Archive for the "Paris Hilton" Category

Paris Hilton And Some Guy I Feel Like I Should Know

No really, that guy looks so familiar but I can’t quite place him. After a quick Google search, I discovered his name is River Viiperi and Wikipedia tells me River is a model. Apparently Paris has said she wants to marry her 21-year-old boyfriend of eight months and have children with him. I wonder if River would take her last name? River Hilton sort of has a ring to it, doesn’t it? I honestly have a hard time keeping up with the men in Paris’ life but these two kind of seem happy, don’t they? Who knows. The age difference might seem a little weird to some (Paris is 32 now) but they’ve only got one more year between them than my husband and I do. While some might say he’s just using her to further his career – these photos were taken at Cannes, after all – he was already a fairly accomplished model. Does that mean he absolutely isn’t using her? Not at all. I guess time will tell. Call me crazy, but I’m really hoping it works out for these two, even if the odds (and Paris’ dating history) are against them.

Paris Hilton And Some Guy I Feel Like I Should Know

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Who Knew There Were Real Get Out Jail Free Cards? Stars Who Were Arrested But Had The Charges (Mysteriously) Dropped

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These 15 stars somehow managed to escape the long hand of the law after an arrest…


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Put On Blast: Kardashian Klan Seek Legal Action Aganist Ford Ad Depicting Sisters Being Tied Up And Kidnapped By Paris Hilton

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The Kardashians want Ford to know they aren’t laughing.

Kardashian Sisters Slam Ad Depicting Kidnapping By Paris Hilton

Via HuffPo reports:

The reality TV sisters are ready to get litigious in response to a mock-up ad for the Indian-made compact car, the Ford Figo, which featured a cartoon drawing of Paris Hilton in the front seat of the car, winking as she kidnaps Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian, who are bound and gagged in the car’s trunk.

A lawyer for the Kardashian family told various media outlets that the sisters “do not take this lightly and they are exploring all legal options” against those who are responsible:

“The ‘leave your worries behind’ Ford ads are disgusting, vile and offensive to all women. It is unacceptable that Ford would align itself with an ad agency that would so carelessly release these ads. The Kardashians do not take this lightly and they are exploring all of their legal options,” their attorney said in a statement.

Another ad in the series depicted former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi with a trio of bound women in the trunk of a car, and featured the slogan “Leave your worries behind with the Figo’s extra-large boot.” (Berlusconi is, of course, not only known for throwing wild “bunga bunga” sex parties, but is facing charges of paying for sex with an underage woman.)

The ads caused an outrage online and surfaced just after India passed a new legislation to protect women against sexual violence in response to a fatal December gang rape and beating of a young woman on a bus, reports the Associated Press.

The India unit of Ford Motor Co. has since apologized for the advertisements, with a spokeswoman telling the AP that the company is investigating whether anyone at the company ever saw the print ads, which were never used commercially but appeared over the weekend on a website showcasing creative advertising.

“We take this very seriously and are reviewing approval and oversight processes, and taking necessary steps to ensure nothing like this ever happens again,” Ford spokeswoman Sethi Deepti told the AP.

Funny or foul???


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Paris Hilton Is Still Out There Doing Things.

At the height of her popularity, it seemed like Paris Hilton was everywhere. Someone was always talk about something that she’d gotten in trouble for, something stupid she said or some new racy photos that had surfaced of her online. Everything was about Paris. If you were a fan of celebrity gossip she was your dream come true and a nightmare all in one. She was a constant source of great gossip but she was also all anyone ever talked about. She was like that awesome guilty pleasure song you couldn’t get enough of until you’d heard it for the millionth time. Then for a long time, Paris disappeared. You’d hear about her every now and again but generally the news disappeared from the airways as quickly as it appeared. The world’s fascination with Paris Hilton had faded and it was nice. Now that a little time has passed, I’ve found I’ve started enjoying Paris again. These photos are a great example of why. Instead of thinking, “Oh great – Paris Hilton again” while rolling my eyes so hard I pulled muscles, I thought, “Oh! Great! Paris Hilton again!” and clicked excitedly to see the photos. That’s nice for a change.

Paris Hilton Is Still Out There Doing Things.

Paris Hilton Is Still Out There Doing Things. Paris Hilton Is Still Out There Doing Things. Paris Hilton Is Still Out There Doing Things.
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Paris Hilton Looking Cute In Miami

I never really know what to write about Paris Hilton. What can I saw about this woman that hasn’t been said a million times? Things are further complicated by the fact that I genuinely don’t know whether I love or loathe this woman. See, here’s the thing about Paris. I don’t like celebrities who are famous for no good reason but yet, there’s a part of me that likes Paris. I’m not sure what it is about her that I like. I think she’s a beautiful woman, of course, and has great fashion sense most of the time but so does Kim Kardashian and I’m far from a big Kim K fan. For whatever reason though, Paris is different to me. I love these pics of her in Miami. She looks cute and I’m really loving the suit and headband. She looks like she’s having a pretty good time. Always nice to see.

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Paris Hilton looks great outside BOA Steakhouse.

I’m not normally one to dole out a lot of praise for Paris Hilton as there is a rather large part of me that rejects Paris and everything she stands for but I have to give credit where credit is due. She looks pretty damn good in these photos from BOA Steakhouse in West Hollywood. I love the dress – it’s daring and sexy but doesn’t completely cross the line. Is it a bit revealing for dinner at a steakhouse (even if it’s a super trendy steakhouse)? Maybe, but it still looks good on her and it’s definitely not the most revealing outfit a celebrity has worn for a night out. I think Paris looks good here. Well done.

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Paris Hilton dresses up in her second Halloween costume of the year.

Perhaps I was a little harsh on Paris Hilton the other day when I ragged on her Halloween costume but these pictures of Paris at the Playboy Halloween Party in Los Angeles are exactly why I was harsh. I love these photos. Paris’ butterfly costume is a great example of a slutty Halloween costume (not an insult, people – just a fact. C’mon, she’s practically wearing nothing but undies here – which is fine. It’s Halloween!). It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s colorful and I haven’t seen anything else quite like it. Paris is clearly a lady that loves Halloween, often rocking several different costumes each year. This one is my favorite Paris Hilton Halloween costume this year by a mile. As for all time? I still choose her Jailbird costume from the year she went to prison. Funny and sexy? Total win.

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Paris Hilton in this year’s slutty Halloween costume.

I don’t know when Halloween became an excuse for women to dress in the sluttiest costumes imaginable but at some point, that definitely happened. Every year, Paris Hilton is a great example of that. She’s not alone, of course. All sorts of Hollywood starlets seem to choose costumes based on how much skin they’ll be able to show without fearing arrest. It’s not really my cup of tea, honestly. You know whose Halloween costume I look forward to every year? Heidi Klum. She often shows a lot of skin but always in a very interesting, creative way and I think that’s what Halloween is all about. These photos of Paris Hilton attending a Halloween Party in Beverly Hills are a little disappointing to me. First, I swear she wore this same costume a few years back and second, there’s really nothing creative about it. Her friends are far more interesting to look at. I’m sure by the time Halloween has actually come and gone though, we’ll see several more slutty Paris Hilton costumes and they’ll probably be better than this one.

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Paris Hilton goes diving in Hawaii.

Celebrities have a right to privacy. They should have the right to say or do what they want in their private lives (short of hurting people, of course) without having it splashed all over the press. When I like a celebrity, I often like the work they do on television, in movies or with music. Paris Hilton kind of complicated things because she hasn’t really done any work for me to like but that’s kind of beside the point. So what’s the point? Simple. The private lives of celebrities should stay private. With that said, the backseat of a cab is not private therefore, you shouldn’t say anything in the backseat of a cab that you wouldn’t say in public, especially if what you’re saying is hurtful and insulting to a whole group of people. I don’t care who the group of people is, either. It’s just a stupid move a seasoned press veteran like Paris should be smart enough to avoid. And when it comes to what she actually said? How hypocritical. While the website that sparked the debate between Paris and her friends seems like a terrible idea, Paris has no right to comment on the sexual habits of anyone. Her claim to fame is a sex tape. Anyway, these pictures show Paris diving in Hawaii, clearly already over the blow back from her ridiculous comments. She looks just as hot as she always does. Moving on.

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Dev Sex Tape Being Shopped

We were just thinking, “It’s time for another sex tape to come out” and now we learn that singer/songwriter Dev made a sex tape and it’s reportedly being shopped around, this according to TMZ.

The video was reportedly shot last year with an ex-boyfriend and it’s “night-vision” style, similar to Paris Hilton’s “1 Night in Paris” (which still might be the greatest name for a sex tape ever) — TMZ was lucky enough to get a sneak peek of the video and they claim it’s a pretty ‘boring” sex tape. No chains, handcuffs, or huge feathers.

The tape is currently being shopped around and someone will probably end up buying it, but it won’t be us. We’re saving all our pennies for the magical day that a Kate Upton sex tape comes out. We might even start a “penny donation” page where you can go donate your unwanted pennies. Just make sure that the pennies aren’t that damaged because the local Coinstar machine is really picky about the pennies it’ll take.

So, yeah…Dev has a boring sex tape that is being shopped around and no one cares. Better luck next time, Dev! Maybe you should make it more exciting next time; try it in an elevator or maybe even a busy parking garage. Dev Devv

 

Paris Hilton and her man cuddle and kiss in France.

Who is this new guy Paris Hilton is with? I have no idea. I saw his name somewhere but didn’t bother committing it to memory. I’m sure he’ll be moving on soon enough. I don’t get why Paris has such a hard time keeping men in her life. I really think she must be the one that does the dumping because it just doesn’t make sense to me otherwise. Sure her public persona is a little (okay, a lot) vapid but as a person she seems okay. Maybe she’s a little immature and a whole lot spoiled, but she tends to date guys who are also spoiled so that whole thing shouldn’t be a problem. Here’s my guess. The guy she’s sucking face with in France is rich and … well, are there any other real requirements for dating Paris?

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Paris Hilton and her man cuddle and kiss in France.

Who is this new guy Paris Hilton is with? I have no idea. I saw his name somewhere but didn’t bother committing it to memory. I’m sure he’ll be moving on soon enough. I don’t get why Paris has such a hard time keeping men in her life. I really think she must be the one that does the dumping because it just doesn’t make sense to me otherwise. Sure her public persona is a little (okay, a lot) vapid but as a person she seems okay. Maybe she’s a little immature and a whole lot spoiled, but she tends to date guys who are also spoiled so that whole thing shouldn’t be a problem. Here’s my guess. The guy she’s sucking face with in France is rich and … well, are there any other real requirements for dating Paris?

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Paris Hilton living the Paris Hilton lifestyle.

I really don’t know why I like Paris Hilton as much as I do. I really shouldn’t. She’s pretty much everything I hate in a celebrity. She’s arrogant, shallow and famous for being famous. Even so, I like her. I don’t think she’s actually all that attractive when compared to some of her contemporaries. Some could say she’s in the same class of celebrity as Kim Kardashian and I find Kim much more attractive. I also like Kim a lot less than Paris. So what gives? I don’t know. I guess I’m just complicated like that. Anyway, on to the photos. Here in Sao Paulo, Paris looks adorable. I love the two piece swim suit she’s wearing and I love the fact that she seems to be having a typically ‘Paris Hilton’ good time. While I don’t think I’d enjoy spending time with her, it is kind of fascinating to watch Paris being Paris and I suppose that appeals to me in a very strange way.

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Paris Hilton is a DJ now … or something.

Oh Paris Hilton – always searching for new ways to keep her name in the headlines. This time, she’s decided to be a DJ. I can’t really say much about it. I am one of the few people that actually liked Paris’ foray into the music business. She has been to enough parties to know what the average party goer likes so maybe this is actually something she’ll be good at. Maybe not. Here at the Pop Music Festival in Sao Paulo, Paris takes her place on stage and does her best to keep the crowd entertained. Did it work? No idea, but she looks cute. That has to count for something. I like Paris. She might be a self centered brat who has never had to work a day in her life but she owns that. She is who she is. I guess in some weird kind of way, I respect that. It can’t be easy being as hated as Paris is in many social circles but she doesn’t let it get her down. Kudos to her and I wish her nothing but good things with her new career.

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Major Paris Hilton upskirt pic

Oh Paris Hilton. I want to hate you but I just can’t. There’s something about you I find endlessly interesting. Perhaps it’s the fact that you just sort of seem to trip through life with your head in the clouds, never really taking notice of what’s happening around you. Here in Hollywood, we get some what I like to call “Classic Paris”. Her dress is hiked up to her waist, there are cameras all around here but she seems blissfully unaware more upskirt shots are about to flood the internet. Paris Hilton. What a classy lady. Seriously though, I give Paris a hard time but I do like her. I don’t know why I like her and I feel a little dirty for it, but I do. I’m complex.

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The Best from the MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet!

Did you watch the MTV Movie Awards? Because we didn’t. However, we know that you all want to see the hot pictures from the red carpet, so our sister site Wasted Hollywood picked out some of the best.

CLICK HERE to view all of the hot red carpet photos.

Enjoy! The Best from the MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet! The Best from the MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet! The Best from the MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet! The Best from the MTV Movie Awards Red Carpet!

 

 

Paris Hilton continues to be famous for being famous.

I don’t hate Paris Hilton. I know a lot of people do but I’m not one of them. Paris hasn’t exactly worked hard to earn her place among the entertainment industry elite but she has certainly gotten there anyway and while that would usually bother me, I make an exception for Paris. I can’t explain why. I suppose I just like her for whatever reason. Here at the VIP Room Nightclub in Cannes, Paris seems to be up to her usual activities; dancing, playing with her hair, looking fabulous and being seen at the hottest locales. I really like the dress she’s wearing. She looks great and the dress really flatters her. I usually wouldn’t be a big fan of the color but Paris has a knack for finding colors I wouldn’t normally like and making them look good. She has an eye for fashion, or her stylist does at least, and I like that.

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Paris Hilton bares it all… sort of

Using nothing but her arm and strategically positioned greenery, Paris Hilton gives the world what it wants – a look at her body. I like Paris Hilton but it’s one of those guilty pleasure sort of things. She’s a spoiled brat. She’s a fame whore. She’s everything I hate in a celeb, but for some reason, I like her. She isn’t the most attractive girl in the world. She has a sort of man-ish thing going on, but she has one heck of a body. I guess she’s got that going for her. The only thing I don’t like about her is the same thing I don’t like about AnnaLynne McCord except multiplied – she’s too damn skinny. I guess coke does that to a person though. Remember when Paris said she didn’t use drugs? I know, I laughed too. I love this kooky, vapid chick. I won’t apologize for that.

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Paris Hilton’s Hippie Bikini!

Now that Paris Hilton isn’t filming herself having sex…we really don’t hear much about her anymore. However, we just saw these pictures of her and thought they were worthy of their own post. She looks like she gained a little bit of weight (which is a good thing) she used to be way too skinny.

She was hanging out poolside with her rumored boyfriend DJ Afrojack; he was playing a set for the crowd. He is actually producing her new album, which makes me hate him. I know he has to be the “supportive” boyfriend and act like Paris has some kind of talent, but at some point you just have to let her know she sucks. Don’t waste time and money producing a crappy album for her just because you want to get lucky.

The album is supposed to feature collaborations with LMFAO and Flo Rida, so that means it is really going to suck. I would say that she just needs to stick with acting, but she is not really good at that either. What is she good at again? Having a famous last name? Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini! Paris Hilton’s Hippy Bikini!

 

Kim Kardashian Responds to Jon Hamm’s Insulting Comments!

As we reported a couple of days ago, ‘Mad Men’ star Jon Hamm went on a little rant and basically called Kim Kardashian a “f*cking idiot” and said that it just doesn’t make sense to him that society rewards these kind of people. Basically he was just being a huge jealous douche and now Kim Kardashian is firing back.

“Calling someone who runs their own business, is a part of a successful TV show, produces, writes, designs, and creates, ‘stupid,’ is in my opinion careless. I respect Jon and I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that not everyone takes the same path in life. We’re all working hard and we all have to respect one another.” she wrote on her twitter.

Very mature and she handled that a lot better than Mr. Hamm. You might not like the content the Kardashians provide, but that doesn’t mean they are idiots. You can call Kim Kardashian a lot of things, fake, slutty, annoying, greedy, slutty…did I say slutty? But I don’t think it is fair to call her an idiot. Kim Kardashian Responds to Jon Hamm’s Insulting Comments! Kim Kardashian Responds to Jon Hamm’s Insulting Comments! Kim Kardashian Responds to Jon Hamm’s Insulting Comments!

 

Paris Hilton in thigh high stockings and heels

Here’s the deal with me and Paris Hilton. Sometimes I love her for reasons I’ll never be able to explain. Other times, I have a strong dislike for her for reasons I’ll also never be able to explain. In a nutshell, Paris Hilton confuses me. It’s like this – I’m not very good at the typical girl things. I’m not that into fashion but I do know what I like and what I don’t like. It just so happens that I love the vast majority of what I see Paris wearing. These shots from Beverly Hills show another example of Paris wearing something I feel I should hate but actually really like. I could actually see myself wearing that. I probably never would, but I could see myself wanting to. I like the tights. Somehow, Paris has paired them with the perfect outfit to make them look nice instead of completely trashy. I’m not sure there are many other women out there that would be able to do that. Do I love Paris? I’m not entirely sure but I love these pictures.

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Were We Close to Getting More Naked Pictures of Paris Hilton?

Paris Hilton already has a sex tape out, but apparently she still might have some “naughty” stuff on her cell phone. Because when it went missing at a party she “lost it” at least that is what the New York Post is reporting… Paris Hilton flew into a panic that her personal pictures could be leaked after she lost her phone while partying at the Simple Life House, the scene of Sundance’s late-night soirees. A source told us, “One phone was found full of pictures of girls in porn-style poses. Everyone thought that was Paris’ phone, but it wasn’t. Another phone, with a dead battery, was later recovered and was handed back to Paris 24 hours later.”   Hey now! We don’t know for sure that she was flipping out cause there were nude pictures on her phone. Maybe she was just freaking out because she lost her cell phone? A lot of people would be freaking out if they lost their cell phone. Cell phones gets treated better than the mailman these days. …That was my best attempt at trying to have her back. I think we all know she probably has some pretty naughty pictures on her cell phone, it’s Paris Hilton! I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a couple of new Paris Hilton sex tapes floating around, but people are just not interested enough to buy it. They’re probably on the clearance aisle for sex tapes. No one cares about Paris Hilton or her tits anymore. Plus her sex tape was pretty boring…at least that is what I have heard. I didn’t watch it or anything.  
 

The Spank Bank for 1/4/12 (Details on new Photo Gallery inside)

Well, today is a very special Spank Bank! Before we get to the pictures from today, I want to introduce you all to our new photo gallery! Now, you can search through and find your favorite pictures. There is even a special category for “babes” in which you will find…babes. Imagine that, huh? So, if you ever need some extra Spank Bank material, the photo gallery is the place to go. The photo gallery doesn’t end there, though. It has a ton of celebrity pictures, you can even check out all of the celebrity mugshots in the “humor” category. Go check it out! Now let’s get to who made the Spank Bank list today… Paris Hilton: I am not the biggest fan of Paris Hilton, but you can’t deny the fact that she is a pretty sexy lady. You can see her in the pictures below posing topless for FHM! These are some of the hottest Paris Hilton pictures I have seen in a long time. Sharni Vinson: I am guessing these pictures are from the holidays since she is wearing a Santa hat. So, these pictures might have been around for a week or so, but I haven’t seen them! So, they’re new to me and her backside is too yummy to pass up. Lily Aldridge: She is a supermodel…of course. She’s doing supermodel things in the pictures below. What are “supermodel things?” oh, you know! Wearing lingerie and sticking your ass in the air for everyone to see, stuff like that. Lauren Sanchez: Apparently she is a co-host on Good Day LA and I can see why it’s a “Good” day if she is greeting you every morning. Forget Folgers; give me some Lauren Sanchez in my cup!
 

Paris Hilton in back baring dress

Paris Hilton is kind of like olives for me. Sometimes I’m in the mood for them and sometimes I’m not. My opinion of Paris, just like my opinion of olives, changes dramatically depending on my mood. Today I’m having a Paris is okay sort of day. That could be because I happen to think she looks exceptionally attractive in these photos. I don’t like the black tights with the dress and I’m not sure I love the cut of the dress in the front, but I will admit it flatters her body very well. These pictures, taken in LA, do little to quiet the “Paris Hilton is a spoiled little princess” comments considering the car she’s driving but I honestly don’t think Paris cares in the least. I find that appealing in a weird way. I love a girl who just lives her life and doesn’t care what people think of her and Paris is definitely that kind of girl. Of course, if you ask me tomorrow, my opinion will probably be entirely different. It’s fun to be moody.

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Paris Hilton vacations in Bali

I just don’t know about Paris Hilton. I kind of love the girl for so perfectly representing everything that’s wrong with today’s celebrity culture but I kind of hate her for the exact same thing. Perhaps I’m just jealous. The girl doesn’t seem to have a care in the world and that’s definitely something I envy. Here in Bali, Paris looks like she’s having a great time posing for the cameras and I’ll admit, she looks pretty damn good while she’s doing it. My only real complaint about Paris’ appearance is that she has absolutely no boobs to speak of. I like a girl with curves but I also appreciate the fact that Paris hasn’t given into the pressure and pumped her chest up with implants. That’s nice for a change.

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Wednesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (11.16.2011)

Steven Tyler is still in Hawaii assaulting our eyes. And can someone please tell me what’s going on with one of his toes (pic with scuba diving outfit). It’s literally humping the big toe!

Who wants to see how you spread gonorrhea on the beaches of Bali?

I’m pretty sure I can see Stacy Keibler’s belly button in that dress. George must be voicing concerns that they’ve been dating for too long again.

Demi Lovato took Wilder Valderrama to a wedding and then twittered her happiness over catching the bouquet. Run Wilder, run!!

Hillary Duff is showing off her swollen uterus.

Lady Gaga and her talons must be a blast cuddling up to.

Vienna Girardi is now leading the exciting life of a pig farmer after getting dumped by Kasey Kahl. I was about to start crying for her, but Eddie Cibrian’s ridiculous mustache turned my sorrow into fits of laughter.

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Paris Hilton attends a Halloween party

Say what you want about Paris Hilton but you can always count on this girl for some sort of sexy Halloween costume. In years past, she’s been a sexy sailor, a sexy prisoner and… a whole bunch of other sexy things. This year, however, I found her costume for a Halloween Party in Hollywood a little bland. I’m not exactly sure what she was supposed to be but I don’t think the dress was really that different from some of the weird, high fashion outfits she occasionally wears to any other outing. She still looks good. I was just a little disappointed. I expected to much more.

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Paris takes her crotch to the Miss Ukraine Beauty Pageant

In life there are many things that have no rhyme or reason, and making that argument even stronger was the fact that Ukranians paid to have Paris Hilton attend their Miss Ukraine contest and after-party. In usual Paris tradition, she drunk, she slurred and high-fived a bunch of comrades with her crotch when she attempted to dance. At the end of the night some were overheard wishing for the return of the cold war, or at the very least an embargo on cheap American products. Except of course Coca Cola and blue jeans.

PS: Jean Claude Van Damme was also there (see pic). Yes, he’s still alive.

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Paris Hilton Brings Out the Cleavage

Here is STD waste bin Paris Hilton at The Grove for an interview on the entertainment television news program, Extra with Mario Lopez, (the combined STD potential between these two has got to be astronomical).

Paris made sure to cover the whole place with her surprisingly nice looking cleavage, as well as showing a bit of a stomach, which has got people speculating that she is pregnant. But that is clearly bull, she just had a hefty breakfast that morning, swallowing two gallons of cum.

But God save us all if she is really pregnant, that needs to get aborted before it becomes a human/herpes virus hybrid that kills us all.

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Ass shots of Paris Hilton

The title of this one gave me some trouble. There are clearly some decent ass shots among these pictures, but can they really be called ass shots when the girl in question, Paris Hilton, barely has an ass? I mean, what ass is there is pretty nice, but it’s definitely a little lacking. No matter. I saw an article recently asking if people are over Paris. Remember a few years back when you couldn’t go online without seeing something about her? I kind of like Paris more now that she’s faded into the background a little bit. Here at the Grand Prix in Barcelona, Paris strikes all of her usual poses, but I guess you can’t hate on a girl for sticking with what works.

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Paris Hilton on The Tonight Show

There was a time when I used to really defend Paris Hilton. Sure she’s sort of the stereotypical reality store that set the mold for the dumb blonds that followed her, but there was something about her I liked. She seemed to have a sense of humor about herself that I found appealing. I suppose that’s still true, but I guess I’m just sort of over here. Here on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno in LA she looks good enough and her boobs are awesome, but I just don’t really feel anything about the pictures or her one way or the other. She’s sort of old news to me now. I can’t be the only one.

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Paris Hilton Hates Black Guys

Paris Hilton’s racism is well documented (like that infamous video of her in a club where she looked into a camera and said, “We’re like two niggers.”). In his forthcoming book Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, professional poon-chaser Neil Strauss adds another instance of Hilton horror: When she was 18, Paris apparently told Strauss she had a “one percent” rule against dating black men. “I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross.”

LA Weekly provides the excerpt, in which a young Paris talks about making out with Vin Diesel before realizing he’s partly black and contemplates sexually extorting her father:

PARIS HILTON: I had a breast job when I was fourteen, but my mother made me take them out.

How old are you now?
HILTON:
I’m eighteen.

Are you working?
HILTON:
I’m thinking about posing for Playboy. They love famous people’s kids.

Like who?
HILTON:
I don’t know. And the only reason I’d do it is because when my dad finds out, he’ll pay me double the money not to do it.

Later…

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.

Which guy?
HILTON
(points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses) Does that guy look black to you?

How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON:
One percent is enough for me.

Thanks to this, hundreds of thousands of black men do not have herpes. African-American community, rejoice!

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Paris Hilton is a Nipplie Hippie

Paris Hilton was seen walking around in Beverly Hills today dressed up like a dirty hippie, a dirty hippie with rock solid nipples trying to break through her dress. I’m just legitimately surprised she has normal nipples that don’t glow green from all the STDs flowing through her veins.

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Paris Hilton and her enormous feet

People like to find one flaw on a gorgeous celebrity and run wild with it. Is it jealousy? I can’t speak for the rest of the world but for me, yeah, it totally is. I want to be gorgeous and rich although the famous part just seems like a pain in the ass. Megan Fox has a weird thumb. Nicole Kidman has her frozen forehead. Paris Hilton has… well, Paris has a lot of things. Her weird jaw, her pointy nose. There’s a lot to choose from. What I can’t get passed though is those clown feet of hers. The rest of her looks pretty hot in these pictures, but I can’t take my eyes off her feet. Of course when she opens her mouth, you can add her vapid personality to the list but in pictures, it’s always the feet for me. I take solace knowing that in a world where Paris is better than me in just about every way imaginable, I at least have normal lady-sized feet.

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Paris Hilton gets wet in Maui

And she went to the beach too. Anyway, here are some pictures of none other than Paris Hilton and her robber busting boyfriend Cy Waits as they frolic around in the waves on Maui beach. The couple are spent a romantic Christmas in Hawaii with Paris’ parents Kathy and Rick, her sister Nicky and Nicky’s boyfriend David Katzenberg. Sounds like a big, happy family reunion, but every time I imagine Christmas dinner, I can’t help but wonder if Kathy and Rick every find themselves staring at Paris wondering what went wrong. Does Godzilla have parents? If it does, I’m sure Godzilla’s parents feel the same way. “What have we created? Forgive us unleashing this terrible beast on the world!” Nah, I’m just playin’. Paris looks pretty hot. I’m sure people still care about her. Somewhere. Sometimes.

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Paris Hilton bikini fun in Hawaii

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Before the year 2010 meets its end, let me confess that I’ve been ignoring my favorite social butterfly for the whole year. Not because I’ve joined hands with her dumb critics or the love has faded, but because she’s been keeping herself away from her fun lifestyle for some weird reason. Anyway, here she’s seen enjoying herself in the exotic waters of Hawaii and offering a crash course on how to engage in some bikini fun. And giving me a good reason to write a quick post and relive old memories. I hope 2011 will be different and will strengthen our bond. Love you, Paris! Check out the gallery after the jump.
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Paris Hilton and her Sister Nikki Doing Bikini Related Things in Hawaii

Marine biologists will be reporting a new, hybrid species of crab on Wailea Beach very soon. Because the Hilton sisters have invaded Hawaii with their ugliness (along with Paris’s douchebag ape of a boyfriend, Cy Waits, who incidentally has bigger tits than both the Hilton sisters put together). Well, I maybe wouldn’t say Paris and Nikki are ugly. I’d just say I don’t want to catch Herpes.

Paris’s ability to land guys has certainly taken a post-pokey downturn, hasn’t it? From the hunky spawn of the richest European families to someone who looks like the type of douche who picks drunken fights with immigrant clerks in AMPM stores over the poor choice of jerky available. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer skank.

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Paris Hilton can’t dance but is great at posing

While on their own, these pictures of Paris Hilton at the Supermartxe VIP Party at Fabrik disco in Madrid, Spain are pretty hot. She looks good, right? She’s got all the standard Paris Hilton poses included – the ‘hands behind her head checking out her own boobs’ pose, the ‘bending over and sticking out her ass as far as possible’ pose, the ‘grabbing her own ass to call attention to it’ pose – and on their own, things look fine. When you see her actually dancing though? The girl has no rhythm at all. I mean, she’s not Elaine from Seinfeld bad, but a lesson or two wouldn’t hurt her. Who am I kidding though? No one pays attention to how well she’s moving as long as she showing off tits, ass or both while she’s doing it. And we’re talking about Paris here, so she usually is.

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Paris Hilton Stars in “Knifes on a Plane”

Now if THIS isn’t super important, world changing, breaking news, then really I don’t know what is. Paris Hilton and other passengers on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Maui were taken off the plane at LAX, after a passenger on the plane found a 4-inch serrated knife in a seat pocket. The passenger brought the discovery to the attention of a flight attendant, who then called security. Paris was nice enough to call up TMZ straight away to let them know about this super important event in her life.

Good thing nobody checked Paris’ “seat pocket”, amirite? They would have found a heck of a lot more dangerous shit than a box cutter stuffed up in her box.

Someone please tell me there is a video of this. Preferably in night-vision filmed with a hand held camera.

 

Paris Hilton shows off her boobs

I like boobs as much as the next mostly straight but a little curious girl, but there’s something a little underwhelming about Paris Hilton’s fun bags. Maybe it’s the fact that if she isn’t showing off the v she’s showing off the t. It’s a little hard to get excited about seeing something you’ve seen a million times. I mean, at this point, I’ve seen Paris Hilton’s boobs almost as much as I’ve seen my own. All the same, Paris looks pretty hot as she presents Supermatxe Motorcycle Team at Hotel ME, Madrid – hotter than she’s looked in a long time. The question that begs to be asked, though, is does anyone actually care about this babe anymore? Isn’t she a little last year (or two years ago, for that matter)? I guess all that really matters is that Paris is willing to pose like a stripper every chance she gets so she can try to stay relevant. That’s really her ace in the whole, but seriously – has anyone else seen ‘Repo! A Genetic Opera’ and felt a little sad that Paris made herself such a joke that no one cared she was actually pretty good in that movie?

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