Archive for the "Shauna Sand" Category

I Just Don’t Get The Appeal Of Shauna Sand

There was a time when I would’ve argued that Shauna Sand was one of the most beautiful women in the entertainment industry but that time passed a long, long time ago. These days, I find Shauna about as physically appealing as a Barbie doll. What changed? Shauna’s face and I don’t mean because she’s aged and lost her looks. I mean because she’s hit up the plastic surgeon about a dozen times too many. In an attempt to slow the signs of aging, she’s transformed herself into a completely different looking ‘person’. That’s just so sad to me. Of course, she isn’t the only one that has had a little more than too much work done. She just happens to be one of the first examples that comes to mind. All that aside, I have to admit Shauna looks good in some of these shots. In others … well, she looks good in some of these shots. Perhaps I’ll leave it at that.

I Just Dont Get The Appeal Of Shauna Sand

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Shauna Sand & Isabella: Shopping In Beverly Hills

Shauna Sand spends some time with her Daughter in Beverly Hills

Former Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand and her daughter Isabella, 11, had some one-one-one time in Beverly Hills on Friday (March 29).

Shauna kept it simple with a vintage raglan t-shirt, black leggings, and high gold platforms. Her daughter looked cute in a grey graphic t-shirt, studded army boots, and her hair in a bun.

Shauna’s stepdaughter Shayne Lamas, told Celebrity Baby Scoop that Shauna’s wardrobe choices leave her daughters embarrassed. “She is their mother and they love their mother, but they look at her like, ‘Oh my gosh, what are you wearing? You are not taking me to school in that!’ ”

View Slideshow »» Shauna Sand spends some time with her Daughter in Beverly Hills - Part 2 Shauna Sand spends some time with her Daughter in Beverly Hills Shauna Sand spends some time with her Daughter in Beverly Hills Shauna Sand spends some time with her Daughter in Beverly Hills

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Shauna Sand looks like she’s made of plastic.

Nope – just not loving these photos. I’m not even liking them. Perhaps I’m biased because I really, really dislike Shauna Sand. I think she’s almost become a parody of herself which is a shame. I used to think she was so absolutely stunning but plastic surgery has rendered her almost unrecognizable. Who is this woman with the weird lips and the vacant stare? I don’t know but I know it’s not the Shauna Sand I once knew and loved. I don’t get why someone so beautiful would do this to themselves. It just makes no sense. I get that aging can be frightening but you know what’s more frightening? Those lips. How can she look at herself in the mirror and not feel sad over what she’s done to her face. Breaks my heart.

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Shauna Sand is the epitome of class and that was the epitome of sarcasm

Shauna Sand is like an old beat up classic car that someone has lovingly restored in their garage. Many of the original parts have been worked on, cleaned up or completely replaced but after a lot of work and a lot of money, the end result looks pretty sweet. Honestly though, I honestly don’t believe there is a woman in Hollywood that out-trashes Shauna. I have to admit though, here at a Medical Marijuana Store in Hollywood, Shauna looks a little less trashy than usual. Her usual lucite heels have been replaced with something a little more modest. Those lips though – good heavens. Anyway, Shauna Sand … I don’t know what else to say about this woman. I do like the dress though although if I were to wear it, there would probably be jeans under it.

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Shauna Sand has sex on the beach… maybe

Oh paparazzi … really? At the same time, oh Shauna Sand … really? I guess Shauna Sand already has a sex tape out there so why not strip naked and have sex on the beach with your lover despite the fact that you’re a celebrity and cameras like to follow you everywhere. These pictures are hot in a way and Shauna’s man has a lovely behind but it’s a little hard to enjoy them when looking at the pictures makes me feel so wrong. These were not moments meant to be captured on film, unless of course, that’s what Shauna was going for. Maybe Shauna just doesn’t care. Sometimes the mood just hits, I suppose.

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Wednesday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.26.2011)

Courtney Stodden should take lessons from Shauna Sand on how to not get kicked from a pumpkin patch. “You make sure you always bring kids with you and when you flash your beaver be respectful to the pumpkins.”

Chaz Bono continues to slowly kill America with his creepy flat man-boobs.

Marilyn Manson started eating children early for Halloween.

Robin Williams just got married, which means we now have to be subjected to old folk make-out (in Paris).

Katy Perry’s crotch is trying to bring seizures about with its strobe lights.

Olivia Wilde going to her first directorial movie “Free Hugs”. I’m guessing she’s in need of a hug…or a fondle?What? Am I reading that slit wrong?

JLo’s youngest less attractive, less rich, less young-looking sister would like to sink those chompers in that Versace-clad back wouldn’t she?

Geri Halliwell wore that to support George Michael at his concert. “Thanks Geri. Now I’m assuming there’s a penis tucked underneath, otherwise I’ll have to return it. Tag’s still attached?”

Michelle Obama, really, really wants to eat that worm.

Denise Richards enjoying the new house Charlie Sheen bought for her.  “Charlie is the best father anyone could have. And his hookers are very nice and descent people, we’re all going to a picnic of love next week. God I love my new driving range!!!”

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The voluptuous and tanned Shauna Sand

Walking, talking Barbie doll Shauna Sand hit the beach in Miami, Florida wearing about the same amount of clothing she would normally wear to a night out at the bar and I guess I’m okay with that. She looks sexy and I guess that’s really all that matters. I will admit I’m not really this voluptuous and tanned Playboy model’s biggest fan, but she has plenty of them so I doubt my lack of appreciation for whatever it is that she does bothers her a whole lot. The woman is a train wreck of the highest order with three marriages under her belt and countless other personal dramas and scandals plaguing her but she’s always willing to throw on some tiny outfit and show off her body, so people still love her. I guess I have to give her props for that.

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Ass shots of Shauna Sand

I don’t get Shauna Sand. I really don’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t endorse a woman that’s more plastic than human flesh. I’m pretty sure saran wrap comes out when Shauna cuts herself. Those lips. Good Lord. Anyway, she has a pretty hot body so I guess that’s something she’s got going for her. I mean, most Playboy Playmates have had a nip or tuck here and there so I guess I shouldn’t really hate on Shauna for that, especially considering she’s one click shy of forty. I’ll be thrilled if I look like Shauna at forty. Then again, I don’t think I will ever have the money necessary to make that happen. Regardless of how I feel about Shauna, I’m sure many of you will enjoy these pictures of Shauna in Miami strutting her stuff on the beach. I will say she knows how to rock a bikini and doesn’t look quite as ‘worked on’ in these pictures as she does in many of her others.

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Shauna Sands’ Attempt at Being Happy

Over the weekend in Miami, Shauna Sands and her exquisite pair of breasticles were playing at a waterpark. To the masses’ surprise, she actually looked happy. Aside from her boobies, her trademark is looking sullen, even with her swollen, pouty lips.

It shows that children bring a smile even to the heart of the most fearsome ogres, assholes, and models. No boob ache is going to keep Shauna Sands down when she is playing with children! (Children who will most likely have some severe self-esteem issues in the future.)

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Shauna Sand’s Boobs are Sad

There is no reason on this green Earth that Shauna Sand, Playmate and fake-name-owner extraordinaire, should be sad. She has the tits of a goddess, the bank account of a man, and the amount of free time of a pot smoking high school programmer. Life is perfect!

But… not even a perfect life can keep some sexy pants-wetters happy. Obviously she doesn’t know us, or else we’d be doing our best to keep her happy. And we say our best, we mean things that are legal in the US.

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Shauna Sand & Her Girls Have Fun In The Sun

Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand was seen soaking up the sun with her three gorgeous girls - Alexandra, 12, Victoria, 11, and Isabella, 9 - along with her new beau in Miami, Florida on Tuesday (July 13). The girls' father is Shauna's ex-husband, actor Lorenzo Lamas.

Shauna enjoyed canoodling with her new, younger man as the girls swam in the water. At one point, Shauna and her daughters posed for a family photo.

The 38-year-old mother of three is allegedly joining the cast of VH-1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. To date, her biggest claim to fame is her sex tape, Shauna Sand Exposed. She attempted to thwart its release by suing Vivid Entertainment, the company that distributed the film, but was ultimately unsuccessful.

 

Shauna Sand and Her Kids Enjoy Her Tits

It’s good to see that enjoying life-preserver sized tits can be enjoyed by the entire family. Not only are they fun to squeeze, but in case of an emergency, little Sandy might be able to latch onto a freakishly large nipple in order to stay above the water!

…so maybe the size of her mammary glands are a little exaggerated, but she is a Playmate after all. What a lucky boyfriend she has. And what a lucky set of kids (that are nearly her boyfriend’s age).

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Shauna Sands and her magical, midget hammocks

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As we sit here, pondering what to write about a woman known for nothing else than a home sex tape(nice technique) and giant reserves of silicone, it suddenly hit us, like a bolt of fart dust, we really need no other reasons or story to post her other than there are tens of thousands of young men, looking for some spank material each day that come to this site, and it is our duty, our moral obligation, to deter them whenever we can. And so you all, those of hairy palms and chaffed shafts, behold the self-cock-blocker, Shauna Sands photos!

Your welcome.

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Shauna Sand To Join Cast Of ‘Celebrity Rehab’

Known for her penchant for leaving the house in eye-grabbing get-ups with one of her daughters in tow, Playboy playmate Shauna Sand is allegedly joining the cast of VH-1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

The mother of three (Alexanda, 13; Victoria, 10; and Isabella, 8) was once married to actor Lorenzo Lamas until their divorce in 2002. Since then, she's made a few appearances on T.V., most notably, she had a guest role on Charmed. Her biggest claim to fame however, is her sex tape, Shauna Sand Exposed. She attempted to thwart its release by suing Vivid Entertainment, the company that distributed the film, but was ultimately unsuccessful.

The details of Shauna's addiction have not been made public, but she is slated to check into the Celebrity Rehab clinic in Pasadena this weekend.

 

Joslyn James out promoting her upcoming Tiger Woods porn movie

40355PCN_James03Joslyn James was out on the promotional trail over the weekend to promote her new movie “The Eleventh Hole” that she just signed with Vivid Entertainment to star in and here she is in a fine pizza establishment pointing at one of those 11 holes. A little later on she proved how fast she can take down fluids of all kinds by visiting Millions of Milkshakes and making one disappear in 5 seconds flat.

PS: What’s up with her inflatables, particularly the left one? It looks like a midgit riding a tiny thimble-sized lawnmower run over it a few times. That or production of The Eleventh Hole already started.

Here’s the press release for the epic movie. Kendra Wilkinson’s breasts just exploded with envy right about now.

LOS ANGELES — Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film studio, has signed a contract with one-time Tiger Woods mistress Joslyn James to make “The Eleventh Hole,” a movie that will depict never-before-told intimate details of her three-year relationship with the golf champion.

The movie will take viewers behind the Tiger Woods headlines, gossip columns and texting to capture the most secret fine points about James’ affair with the golf icon.

In sensual and graphic terms, viewers will learn the between-the-sheets story behind the personal texts Woods sent to James.

The movie will be released under the studio’s Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has earned fame and notoriety for popular movies featuring celebrities having sex, from Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee to Kim Kardashian, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty and Playboy Playmate and reality TV star Shauna Sand.

James, also known as Veronica Siwik-Daniels, carried on a long-running affair with Woods after meeting him at The Bellagio resort in Las Vegas. She has disclosed numerous steamy text messages the two exchanged to arrange their trysts.

“Even at major tournaments we would manage to hook up, and in fact it wasn’t unusual for us to have sex four or five times a day,” she said in a recent interview.

Steven Hirsch, founder and co-chairman of Vivid, said he anticipates “a great demand for this film because we think it will tell the real story behind Woods’ voracious sexual appetite and the women who satisfied it.”

Joslyn recently consulted with Vivid when the studio held open auditions for the role of Tiger Woods in her upcoming movie which is expected to be released on May 17th.

 

Shauna Sand’s 1/3 botched nipple refused entry to nightclub

39735PCN_ShaunaShauna Sand and her dwarfish boyfriend were refused entry into Trousdale nightclub in West Hollywood last night, even after waiting in line for 30 minutes.

Security guard: “Ma’m, you can’t go in. You’re dressed inappropriately for our club. Trousdale has standards, you know!”

Shauna:”Don’t you “Ma’m” me young boy! Listen, i’ll let you suck my titties if you let me in.”

Security guard: “I said, you can’t go in, Trousdale has stand…(Lindsay Lohan stumbles out drunk and pukes on Shauna’s Snow White slippers). Oh, what the heck, meet you in the back alley in 30.”

 

Shauna Sand & Her Beverly Hills Bunch

Shauna Sand, along with her new beau, took daughters Alexandra, 12, Victoria, 10, and Isabella, 9, to on an outing in Beverly Hills, Calif. on Thursday (April 8).

The group of five enjoyed their walk together, also stopping at Pinkberry for some tasty treats.

The girls’ father is The Bold And The Beautiful’s Lorenzo Lama, to whom Shauna was married for six year before their divorce in 2002.

 

Heidi Montag can’t hug or run anymore.So basically Mattel needs to recall her

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Heidi Montag had a radio interview with Ryan Seacrest on Monday, and being the private person that she is, she told us everything we needed to know about her plastic surgery and then some more. Like for example, the fact that because of her unknown size breasts, she now can’t jog (did not clarify if it was due to obstruction of obstacles on the pavement or fear of them coming off their sockets and rolling down The Hill).

Via USMagazine:

On having a procedure she didn’t know anything about, but did it anyway because it sounded like fun:
When Ryan Seacrest asked her to clarify what a “back scoop” is, Montag replied, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”

On what her next steps to become a Hollywood mogul will be:
“I have the footage of my ten procedures. Going into it, getting it done…I’ve watched a little bit.” The bloody footage might see the light of day in a future reality show, Montag hinted.

On why Spencer is ecstatic he now has to spend less time with boobs and more time with the penis:
“I’m very weird about hugging people now — [my body] is very fragile.”

So basically what she’s telling us here is that she’s not all hard and rubbery. Too bad. We were so eager to push her off a cliff and watch her bounce off the rocks like a soccer ball. Well, there is always Shauna Sands..hmmm…

 

Octomom to do porn to avoid foreclosure?

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Vivid Entertainment is offering Nadya “Octomom” Suleman a way to avoid foreclosure on her home if she accepts to take part in a porn movie produced by the studio. Having said that, we’re now sure drugs are passed on trays as afternoon snacks at Vivid’s offices because who in their right mind took a look at those haunting images of octomom in her bikini and thought “hmm, wouldn’t it be such a turn on for all men out there to see the birth canal out of which the entire public school of Whittier, California emerged?”. Only problem now is finding a porn star who’s not afraid to stick his penis in Octomom’s fertility clinic only to come out seconds later with 99 embryos clutching on it and yelling “daddy, hold us”.

Here’s the Vivid Entertainment press statement released today:

LOS ANGELES – (Business Wire) The world’s leading adult film studio, Vivid Entertainment, told Nadya Octomom Suleman that it is prepared to save her home from foreclosure if she signs a movie contract.

It is the studio’s latest offer to the mother of 14, who is on the verge of foreclosure on her California home because she has missed several monthly mortgage payments as well as a balloon payment.

The studio made two offers to Suleman last year to try and interest her in working on a movie deal.

“We remain interested in working with Nadya and we’re prepared to make a new offer that would secure her living arrangements by having her home fully paid for,” said Steven Hirsch, founder and co-chairman of Vivid. “We have sent Nadya a letter offering to sit down and work out details that would be most comfortable for her. We understand that time is of the essence because, according to reports, she has until Tuesday to meet her mortgage obligations to the former owner of the house. We can act quickly to meet with her and her representatives to secure her home and to work with her on a movie that she can be proud of.”

Hirsch said that he will assure Suleman that she will be supported by top hair and makeup artists and will look glamorous. As is customary with the Vivid Girls, she will have her choice of partners. “We can also schedule production so that it will take less than a week in the L.A. area. That way she can be with her children every night,” he said.

Suleman would be joining a roster of famous personalities whose movies have been distributed under the Vivid-Celeb imprint. They include Kim Kardashian, Shauna Sand, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty and many others.

 

Shauna Sand still looking for her soulmate

FP_IMAGE_4720460/FP_SET_4718349Shauna Sands spent the weekend on the beach in Miami with her newest 19-something boy toy and from the happy look on his face we’re guessing they’re still not at that intimate stage in their relationship where she asks him to rip off her sewn on nipple so he can plug a leaky implant with his fist or put his face in her die-hole in search of the last French boy who went in there looking for her camcorder and got lost somewhere in her anal highway.

FYI, Shauna is feverishly working on her second sex tape seen that the first one was such a success and this Miami vacation was probably a break so she could regain her strength and get all her creative juices back into writing yet another amazing homemade music score. Can’t wait! For the music that is.

 

Terrorists use Shauna Sand’s breasts as bomb pouches

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Hey, did you hear the news about terrorists recruiting women and implanting bombs in their breast implants? Well, here’s Shauna Sand at the Miami airport and we’re pretty sure terrorists saw her huge sawn-on areolas and thought a detonating device could easily be inserted without surgery…just a good pocket knife to cut through the seamstress’s stitches. And it wouldn’t even have to take any recruiting…just telling her she’d be in a movie called “Giving The Infidels A Blow…Up Job” would be enough to Allahu Akbar.

 

Shauna Sands shows daughters her life on the strip

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Motherhood comes first to Shauna Sands (ok, maybe after collecting 5 dollar bills from a motel’s nightstand, or penis-shaped awards for her illustrious careers as a porn producer, director and actress aka ass that can double as an industrial cargo sized unit for penis storage). And so she decided to spend quality time with her two daughters, age 8 and 10 by putting on a demure see-through nightgown (accessorizing it with the carpet she stole from one of her visits at a fancy two star hotel) and taking them to get her nails done.

And because body language speaks volumes, we know the girls wished someone like Jack The Ripper showed up to take care of the hooker who was following them and constantly asking them to give her a signal if photographers showed up so she could pop a nipple out for a photo op. Kids can be so unappreciative of their loving parents these days.

 

Shauna Sand Is A Manicure Mama

Adult entertainment star Shauna Sand made an interesting fashion statement yesterday while on her way to a nail salon with her daughters Victoria, 10, and Isabella, 8 next month, in Beverly Hills, California (January 18). The mom-of-three left little to the imagination in a black see-through dress and of course her signature lucite heels.

Shauna, 38, also has daughter Alexandra, 12, from her previous marriage to actor Lorenzo Lamas. Now that the girls are getting older, I wonder how they feel about the way their mom dresses?

 

Shauna Sand & Her Shopgirls

Playboy model and occasional actress, Shauna Sand, brought two of her daughters - Alexandra, 12, and Isabella, who turns 8 next month - along for a shopping trip to Steven & Co. Jewelers in Beverly Hills on Thursday (January 14). Shauna's 10-year-old daughter Victoria was not seen with the trio. The girls' father is Shauna's ex-husband, Leave it to Lamas star Lorenzo Lamas.

Shauna can now add porn star to her resume. The 39-year-old mother of three recently decided to let Vivid Entertainment distribute her personal sex video, Shauna Sand Exposed, at a party hosted for her at Rick’s Cabaret-NYC on January 12.

At first I was outraged when I heard that a third party had given Vivid my personal and intimate video and I was ready to sue,” says Shauna. “This was a video that I made with my ex-boyfriend for our personal pleasure. But, I finally decided to take control and work with Vivid on the distribution. I’m so glad I did…I was proud of the footage when it was taken and I still feel good about it. I’m 39 years old, I’m in great shape, and I look forward to being in love again.”

 

Shauna Sands makes dream come true, walks the red carpet…so what if it’s the Porn Awards?

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The Adult Video News Awards were held on Saturday, Jan. 9 at the Palms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, and we’re guessing since Shauna Sands has produced, directed and starred in her own sex movie, that makes her now an official member of the anally-sore and scabies-challenged porn industry family. To commemorate this distinction, Shauna decided to show us what interstate truck-drivers get to sample in exchange for their 20 dollar bill by attending the ceremony in her g-string and ribbon-clad stripper heels.

And they say class, poise and dignity are dead. “Blowjob anyone? Oh, am i coming on too strong? Ok, how about a lap-dance? It’ll only cost you a fiver! Oh, crap is the mike on? Ok, i’d like to thank the academy, my children…”

 

Shauna Sands popped Chase Crawford’s cherry

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First of all, before we go into the details of this tremendously accurate story, let’s just point out that it was told by Shauna Sands, the woman who’s pictured here pimping her own sex tape (can’t picture anything classier than holding a sign of your sex DVD in the middle of the day in Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills…sure hope she rolled down the window for the kids while they were waiting in the car)…you know the one that some wonderful fairy with a soft spot for traumatizing nipples leaked online…because after all, credibility of the source is everything in deciding whether to publish or bury a story (and since we’ve taken up drinking when we started this site, you can pretty much forget about burying anything).

Oh, and a lesson to boys trying to break into Hollywood: Always incinerate the things you stick your penises in…you never know when they’ll come back looking to bite you in the ass (which they could secretly tape, provide the soundtrack of and send it by express courier to Vivid Entertainment…just an educated guess) .

Here’s the story via Star Magazine:

Four years before Gossip Girl brought him instant stardom, the 18-year-old hunky college freshman had a steamy, sex-filled romance with model/actress Shauna, the ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and May 1996 Playmate who is 14 years his senior!
“He was so incredibly beautiful — I immediately fell in love with him!” Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating “and I even gave him a key to my apartment,” Shauna said.
They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: “Chace told me, ‘Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I’ll never forget it!’”

 

Shauna Sand Dines With Her Daughters

Shauna Sand, 38, and her three beautiful daughters – Alexandra, 11, Victoria, 10, and Isabella, 8 – were spotted out for dinner in Beverly Hills last night (November 19).

The last time we spotted the family it looked as though Isabella had broken her arm – thankfully she seems to have healed!

The girls’ father is The Bold And The Beautiful actor Lorenzo Lama. Shauna and Lorenzo were married for six years before their divorce in October 2002.

 

Beyonce Knowles, we want to welcome you to the upskirt club!

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At this point in time, we would like to thank Beyonce for providing the breath of fresh air when it comes to our upskirt moments because after looking at pictures of Shauna Sands drawing smiley faces on her crotch for photo ops for the 100th time, we felt as excited about our club members as Lindsay Lohan is when asked to actually pay for goods she consumes (but instead of screaming and crying, we just look down at our sad puppy and say: “don’t worry, buddy, the novocaine will eventually wear off, you’ll see, someone new will come to save you”).

Beyonce was on her way out of Kanaola Club in London where she was hosting a star-studded event while on tour there when she failed to exhibit hide-your crotch-with jacket-ninja moves and subsequently exposed Jay Z’s private island…you know, the one he goes to when he wants to escape from it all…

Photos: Pacific Coast News

 

Shauna Sands dresses down for dinner;translation:sewn on nipples don’t go Freddy Crouger on us

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A couple of days after giving her little daughter a definite reason to say these lines on Bad Cops “i’m a drug-addicted prostitute and yes, i killed the bastard!” a few years down the road (see mommy dearest popping out nightmare nipple for photo op), Shauna Sands decided to dress down for a dinner night out with her girlfirends at Coco De Ville in West Hollywood (Nov. 11). This is definitely one girl that knows how to do demure (no need to be scared of the nipples…they are fenced, so they can’t bite today).

Photos: Fame

 

Lorenzo Lamas’ Giggly Girls

Lorenzo Lamas took his daughters Alexandra, 11, Victoria, 10, and Isabella, 8, to the Miller Robertson Animal Hospital in West Hollywood, California yesterday (November 9). Looks like the girls got a case of the giggles along the way!

Commenting on the news of the leak of his ex Shauna Sand's sex tape, the 51-year-old actor recently said, "I don’t feel great about it. The children are too young to understand it," adding, "if they have any question I will talk to them about it."

 

Shayne Lamas parties it up ex step-mommy style

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Here’s Shayne Lamas celebrating her 22nd birthday and in doing so giving a shout out and a “thank you” to Shauna Sand for the positive influence she had on her during those 8 years she was with her daddy Lorenzo and her brother AJ (but we’re jumping to conclusions here, so let’s keep it classy). Something about Shayne’s butt cheeks reminded us of her famous quote spewed out a couple of weeks ago concerning her ex step-mommy and her “leaked” sex tape so we’ll refresh your memory:

“It’s no shock that Shauna basically gave her seal of approval on the tape. She will probably try to get producing and directing credit as well.”

“I hear it’s pretty hardcore and she does all her own stunts too!”

“There has never really been much of a difference between Shauna and a blowup doll… Cheap, mostly plastic and a head full of air. She is pure trash.”

We suppose being engaged to the British Bachelor, calling off the engagement as soon as the camera lights turn off and starring in a trashy Reality TV Show (Leave It To Lamas) where you try to solve the case of whether your ex step-mother slept with your brother while married to your father does not smell of trash one bit. Thank goodness for Shayne’s birth mother. She is the classy one from the brood (joking, see picture)!

 

We don’t care what you say, Shauna Sand is a fun date

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Shauna Sand, best known for being Lorenzo Lamas’ trampy ex-wife, has reportedly dropped her lawsuit over an allegedly unauthorized sex tape. Seems Vivid Entertainment — which plans to release the video — hired a handwriting expert to analyze the signature on their contract to release the video. Turns out it’s Shauna’s. SURPRISE!

They now claim that Sand withdrew the cease-and-desist order.

What does this prove? Two things are possible: That she just didn’t remember signing it, and that she actually can sign her own name.

The latter is amazing.

This is just one of several sex tapes Sand has admitted to making.

“Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I’ve made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn’t sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get ahold of my attorney now,” she told TMZ earlier this month.

 

Shauna Sand is selling her tits on Ebay;Buy it now for $9.99 (with video)

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Shauna Sand’s lucite stripper heels must be busted because she’s out selling her stuff for$0.99 to buy new ones. Shauna posted a video yesterday announcing to the world that Christmas is right around the corner and her autographed titties would make a much better present than socks. We’re just hoping that the 60 bucks she gets for all her junk motivates her to put her actual fake knockers up for auction…we’ve already set our ebay alert, just in case…

 

Megan Fox wanted to do Jennifer’s Body because the screenwriter wore stripper shoes

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It feels good to confirm, even if it is for the 100th time, that Megan Fox is the hottest air balloon out there. And definitely very happy to realize we might just get the chance to watch her playing a premium ham sandwich in a porn movie since the the adult industry thrives in stripper shoes.

Megan says of screenwriter Diablo Cody (for Jennifer’s Body): “She was really shy and really nice and she had on these six-inch pair of clear high heels, like the kind that strippers wear.

“I loved that in Hollywood here she was walking around in stripper shoes.

“It’s what swayed me to do the movie.”

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Shauna Sand showed up in her clear plastic stripper shoes, Megan Fox got carried away and the two made a movie? But it would have to be in a dessert so that the two can be naked…and then Megan gets really thirsty and her only choice to survive is to kill Shauna and drink from her implants…but after she does that she realizes that chugging saline is kinda like drinking sea water and so she strangles a camel (can’t find an ox in the dessert) and drinks its blood (Shauna’s as it turned out was too toxic to drink).

 

Shauna Sand is ‘upset’ over ‘leaked’ sex tape

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For all the silicone pumped into her lips and breasts, Shauna Sand still has a few braincells devoted to maintaining her business AKA getting her name in all the gossip blogs.  Those brain cells must have been working overtime, then, when she ripped off the idea to put out her own sex tape, feign outrage and reap the rewards by getting press in some actual national rags and newspapers.

“Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year,” Sand admitted. “In fact, I’ve made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn’t sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now.”  Several sex tapes?  Fingers crossed there’ll be a sequel!

Celebrity smut film promoter, Vivid, has scooped up the cinematic masterpiece, which at first glance, is suspiciously over produced for an intimate home tape.  Then again, Shauna is nothing but a consummate pro when it comes to documenting her every big-boobed step.  We wouldn’t put it past her to hire some scummy paparazzi to film her getting it on, even if it was only intended for personal use.

According to Vivid founder Steven Hirsch, “the scenes are of an incredible high def quality, which makes it the hottest celebrity sex footage I’ve ever seen. Shauna was obviously having fun and loving what she was doing on camera and she is bursting with sex appeal.”

Yes, sex appeal and most likely at least 2 forms of STDs.

 

Shauna Sand dresses like a teenage skank for her 38th birthday

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Shauna Sand is known for dressing like a blind hooker, but she really made sure her customers could see what she was selling on a recent night out in Hollywood.  The age-confused blonde went out to celebrate her 38th birthday with her greasy boy-toy in a see-thru dress (hello panties!) emblazoned with ’sugar rush’ across her ample chest.

That juvenile dress was so skimpy, we think we can see what she ate for dinner outlined across her tiny stomach.  Keeping it classy, as always, Shauna completed her outfit with some sky-high stripper heels.  We hope she’s still tottering in those suckers when she’s 70 and her fake tits are down to her belly button.

 

Shauna Sand has a two track mind, one for each of her over-inflated chest ornaments

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Shauna Sand is the skanky Playboy ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas who, if you didn’t know, broke up her own marriage when she began boinking Lorenzo’s then-18-year-old son A.J.  But she can’t help it!  Shauna was born with a two-track mind:  1.) look cheap and 2.) bump uglies.  Today, she’s slutting it up with another young dude, some wannabe model named Gregory Knudsen.

Shauna is basically a Real Doll mixed with a little Weird Science and it’s a wonder that she can continually hang out in the ocean and not completely ruin her leather exterior.  If General Motors started making their interiors out of the stuff doctors have been stuffing into her, it would probably save the whole American automobile industry from going under.

 

Shauna Sands:Topless barbie on a spit

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After much googling of herself and realizing the coverage of her bikini pics was beginning to look like the last set of tits she had (sad and drooping), Shauna Sands decided it was time to up the ante…by letting her semi-roasted howlers hang out. For those few brave ones, the NSFW pics are there to peruse…but only if you’re into heavily botched and scorched nipples.

Gotta say, Shauna has to change her attention-grabbing techniques soon…maybe naked bull-running in Spain…preferably while wearing the stripper slippers…if she can walk in the sand, she can definitely try to outrun the bulls in them. And speaking of the stripper slippers (just because we were bored), we found a picture of her from 2004 wearing the same pair…must be the Cinderella-turned-slut-when-no-prince-with-glass-shoe-turned-up syndrome…

 

Shauna Sands exposes her inflated lips and inflated money makers

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Shauna Sands must have had an extreme case of mononucleosis or something, because we haven’t seen her half naked for like 3 weeks. Well just in time for the slow weekend, Shauna saves a slow news day with some silicon T&A. Thanks Barbie!

 

Shauna Sand Topless Pictures

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Here’s model and actress Shauna Sand on the Miami beach yesterday, soaking up the sun and making the most of her time. Accidentally she shows some nipple, but we don’t mind. Not at all.


Photos: Splash News

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