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Dennis Rodman is going to Coach a Topless Women’s Basketball Team?
What happened to Kate Moss?
Dean McDermott accidentally posts topless picture of Tori Spelling
Apparently being forced to look at Tori Spelling’s chest hole for all these years has damaged Dean McDermott’s vision, causing blurring and black spots that prevent him from recognizing titis when lurking in the background.
Dean posted what at first glance seemed to be an innocent picture of their 4-year old son, Liam on Twitter Wednesday. If you take a closer look, however, you will notice a pair of frankenstein boobs reclining on a sofa or a bed behind the kid’s head.
McDermott took the picture down after 75,000 of his followers, pointed out they have witnessed a terror that shall haunt them forever but the question remains. What the hell was Tori Spelling doing lying around topless with her kids in the same room? I’m going to go with breast-feeding 4-year olds so I can keep my sanity. In which case, good luck to the therapist that will attempt to erase their adult nightmares in which they forever gaze into a bottomless cannon ball hole which suddenly turns into a hot spring spewing burning milk on their faces. “Come and get your milk, dearies!!!!”
Courtney Love storms off stage after unleashing rant at fan
Apparently going topless and causing a sea of vomit are not the only things Courtney Love accomplished during her concert in Sao Paolo, Brazil last Saturday. A fan had the audacity to hold up a Kurt Cobain picture during one of her songs, which resulted in Courtney going apeshit and unleashing her poetic wrath on him.
‘I don’t need to see a picture of Kurt, and I’m going to have you f****** removed if you keep throwing that up,’ she said.
‘I’m not Kurt – I have to live with his s***, his ghost and his kid every day. Throwing that up is stupid and rude and I’ll beat the f*** out of you if you do it again.’
‘You weren’t f****** married to him, I f****** was. You weren’t kicked out of a band by him like Dave – he did.’
‘Go see the f****** Foo Fighters and try that s***’…’Great we’ll leave now. F*** you!’
Courtney Love goes topless on stage
Courtney Love was performing in Sao Paolo, Brazil Saturday night when for some ungodly reason only understood by her and a couple of filthy heroin syringes, she pulled down her tube top and performed an entire song with her boobs hanging for thousands to see. And because I will assume that normal people have the same bodily reaction as I do at the sight of a corpse with breasts, the entire crowd spent the next 10 hours vomiting blood on each other. So let’s just go ahead and file this under another of Courtney Love’s crimes against humanity.
Thursday’s Miscellaneous Junk You Might Like (10.11.2011)
This Marc Jacobs perfume ad featuring 17-year old Dakota Fanning has been banned for “sexualizing children”.
Don’t know what to laugh at first. Madonna actually believing she can play director and hold a camera without it spontaneously bursting into flames or that she looks younger than the 30-year old actress who plays in her movie thanks to photo-shop.
Katie Holmes’ sad, well, everything is also brushed away thanks to the airbrushing fairies.
Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman have been inflating their lips with baby seal fat again.
Anna Friel is the naked Santa in the British Tatler.
Blake Lively and Oprah brought their cleavages to the Versace at H&M event in NYC last night. The first makes the world look better and the second just makes me want to microwave a sweet potato with a topping of cheese and beans.
Selena Gomez is already taking lessons from Lindsay Lohan in the art of subtle hookery.
Katy Perry and Russell Brandt making out at the LAX arrival terminal.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt continuing their humanitarian efforts in Tokyo while at the same time they’re being sued for firing a secretary because she has an illness that forced her to take too many sick days off.
Kristie Brinkley looks amazing for a 57-year old. Does she also eat newborn placenta for breakfast?
Christina Aguilera is now reduced to game launch appearances. Geeks worldwide rejoice!
Megan Fox looks like she’s been sleeping under a bridge the last few days. The wrath of Michael Bay can do that you.
Demi Moore is really not making an appealing case for why Ashton Kutcher should permanently forgo sex with pretty young things who are still alive.
And now the world’s oldest supermodel. At age 80, Carmen Dell’ Orefice (no seriously, that’s her name) is now modeling at runway shows because Bernie Madoff stole all her savings. Right after she plucks her beard and puts crazy glue on her hip joints. True story.
Marion Cotillard goes topless for a movie
Marion Cotillard was in the South of France yesterday, filming a French mystery movie called Rust And Bone, which required her to take her top off and swim in the cold water for hours, because that’s gotta be the clue for who the killer is, right? “Brezts, i see brezts, now I know who ze kilerr iz!!”
PS: If you’re wondering why the green socks and the flabby dude carrying her, she’s playing an amputee and the green socks will give the illusion of amputated legs when placed against a green screen. Just killed your buzz didn’t I? Non? You only draw the line at quadriplegics?
Mischa Barton loves making out with red meat? That’s how I’m reading this.
For a site who busts out dick jokes like Fourth Of July fireworks on a daily basis, these pictures are a goldmine, but we will refrain from making fellatio references because we took an oath to not make fun of the mentally retarded. Something obviously not shared by celebrity photographer Tyler Shields who told Mischa Barton to get totally naked, threw milk on her,told her to roll in flour and then slap herself with raw beef. “Oh, man, I’m having so much fun today!! And can you believe it? I told her this would revive her career and she totally bought it! Down Syndrome people are totally gullible! Now honey, turn around and slap your cellulite monster with that meat. I promise that will propel your career to new heights! Man, I think I just pissed myself!”
Sophie Monk somehow turned down $1million offer to do Playboy
Because today it’s “believe whatever bullshit D-listers come out with” day, Sophie Monk, you know, the chick who’s been topless more times than Mel Gibson had Jew-fueled DUIs, has turned down $1million offer to do Playboy because it would hurt her movie career. You’re allowed to laugh.
Here’s parts of the interview she gave to an Australian radio station:
‘I got offered Playboy, the cover.’
‘They’re trying every angle to get me to do it. They’re relaunching the whole thing and making it old school again because it kind of lost it for me.’
‘Some people are like, no,’ . ‘My agent said it could stop me getting movies.’
‘I’ve done a movie as not myself for like $2.50 showing my boobs, but being me naked selling magazines for men to get excited over is a different story for me, personally.’
The topless Rihanna scenes that offended the Irish
Yesterday we posted pictures of Rihanna shooting her new video for her song “We found love” somewhere in Ireland, wearing bandanas in place of underwear and running around in a hay field. Apparently, she took her top off at some point and started running around topless. Well, the farmer who owned the field noticed, took offence and chased her out of his property:
“I thought it was inappropriate. I requested them to stop and they did,” he explained.
“I had my conversation with Rihanna and I hope she understands where I’m coming from. We shook hands,” he said.
Mr Graham admitted that he did not know who the 23-year-old sex symbol was when he got a phone call to ask for the use of his field in Bangor, County Down, for a pop video last week.
“I didn’t know who was coming. If the name ‘Rihanna’ had been mentioned, well, no disrespect but it wouldn’t have meant anything,” he explained.
… “From my point of view, it was my land, I have an ethos and I felt it was inappropriate.
“I wish no ill will against Rihanna and her friends. Perhaps they could acquaint themselves with a greater God,”.“Now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll go drink myself to a state of oblivion. And maybe it will finally give me the courage to ask one of those pretty little goats out on a date. We have ethos here in Ireland, we’ll have you know!”
Demi Moore Twits Naked Pic; Ashton Kutcher must be cheating on her again
Demi Moore posted a nude photo of herself to Twitter on Friday with the following caption: remember…..you’ve got your own back
A completely reasonable reaction to Ashton Kutcher getting Charlie Sheen’s role, which implies that pretty soon he’ll be having crazy sex with two twenty-year old goddesses.
Billie Faiers Topless in Spain
We’ve never seen British reality show “The Only Way is Essex,” but it seems to be a show with a cast of hot busty chicks that love to spend the summer completely topless, which makes us think we need to watch it ASAP. Take Billie Faiers here, while relaxing with some friends and other cast members in Spain, she decided that a game of topless chicken sounded swell. And we agree.
Page 3 Model Leilani Dowding Goes for Another Topless Swim
Way back in April this year, we saw Page 3 model and Miss Universe contestant Leilani Dowding walking around topless on a beach, with her bikini top in her left hand. Then today what do we see? A topless Leilani Dowding walking around topless on a Miami beach, with her bikini top firmly grasped in her left hand. It’s almost as if she was doing a parody of herself. Or is this maybe her “I’m just casually getting out of the water and smiling at life while walking to my towel” pose that she’s crafted specifically for the paparazzi?
Danica Thrall Topless Lingerie Outtakes from Nuts Magazine
Tell you the truth we normally don’t have a clue what differentiates an outtake from the rest of published pictures from a photo shoot (all of it should be published damn them!), but this makes perfect sense because Danica Thrall was supposed to be wearing lingerie here. Oops!
It’s cool though! She did get a few pictures with her lingerie on here and there, so the Nuts Lingerie Issue got made. And in her defense, her breasts are somewhat defiant when it comes to bras. You can’t hold them down! Ain’t nothing gonna break-a her boobies’ stride.
Pohotoshoot Outtakes for Lucy Pinder’s 2012 Topless Calendar
WOO! It’s a good day today gentleman, Why you ask? Because Nuts Magazine has released these photos of a topless Lucy Pinder that might, or might not be used in her upcoming 2012 calendar. As we all know, the only thing better than a calendar with topless pictures of Lucy Pinder on it would be a sun dial modeled off Lucy’s rack. And don’t even try to tell us that Lucy Pinder’s tits aren’t celestially aligned.
Nuts had a chat with the lovely Lucy too. When Nuts asked, “Do you keep a stash of calendars in the boot of your car in case of emergencies?” Lucy responded, “No, but I guess I should. My mum keeps stashes of them to hand out to family and friends, but I always forget to take some for myself.” That is one supportive mom! Also, it must be pretty weird to be Lucy’s aunt or uncle, having the girl’s mother hand you a calendar every year. It’s half-sweet, half-awkward, all-boner.
Milla Jovovich is a (Topless) Badass
5th element Milla Jovovich and her husband were taking a topless dip in the pool when she noticed a fishing boat snapping pictures of them; so being a classy lady she gave them the finger with all the gusto she could muster. Heck, the pictures are so cool that we want to make a flipbook out of it.
She expressed her rage on Twitter soon after these pictures were taken.
this is 4 the paps: we r on 2 your “fishing boat” tricks. LEAVE US ALONE!!!! STOP TAKING NUDY PICS OF MY HUBBY!!!!
YOU GOT IT?!!! I KNOW YOU’RE READING THIS, PPL ON THE BOAT OUTSIDE OUR VILLA RIGHT NOW!!!! NOT COOL.
But she soon cooled off and tweeted:
Thru our telescope the photog looks nice. We’re laughing our butts off now! I know u’re jst doin your job dude. whatev.
Best part about all this is how the bird flipping suddenly turned into hugging and piggyback riding fun. So much drama, and yet so much awesomeness.
FEMEN Do Other Stuff Besides Activism (But They are Still Topless)
All female, Ukranian activst group FEMEN are not just into flashing their tits to foment social change. They’re also into flashing their tits in order to.. .actually, we have no idea what Like.LB.ua is supposed to be, but if we’re parsing the translated version of the website properly, it seems that it’s some sort of entertainment news site?
Yeah, we guess that’s more or less along the lines of fighting for freedom of the press. Hey, as long as there are topless girls involved, right?
Heidi Klum Sunbathes Topless in Corsica
Presenting one of the best looking women [who has spat out four children] you’ll ever see semi-naked, with a beer in hand, and not giving a shit.
As two of the world’s richest supermodels, Kate Moss and Heidi Klum are bound to have a lot in common. But we’re especially pleased to note that they share a love of topless sunbathing. Yes, while Kate Moss tries to see just how many yachts she can (toplessly) soak up the sun on, Ms. Klum seems hell bent on experiencing each and every topless beach that Europe has to offer. Last week it was Ibiza, now we find her in Corsica.
If only Kate would dock her yacht on the shore of one of Heidi’s beaches… then it would really be a party.
Kate Moss Takes a Topless Plunge
Check out these pictures of a topless Kate Moss taking a plunge into the ocean as she leaped off a yacht in St. Tropez, France yesterday. Apparently she doesn’t mind jumping into somewhat cold water, nor does she mind showing her tits in the process (does she ever?), but if water goes up her nose there is going to be HELL TO PAY.
Kate does topless activities by the water like tits and aqua were going out of style.
Adrianne Curry is Really Good at Twitter
Not too long ago Adrianne tweeted a whole bunch of pictures of her self on vacation, in a variety of bikinis. Well she´s back to giving her Twitter followers gigantic erections as she tweeted this picture of herself sunbathing topless today. Everything about it is wonderful. She’s tanned, shiny, naked, and you can see pretty much every part of the mountain (save for the peak). Heck, she even posted it as a huge picture so you can make it your wallpaper, or using a rasterbator, a huge poster for your patio that you can sunbathe next to and feel like you’re hanging out with Adrianne.
Rosie Jones Topless for The Sun
Here is English glamor model Rosie Jones, getting her tits out for English tabloid, The Sun, in a little photoshoot they decided to title, “Rosie Jones – Basque In Her Glory”, and we think that is pretty much spot-on title when describing the required reaction to Rosie Jones in lingerie. There is no way we can think of a better title…well apart from, “Hey Lads, Rosie Jones Has Bloody Fantastic Tits, Innit?”
Kate Moss Spends Her Honeymoon Being Topless
Oh, Kate Moss, you’ve just had a fabulous, decadent wedding attended by a legion of A-listers, and now you’re off to your honeymoon. How are you going to celebrate your newlywed bliss? By sailing around on a yacht, sunbathing topless? Well…given that that’s how you seem to celebrate everything (while snorting cocaine of a dirty toilet seat), we guess that would make sense.
Video of Miranda Kerr’s Sexy Photo Shoot for GQ Magazine
Who can forget the issue of GQ magazine that had Miranda Kerr being all topless and sexy? Not us. And now we can see the behind-the-scenes video that made it all happen. Yes, it’s literally minutes and minutes of writhing.
If nothing else (don’t worry, there’s definitely something else), it’s neat getting to see the before and after. For example: we were stoked about Miranda Kerr’s tan lines in these photos, and now we know that they’re pretty much fake. That doesn’t make them less appealing, but it does make us conscious of the suggestive power of tan lines. Can you imagine a serious business meeting to debate the addition of tan lines to this photo?
Gwyneth Paltrow Wears a Handbra for Vanity Fair
You may hate Gwyneth Paltrow for that obnoxious web magazine of hers, GOOP, you may hate her “Glee” cameos, you may hate her cheerful obliviousness to her own privilege and assumption that everything that’s been handed to her on a diamond encrusted silver platter is something she’s earned through hard work. But put all those feelings aside: Gwyneth’s posed (well kinda) naked for Vanity Fair…and that can only inspire love (no hate!).
Wait no, f$%k it. We still hate the bitch.
Nora Arnezeder Sunbathing Topless in Spain & Kissing Another Chick
If you’re not a connoisseur of French cinema, you may not be familiar with the name Nora Arnezeder. But that’s all about to change. Or at least, the part about not knowing Nora Arnezeder’s name (though you really should make an effort to watch more French films, if only for boobs).
But back to our original point: what makes Ms. Arnezeder such a force to watch out for? Well, in addition to the fact that she’s been shooting a few English language films, there’s also her noble campaign to bring back topless sunbathing (which, according to a few trend pieces we’ve read, is no longer in fashion). Oh, and did we mention she likes to kiss ladies? This woman is a triple threat if we ever met one.
Geri Halliwell Removes Her Bikini Top & Puts On a Handbra
Geri Halliwell was on a boat in Southern France over the weekend, searching for a perfect bikini to wear, and clearly decided to discard this one while she’s in the process of looking for a better top. Of course, Geri tried to keep her exposure modest; we can really only see like, half of her nipple here. And not even well. But her boobs are huge! So it’s well enough! And we’re also easily titillated by self-gropage, so she’s not making us want to look away.
Candice Swanepoel Exposes Her Nipple in MenStyle Magazine
The weather may be turning chilly in Australia, but don’t expect to see Victoria’s Secret supermodel Candice Swanepoel bundling up in the Down Under edition of Men’s Style magazine. To the contrary: she’s happily stripped down…perhaps encouraging her Australian fans to warm themselves by imagining they’re in the balmy landscape right beside Ms. Swanepoel?
Oh and don’t ask us what the hell this has to do with men’s style. But we know perfectly well it has everything to do with men’s passions.
Lucy Pinder is the Queen of Boobs – Part 2
A few weeks ago, when the world was obsessing about the royal wedding, our focus was planted firmly on a royal of an entirely different sort, namely Lucy Pinder, the Queen of Boobs. If you were similarly swept up in the pomp and circumstance of Ms. Pinder’s coronation, then, well, you’ll be pleased to know that there are many, many more photos from her celebration… and we have them all for you right here!
FEMEN Address Dominique Strauss-Kahn Rape Charge by Undressing (Of Course)
The charges that IMF managing director Dominique Strauss-Kahn allegedly sexually assaulted a hotel maid are deadly serious. Less serious? FEMEN’s attempt to use that assault as an allegory for the IMF’s rape of the world’s poor and weak. At least, wethink that that’s the point that this topless woman in the shoddily made maid’s uniform is trying to make (but to be honest, her Ukrainian boobs make it hard to think critically and stuff).
Kate Moss Goes Topless in Vogue Magazine
We don’t think we’ve ever seen Kate Moss’ lower back tattoos, but that could be because we’re usually fixated on her breasts, not her ass. Kind of unfairly, as it turns out; that ass is not too bad looking, and Vogue Brazil agrees, as they put it on their cover.
Not just any cover, either apparently. It’s their 36th anniversary edition, which we didn’t realize was a “big deal” year, but fashion is funny that way. But we’re not going to complain about anything that gives us the opportunity to ogle Ms. Moss’ assets, though.
Nicole Scherzinger & Her Boobs in GQ India
So what is your favorite angle to view a nice set of boobies (apart from right up in your face motorboting you)? Well today we have sideboob, underboob and some good old general cleavage (inner sideboob?). They’re all here in this photo spread from the May 2011 issue of GQ India. Pretty much everything except full frontal boob (obviously the best one). But hey, since it seems unlikely that GQ India is going to have full on toplessness, we appreciate the extended effort that they (and Nicole Scherzinger) went to to get as much exposed boob as possible into this issue.
Look What We Found in Our Basement: Pictures Of Sophie Monk Sunbathing Topless
Let us tell you a crazy story folks: You see, a few years ago, we ran these photos of Sophie Monk in a bikini. Pretty standard stuff, to tell you the truth…except that now it seems that the photos we came across weren’t the full story.
See, based on one of the photos, we knew that Sophie had spent some of her day sunbathing topless…but we were pretty sure that—save for one photo of her covering her boobs with her arms—none of that sultry action had been captured on film. Well, we’re here today to tell you that we were wrong: and with the help of the internet, we’ve been able to right our past wrong, and show you the glory that is Sophie Monk, sunbathing topless.
Kate Middleton Who? A Topless Katie Green is All the Royalty We Need
We don’t know if we’d go so far as to call lad mag hottie Katie Green a Kate Middleton lookalike (we haven’t even seen Kate Middleton topless!), but we do appreciate the effort she’s going to to show off her national pride this week.
It might not take that much skill to doff your top, don a crown, and wrap yourself in the British flag…but it does take some work (finding the flag has gotta be at least a fifteen minute commitment, right?)—and we’re very, very glad that Katie is the one who stepped up to see it through.
Brooklyn Decker is a Topless Goddess
Just a simple side glimpse of Brooklyn Decker’s awesomely naked boobs caused all types of erections a while back. But now, prepare yourself for the ultimate thrill: we’ve stumbled upon photos of Brooklyn completely topless—and totally facing the camera. No slightly obscured sideboob here!
Though we aren’t sure what these photos are for, or why they were taken in the first place, we have to express our sincere and most humble thanks and gratitude to Ms. Decker for deigning to strip off for her adoring public. We may not be worthy… but we’re ever so appreciative.
Nuts Magazine Presents – 100 Topless Babes!
You know what it’s like to sift through website after website, looking for a large enough cache of topless women to fap to, and finding nothing? And then to have this spread rain down on us like busty manna from the heavens, it’s too much to deal with right now. We have to say though, we’re glad that the UK’s Nuts Magazine didn’t bother ranking these women in order of “Sexiness” or “Boobtasticness” or “Toplessness.” That last one might be interesting to read about because to us, these women are all equally topless.
Kate Bosworth Goes Topless on a Beach
Here’s Kate Bosworth going for a topless swim in Cancun, Mexico yesterday and proving she is in fact a which. How so you ask? Well she walked out of the ocean topless, then walked across the beach topless, then walked back into the ocean topless, and yet there’s not a single frontal picture of her bare boobs. None.
The tune, “Turn Around, Look At Me” by The Vogues comes to mind. I wish she would!
Page 3 Model Leilani Dowding Goes for a Swim…a Topless Swim
This little thing right here is Page 3 model Leilani Dowding, who was in Miami beach yesterday being all pretty and what not. What’s great is that half way through her beach fun she decided to remove that suffocating bikini top and playfully splashed around in the water with her itty bitty titties on show. We approve. Just in case she was looking for our approval. Well she has it. Approved.
Kathy Griffin Dances Topless by a Road in Miami
There are many celebrities who we expect to see tweeting topless photos of themselves. Kathy Griffin is not one of them. As the sun began to rise over the sandy shores of Miami Beach, passersby on the waterfront got to see something they’ve probably never seen before… Kathy Griffin’s knockers!
For some reason unknown to us (though we imagine it was for attention), the reality star and comedienne walked out onto the dock of a waterfront home clad in nothing more than a bikini bottom. With her 50 year old itty bitty titties flopping about.
Kathy tweeted the pictures herself, but shortly after she (or TwitPic) deleted the photos… but, this being the internet and all, it was archived by many pervs all around the globe before it was removed from TwitPic.
Danica Thrall Goes Topless for Nuts
Danica Thrall got our complete attention back in December ’10 when we were first thrilled with this Brit bombshell with pics from her stupidly-sexy Loaded UK cover shoot. Today, the thrill ain’t gone and we are going f$#ing NUTS over Danica’s new outtakes from her recent Nuts Magazine shoot. Where yet again, her breasts are on full display. This girl is insanely gorgeous and her allergy to clothing is probably the best thing about her. More please. And by more we mean a professionally shot HD video of Danica here, with some adult beverages, a ton of baby oil and half a dozen or so of her lady friends.
Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones Together in Nuts Magazine
Lucy Pinder and Rosie Jones should be the new lesbian power couple that everybody could be obsessed with. We could call them “Losie” or “Rucy” and the tabloids would say things like, “Losie Splitting Up! Lucy too Jealous of Rosie’s Big Boobs!” Then of course we’d need a sex tape released too, to properly celebrate their love.
Seriously girls, make it happen. The world would be a better place.
