Monroe in Blonde, based on the bestselling 2000 historical novel by Joyce Carol Oates.

 

Kelly Brook to pose naked for

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Kelly Brook has given us all another reason to feel like a proud fan. The sizzling babe is all set to go au naturel for Playboy magazine later this year after bagging a whopping $500,000 deal to pose naked for the cover shoot. It’ll be a two-day shoot in the Mediterranean and will put Kelly in the elite class of babes who posed naked on the cover, including the legendary Marilyn Monroe who graced the very first Playboy cover in 1953.

The Sun quotes a source as saying,

This is a huge opportunity for Kelly who is without doubt one of the world’s most beautiful women. Playboy is an iconic publication which is known across the world as a sophisticated title. Kelly can’t wait as they are promising a very arty shoot. It’s a real honour to be asked to do Playboy as obviously they are very picky about who they want. And by the same token it’s a real coup for Playboy as there probably isn’t a red-blooded male who won’t be looking forward to the pictures.

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Naomi Watts Touches Down In France

King Kong star Naomi Watts arrived yesterday (May 14) in Nice, France with her two sons Sasha, 2 1/2, and Kai, 1. The busy mom looked exhausted while she made her way through the airport with her blue-eyed boys, while partner Liev Schrieber stayed back home and did not join the bunch.

Watts is in town for the 63rd Annual Cannes Film Festival where she is in promoting Woody Allen's film You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger as well as the film Fair Game which she partnered up once again with 21 Grams co-star Sean Penn.

The actresses film career seems to be thriving, to put it mildly, and word is she has been slated to star as Marilyn Monroe in a new biopic.

 

Jessica Alba has really warmed up to Kate Hudson’s privates

SPL175589_001Here’s Jessica Alba pretending to be saving Kate Hudson from a Marilyn Monroe moment at the premiere of their new movie The Killer Inside Me in NYC on Tuesday night. But we all know better, right guys? Shhh, you don’t even have to say anything, just relive the whole thing in your head the way it’s supposed to be. And on that note, Kate Hudson really wants you. Go, boys!!

 

Marilyn Monroe X-ray up for auction

monroe xray
Here’s another chance for Marilyn Monroe fans to get lucky and prove their love and loyalty for the Hollywood icon. An intimate snap of Marilyn - an X-ray of the star’s chest - is slated to go under the hammer at an upcoming auction by Julien’s Auctions on 26 and 27 June, 2010 at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas.

Contactmusic reports,

The medical photograph was taken at a Florida hospital in 1954 when the Some Like It Hot actress was being treated for womb condition endometriosis. The X-ray, which shows the star’s ribs as well as the outline of her famed cleavage, was printed with her married name DiMaggio - at the time she was going through a divorce from baseball legend Joe DiMaggio.

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Megan Fox Shows Us Her Panties

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If you close your eyes and wish real hard, it’s almost like Megan Fox stripped down to her itty bitty panties just for you. Once you get back to reality, after a sweaty and awkward 10 minutes, you’ll realize that this was a photoshoot for Armani. True, it wasn’t for you, but it doesn’t make it any less sexy.

If there is one beef that the public should have with Megan, aside from her not blowing all men she ever comes in contact with, it’s her stupid tattoos. Things start to get good and sexy when she is half naked until you catch a glimpse of that atrocious Marilyn Monroe tat on her forearm. Marilyn was sexy in her own right, but seeing her black and white visage on a body part of Megan’s is just creepy.

Unless it was on her vagina. Then it might be kind of sweet… and spawn some awesome pussy nicknames.

 

Cheryl Cole is the world’s most photogenic woman ever

cheryl cole
And here’s a quick one to wrap up the day in good spirits. British babe Cheryl Cole has been voted the “world’s most photogenic woman ever” in a poll conducted by Nikon.

Marie Claire reports,

The Girls Aloud lovely beat off competition from runner up Audrey Hepburn and third-placed Angelina Jolie to take home the title. During the survey, conducted by Nikon, 4000 British women were asked to rate their most photogenic woman ever. And the famous Mrs Cole - who fronts a beauty campaign for L’Oreal - came out top.

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Tila Tequila’s fiancee, heiress Casey Johnson found dead

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Casey Johnson, an heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune and Tila Tequila’s fiancee, has died in L.A. Her body was discovered Monday morning, although according to several sources, she was dead for several days before her body was discovered.

She was 30 years old. Her father is Woody Johnson – owner of the New York Jets. She has an adopted daughter. Johnson brought Ava Monroe—named after her idol Marilyn Monroe—home from Kazakhstan in 2007, but family members worried the heiress did not care well enough for her daughter, forcing the child’s grandmother Sale Johnson to take her in.

Johnson was arrested in November for grand theft — the Band-Aid brand heir allegedly stole jewelry, clothing and a legal document from an ex-girlfriend.

TMZ spoke to Tila Tequila last night and she told the website that the two were fighting last week and that Casey stayed at Tila’s house on the 28th. Tila tried contacting Casey on the 29th because Casey had left her dogs behind. Tila says Casey’s phone has been shut off since the 29th and she was not able to make contact.

Meanwhile, Tila Tequila continued twittering despite claims she wanted to “mourn in privacy” and consistent with her constant need for attention even made up the story that Casey was not dead, but in a coma:

“This is a very heartbreaking time for me. I just want some pricacy as I deal with the loss of my Fiance Casey Johnson. I’m heart is shredded
- I just got news that my fiance is not dead but currently in a coma!!! Omg please pray that she will make it! Hang in there my love please!!!
- I know u can feel me Casey! Dot let go! I’m almost home baby please hang on! We have a beautiful life planned out for us! I LOVE u! Hang on!
– I’m still in shock! Once again thank U for the outpour of love and support. I just wish to have some privacy at this heartbreaking time.
- R.I.P my Angel. @caseyjonsonJnJ u will forever be in my heart! I love u so so much and we will Marry when I see U in Heaven my Wifey”

Johnson — who also tweeted frequently — last tweeted on December 29 at 1:13 AM. The LAPD has opened a death investigation.

 

Video Of Marilyn Monroe Smoking Reefer Sold For $ 275,000


A antique video just surfaced of Marilyn Monroe, the famed dope head, smoking some greenery with her girls.

Pop the top and watch the video that was just sold for almost $300K

Is that worth $300,000? They better be doing ’some other stuff’ with each other after they hit that joint for $300,000. SMH.

 

Marilyn Monroe smoking marihuana in home movie (with video)

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A recently unearthed video purports to show Marilyn Monroe smoking marijuana with at least one other person. The mute home video was filmed 50 years ago, and it shows Monroe sitting on a couch with what looks to be a large joint in her hand. The film then cuts to her, another person on the couch and someone sitting in front of Monroe. The person sitting next to Monroe passes her the alleged joint from which she takes a puff.

The reel-to-reel silent, colour film taken at a private home in New Jersey was recently purchased by collector Keya Morgan for $275,000 (£180,000) from the person who took the film, who has asked to remain anonymous.

The copyright of the image will be put up for sale on eBay later this week, Morgan said.

The actress appears happy and relaxed at a small gathering of friends that Morgan dates to 1958 or 1959, based on her appearance.

‘This is the late Fifties so she is already very famous, but this is a personal side of her we’ve never seen before. People have never seen her in such a relaxed pose,’ Morgan said.

At one point she is passed a cigarette and takes a puff but does not appear to inhale deeply. Later she appears to take a sniff of her own armpit and laughs about it.

The person who made the film confirmed that the cigarette contained marijuana, saying: ‘I got it (the pot). It was mine. It was just passed around.

‘It was not a party. It was just a get-together. You know, come over and hang out.’

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Desperate times call for desperate measures:Lindsay Lohan simulates threesome for magazine

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Lindsay Lohan has posed topless for an upcoming issue of French magazine ‘Purple’. She has been photographed by Gucci photographer Terry Richardson known for his racy photo shoots. In the shoot she can be seen simulating sex with both a man and woman. No word if Lindsay demanded to take the “lesbian” chick in the photo shoot home as a freebie…or at least the guy if the girl had issues sleeping with an emaciated Santa Claus of STDs or at the very least with crotch lice (because guys are more into risky stunts when it comes to where they stick their penis in).

And just to remind everyone how life for Lohan didn’t always evolve around peddling for free cellphones, calling friends to pay her booze tap and hanging around bathrooms so she can lick traces of coke found on the sinks of parties she’s crushing (no we take that back, it was always like that, but back then people still insisted on paying her to do something), she had once turned down a $700,000 offer to appear topless in Playboy magazine (a big phew for all of us who didn’t want to experience what a gyno experiences when a torn vagina with yeast infection and orange pubic hair turns up and demands a pap smear) .

She has, however, bared all on one previous occasion in a photo shoot for New York magazine in which she dressed as icon Marilyn Monroe (see pic).

Meanwhile, Lindsay was busy preparing Thanksgiving dinner with her family at their home in Long Island, New York, according to reports. Lindsay’s mother Dina said: “Lindsay is making the garlic mashed potatoes. They are amazing!” But she left behind the part where Michael Lohan was invited and that the mashed potatoes were laced with arsenic. Michael, Noooooooo!!! They want to kill you like Snow White!

Well, since it’s already The Day After, it’s probably a good time to start googling the words “corpse”, “floating” and “Long Island sound”. Think we’re come up with something big…

 

Michael Bay’s crew extracts revenge from Megan Fox

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Megan Fox makes a lot of stupid devoid-of-thought remarks. One of them was about Transformers Director Michael Bay, accusing him of being like Hitler on his sets, and therefore, a nightmare to work with. Apparently these remarks really upset some of Michael’s crew members who posted their bitchslapping response on his website.

It’s a long response, but pretty much sums up what we knew about sweet-as-thorns Megan: She’s as smart and witty as a roadkill, as friendly as a hyena looking for her cubs and (this is a new learning) as attached to historic monuments as a deathrow inmate ever was to the electric chair…yet somehow she is still 100% bang-able…damn it, what’s wrong with us? Seriously, that was just rhetorical…there’s nothing wrong with us…as long as she doesn’t carve our flesh out while using us for mind-blowing sex, we’re good…

“This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.

Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.

Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional.

We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We’ve spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.

We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sourpants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.

Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such the grump of the set?

When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) — easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.

Say what you want about Michael – yes at times he can be hard, but he’s also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason – he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there.

He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.

Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!

And who is the real Megan Fox? She is very different than the academy nominee and winning actors we’ve all worked around. She’s as about ungracious a person as you can ever fathom. She shows little interest in the crew members around her. We work to make her look good in every way, but she’s absolutely never appreciative of anyone’s hard work. Never a thank you. All the crewmembers have stopped saying hi to Ms. Princess because she never says hello back. It gets tiring. Many think she just really hates the process of being an actress.

Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We’ve heard the A.D’s piped over the radio that Megan won’t walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John’s done seventy-five movies and she’s made two!

Never expect Megan to attend any of the 15 or so crew parties like all the other actors have. And then there’s the classless night she blew off The Royal Prince of Jordan who made a special dinner for all the actors. She doesn’t know that one of the grips’ daughters wanted to visit their daddy’s work to meet Megan, but he wouldn’t let them come because he told them “she is not nice.”

The press certainly doesn’t know her most famous line. On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, “I can’t believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!” I guess this is the “Hitler guy” she is referring to.

So this is the Megan Fox you don’t get to see. Maybe she will learn, but we figure if she can sling insults, then she can take them too. Megan really is a thankless, classless, graceless, and shall we say unfriendly bitch. It’s sad how fame can twist people, and even sadder that young girls look up to her. If only they knew who they’re really looking up to.

But ‘fame’ is fleeting. We, being behind the scenes, seen em’ come and go. Hopefully Michael will have Megatron squish her character in the first ten minutes of Transformers 3. We can tell you that will make the crew happy!”

-Loyal Transformers Crew

 

Ohh La La, Lady Gaga in lingerie

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Lady Gaga shimmied off her clothing and nearly tumbled out her car window as she left a performance at Stadpark in Hamburg, Germany.  Usually dressed in creative fashion, Lady Gaga went the Marilyn Monroe route by giving her fans an eyeful of her vintage-inspired lingerie and tousled blonde and pink curls.

She must have been so excited because she’s taking a little time off of touring before hitting up Asia on August 7th.  Our guess for how she’ll spend her break?  Shopping for more outrageous outfits.  Until then, we hope she’ll just run around in her bra and panties.

Oh, and let’s reminisce about what a good performer she is by salivating over these nip slips from this weekend’s performance:

GagaNip

 

Lindsay Lohan is the new Marilyn?! WTF!!

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Either the folks at Spanish Vogue are out of their mind or they expect us to be complete nuts. The latest issue of the magazine features Lindsay Lohan as the new Marilyn, which is totally unacceptable. They think they can recreate an icon just by placing a blond wig on any trash can. Marilyn Monroe was much, much more than just blond locks. I expect an apology from them for playing with the emotions of millions of Marilyn Monroe fans. Anyway, hit the jump for the remaining pics. And don’t expect an apology from me for the tiny pics.
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Author claims Paul Newman was bisexual and had an affair with James Dean

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Paul Newman has been ‘outed’ from beyond the grave by Marlon Brando, according to writer Darwin Porter’s scandalous new book on the late movie legend.

Porter interviewed Brando about Newman before the acting great died in 2004 - and he was stunned with what the heavyweight star let slip. In his book, “Paul Newman: The Man Behind The Baby Blues,” he quotes Brando as saying, “He never fooled me. Paul Newman had just as many on-location affairs as the rest of us, and he was just as bisexual as I was. But, where I was always getting caught with my pants down, he managed to do it in the dark.”

Porter tells the Globe he has been tracking Newman’s secret sexual encounters since he met the actor in 1959 and alleges in his new book the late star, who was happily married to actress Joanne Woodward for 50 years, bedded icons like Grace Kelly, Judy Garland, Natalie Wood and Marilyn Monroe.

The writer also claims Newman and James Dean had a gay romance.

But the actor’s family has dismissed Porter’s book, claiming the sex allegations are “disgusting.”

A source says, “Paul knew there were rumors out there about his sexuality and to have to face them when he’s not here to dispute them is Joanne’s worst nightmare.”

 

Lindsay Lohan’s new gig:impersonating Marilyn Monroe in her skankiest version ever

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Can you hear the weird sound coming out Marilyn Monroe’s grave? That’s Marilyn’s bones clinging in some sort of Morse code that reads like this: “wrinkly, skinny, freckled bitch, stop trying to pretend you’re me…you make me look like a street prostitute high on meth and i’m not liking it!”

Lindsay, who by the way spent the night at Sam Ronson’s house the night before the shoot was attempting to look like Marilyn for the cover of Spanish Vogue. Judging by the fact that she looked like stepped-on dog poo we will guess she spent all night licking Sam’s…er, feet..