Archive for the "Nuts Magazine" Category

The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly for 1/16/12

Hey guys! Thanks for coming back to sit through more of my BS. It means more to me than you know. *tear* No, really, though — thank you for making The Good, The Bad, and The Fugly a trending post! That’s awesome! Now, let’s get to the bitches, shall we? The Good — Jorgie Porter… wow. Very British name, not so much for the British modesty, though. Stripping it all off for Nuts mag, Jorgie looks all-out yummy in her little get-up. The Dancing on Ice star has definitely got my vote, cause… Dayum!!! The Bad — And here we go again. I thought Cameron was back on track when I posted the sexy bikini pics in Ugly Cameron Diaz + Hawaiin Beach Vacay = Sexy as Hell Cameron Diaz. Well, apparently I was wrong. Because that dress she was sportin’ at the Weinstein Company’s Golden Globes afterparty at The Beverly Hilton made her look like one ugly ass tranny! She has beefed up a bit due to her rigorious workouts, which is fine. I don’t personally dig the femme beefcake look myself, but whatev. But, when she paired her newly developed biceps with that cutaway neckline… girl looked a friggin’ mess! Plus, her hair was messed the fuck up and she looked washed out. So, yeah, Cameron… you are back on the Bad list!!! The Fugly — Yeah, I’m sure that many of you are scratching your heads going ‘What’s the deal? This chick is hot, other than that messed up thing on her head. I may not know who the hell she is, but why is she on the Fugly list?’ Well, I will tell you, Kel Tells has not lost her mind. But I have lost my temper. The woman in that photograph is none other than Beyonce Knowles! Yeeeeeeah… could you tell that from the picture? I couldn’t when I first looked at it. You know why? Because, her SKIN HAS BEEN DIGITALLY BLEACHED!!!!!!! Yes, you heard me right! Her skin has been digitally lightened for the promotion pics for her upcoming album. And, I’m sorry, but that upsets me very much! Be you, girl! Why would you do such a thing and show the young women of the world that you should lighten your fucking skin color?!?!?! This is a disgrace! I’m super pissed, if you can’t tell. And, get this, this isn’t even the first time this has happened. In 2008, Beyonce had the very same thing done on a L’Oreal ad, something that the New York Post called ‘shocking.’ [pic available below] And, indeed, it is. It’s not only shocking though, it’s saddening! So, guess what, bitch? You’re getting put on the Fugly list… for pissing me off!!!
 

Danica Thrall Topless Lingerie Outtakes from Nuts Magazine

Tell you the truth we normally don’t have a clue what differentiates an outtake from the rest of published pictures from a photo shoot (all of it should be published damn them!), but this makes perfect sense because Danica Thrall was supposed to be wearing lingerie here. Oops!

It’s cool though! She did get a few pictures with her lingerie on here and there, so the Nuts Lingerie Issue got made. And in her defense, her breasts are somewhat defiant when it comes to bras. You can’t hold them down! Ain’t nothing gonna break-a her boobies’ stride.

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Pohotoshoot Outtakes for Lucy Pinder’s 2012 Topless Calendar

WOO! It’s a good day today gentleman, Why you ask? Because Nuts Magazine has released these photos of a topless Lucy Pinder that might, or might not be used in her upcoming 2012 calendar. As we all know, the only thing better than a calendar with topless pictures of Lucy Pinder on it would be a sun dial modeled off Lucy’s rack. And don’t even try to tell us that Lucy Pinder’s tits aren’t celestially aligned.

Nuts had a chat with the lovely Lucy too. When Nuts asked, “Do you keep a stash of calendars in the boot of your car in case of emergencies?” Lucy responded, “No, but I guess I should. My mum keeps stashes of them to hand out to family and friends, but I always forget to take some for myself.” That is one supportive mom! Also, it must be pretty weird to be Lucy’s aunt or uncle, having the girl’s mother hand you a calendar every year. It’s half-sweet, half-awkward, all-boner.

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Lucy Pinder is the Queen of Boobs – Part 2

A few weeks ago, when the world was obsessing about the royal wedding, our focus was planted firmly on a royal of an entirely different sort, namely Lucy Pinder, the Queen of Boobs. If you were similarly swept up in the pomp and circumstance of Ms. Pinder’s coronation, then, well, you’ll be pleased to know that there are many, many more photos from her celebration… and we have them all for you right here!

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Nuts Magazine Presents – 100 Topless Babes!

You know what it’s like to sift through website after website, looking for a large enough cache of topless women to fap to, and finding nothing? And then to have this spread rain down on us like busty manna from the heavens, it’s too much to deal with right now. We have to say though, we’re glad that the UK’s Nuts Magazine didn’t bother ranking these women in order of “Sexiness” or “Boobtasticness” or “Toplessness.” That last one might be interesting to read about because to us, these women are all equally topless.

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Danica Thrall Goes Topless for Nuts

Danica Thrall got our complete attention back in December ’10 when we were first thrilled with this Brit bombshell with pics from her stupidly-sexy Loaded UK cover shoot. Today, the thrill ain’t gone and we are going f$#ing NUTS over Danica’s new outtakes from her recent Nuts Magazine shoot. Where yet again, her breasts are on full display. This girl is insanely gorgeous and her allergy to clothing is probably the best thing about her. More please. And by more we mean a professionally shot HD video of Danica here, with some adult beverages, a ton of baby oil and half a dozen or so of her lady friends.

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Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones Together in Nuts Magazine

Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones should be the new lesbian power couple that everybody could be obsessed with. We could call them “Losie” or “Rucy” and the tabloids would say things like, “Losie Splitting Up! Lucy too Jealous of Rosie’s Big Boobs!” Then of course we’d need a sex tape released too, to properly celebrate their love.

Seriously girls, make it happen. The world would be a better place.

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Lacey Banghard and Her Boobs Featured in Nuts Magazine

Lacey Banghard and her beautiful big breasts graced the pages of the UK’s Nuts Magazine recently in a segment they called “2011′s Biggest New Boobs”. Not that we have ever really heard about Lacey Banghard, so let’s spend some time studying her beautiful big boobs, and thus getting to know her more. And while we’re at it, she’ll introduce us to other busty friends of hers!

Actually, if you want to see her busty friends, you’ll have to get your hands on the magazine itself. As for us, we’re all about the award-winning tits that Lacey possesses. We’re her cheering squad. It is 2011 and this year belongs to Banghard!

Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine Busty Lacey Banghard in Nuts Magazine
 

Rosie Jones Picks 100 Big Boobed Babes for Nuts Magazine

If there is one thing UK men’s magazines love to do it’s make top 100 lists. Thus Nuts magazine got glamour model Rosie Jones to help them out, because if there’s anyone who knows big boobs, it has to be Rosie Jones. She was nice enough to unbutton her blouse, open her brain, and flood us with all the wisdom of Encyclopedia Tittanica.

These 100 babes aren’t ranked in any sense, just listed. Rosie gets to be number one, of course. Even though the numbers don’t mean anything, number one always means something!

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Even More Pictures of Jessica-Jane Clement

Here are some out takes of Jessica-Jane Clement’s last photoshoot for Nuts Magazine. I can’t stop staring at her amazing (yet oh so plastic) cleavage. I want to nestle my face in there and take one of the sexiest naps ever. This chicks body is just unbelievable, it should be in the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History as an example to future generations as to what the female body should look like. I love her.

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Holly Peers Goes Topless in Nuts Magazine

Here is UK hottie and Page 3 girl Holly Peers (who we haven’t featured on the site before) with her big breasts falling out of her bra, causing a booming shoutout to the world to start a virtual suckle. Guess she just can’t find a bra that’s pretty and fits her gorgeous breasts. What can we say, Holly? It seems your bra has failed you for the last time. It looks like a lost cause. At this point, we recommend just doing away with bras altogether and going al-natural…

… Sweet, and to think, all it took was a fat bribe to the League of British Bra Manufacturers. Yeah, this was totally worth losing a year’s pay over.

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The Very Busty Jessica-Jane Clement in Nuts Magazine

When you die and go to silicone heaven, UK model, former page 3 girl and current reality TV star, Jessica-Jane Clement, will be there to greet you with her big fake chest. But until then you are just going to have to do with looking at her in Nuts Magazine. I’m guessing they stuck her in there to make flat chested girls feel bad about themselves, or to make men sexually aroused, maybe both, who knows why they really did it. All I know is that buying Nuts this month would be worth every penny (as were her boobs), because she’s all kinds of fantastic. Dare I say even perfect…? Let’s put it this way, if she was on her knees about to give me oral gratification and I looked down to see she had blood and chunks of human flesh falling out of her mouth, I would still stick my penis in there.

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Meet Danica Thrall, She Seems Nice, Real Nice

See this girl right here? Yeah the hot one. Well her name is Danica Thrall. She’s 22 and a dressage horse rider from Derbyshire, England. Her favourite food is lasagna so if you are a cat named Garfield she might just be your soulmate. Her favourite drink is pink champagne so if you are a flamboyant Frenchman she might just be your soulmate. She’d also like you to take her to Venice, but not if you’ve got a fat ass, because that’s just gross.

She’s also on the January 2011 cover of UK’s Loaded Magazine. Which means she’ll soon join the ranks of fellow UK cuties Kelly Brook, Elle Liberachi, Lucy Pinder, and Rosie Jones.

I feel like I’m forgetting something… something really awesome that I should have mentioned… No, can’t remember what it was…

OH OH OH I KNOW! She has a twin sister named Sophie! Twins, Basil. Twins!

Now enjoy looking at her titties.

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Boobies Galore: 100 Topless Celebrities

If there is anything UK men’s magazines love, it’s showing some tits, and we love them for it. Nuts Magazine is a perfect example of such a magazine, having gathered 100 photos of celebrities exposing their hooters or nip slips.

HORRAY FOR TETTAS!!!

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