George Carlin, RIP, said it best, “…life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time and what do you get at the end of it? A Death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating… and you finish off as an orgasm.”
I applied his point of view to some of my favorite movies and it seems that sometimes it’s better backwards…
Godzilla backwards, it’s about a giant kind hearted lizard that comes out of the ocean to help rebuild a broken Tokyo.
Scarface backwards, it’s about a man who gives up cocaine and crime to follow his dream of becoming a dishwasher to earn enough money so he can visit Cuba.
127 hours backwards, it’s an uplifting story about a disabled man finding an arm in the desert.
Black Swan backwards, it’s about a dancer who cures her insanity by sleeping with Mila Kunis
Lord Of The Rings backwards it’s about a little guy who finds a really cool ring in a volcano and spends the rest of the time walking home.
Titanic backwards, it’s a heart warming tale of a ship that jumps out of the water and saves lots of drowning people.
Cinderella backwards, it’s a delightful animated Disney classic about a woman learning her place.
Groundhog Day backwards, its basically the same except Bill Murray doesn’t get the girl at the end.
Wait…what were we talking about again?