“Y’all want me to show you how to break a neck with my thighs? Dang, i just sharted on Joe Jonas!”
Kris Humphries licking his post-divorce wounds by hosting a late-night party in Vegas, er, I’m guessing topless?
Demi Moore and Melanie Griffith need to get together and share a potato chip because they’re getting too scary to look at.
Gerard Butler has also lost a lot of weight. Must be the strictly no-vagina-for-a-month diet.
At least Coco and her braless ta-tas know how to eat. It’s more or less a 12-plate affair.
Who wants to see Sofia Vergara bend down to pick g-strings?
Heidi Klum gave her second costume ape nipples. And forced Seal to dress up like a monkey. Let me remind you, she’s a blue-eyed German and he’s black. Mel Gibson says he wants to bed her.
Miranda Kerr knows how to walk the streets of Manhattan.
Blake Lively getting carried around by shoe maker Louboutin.
David Hasselhoff wants to make a quick stop for a burger with onion rings.
And a couple of Angels spraying perfume in heaven.
Here’s 54-year old Melanie Griffith at the Best In Drag Show in L.A last night (no joke, that’s an actual event), to which she was invited because I’m assuming she makes for one fine dude in an Axel Rose hair piece? And my “fine” i mean its the kind of beauty that can only be enhanced if a horse kicked you right in the face and left a shit-covered imprint on it. And you know what’s funnier than Melanie Griffith’s face melting faster than cheese in a microwave? The fact that Kathy Griffith and Lisa Rina were also invited to this thing. These event organizers have a great sense of humor.
It’s THE place to kick the habit! Lilo did it there, so did Kirsten Dunst! Now you can add Mrs. Antonio Banderas to the mix! Yep, STAR Magazine says Melanie Griffith recently checked into the Utah clinic. Antonio told her – GET CLEAN WOMAN OR I’M LEAVIN YOU!
