Archive for the "Toys" Category

Epic FAIL Poppers the Clown Failure Toy Review by Mike Mozart of JeepersMedia Funny Video

 

The Many Disorders of Winnie the Pooh

So I was watching The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh with my 2 year old and I thought to myself how f*cked up is this cartoon.  At first glance it’s just a heart warming story about this five year old boy, Christopher Robin. He uses his imagination to bring his stuffed animals to life as they play and build long, life lasting friendships in his backyard, aka…the 100 acre woods. I used to love this cartoon as a child and fondly remember watching with the same adoring eyes my son has for him now.

Maybe I’ve lost my innocence and that is why as an adult, I can see Christopher Robin and his gang of mental asylum junkies for what they really are. Plain and simple, Winnie the Pooh is based on psychological problems. Maybe this is why we can relate to this ”silly ol’ bear”, because who out there isn’t a little crazy. Here is my diagnosis of the occupants living in the 100 Acre Woods.

Winnie the Pooh has an eating disorder. Have you seen the way this glutton devours honey? It’s disturbing the amount of honey he’s able to consume. Also based on the heffalumps and woozles, he may be an alcoholic. Why else would he crave all that honey unless he puts something extra in it?

Piglet suffers from anxiety. I’ve never seen anyone with anxiety as bad as this little pig. ”Oh dear, d-d-d-dear, dear.” The anxiety causes him to stutter, he may even have suicidal tendencies. I mean, I don’t know any other pig that would be willing to hang out with a tiger or a bear as much as this guy.

Eeyore… major depression.  I’m surprised he hasn’t killed himself by now.  A bi-polar donkey is no laughing matter, except for the purpose of this article.

 

 

Tigger has ADHD. Bouncing all over the place, spinning and jumping constantly filling the calm around him with “WooooHooooHoooHoooo’s”  It’s just ‘redicurous’. He definitely needs to be medicated and just chill the f*ck out.

Rabbit has OCD. Though his case is mild, it’s still serious enough to where I think he needs medication and therapy. Maybe they can slip some into his carrot juice. Hopefully, they do it soon cause his kind of OCD is virtually borderline psychotic. I swear he wants to kill the other animals.

Last but not least, Christopher Robin is just straight up dilusional and I think his parents medicate him heavily. He has to be on some sort of drugs to have the depth of conversations he does with his toys.

I expressed my views on this topic to a friend of mine and he say’s I’m crazy.  All I have to say is, “Tigga Please. You know I’m right.”

winnie Winnie-The-POO Christopher Robin Milne with his Teddy Bear nailinmyanus


 

 

 

Happy Blankie: One to Love and One to Give

We recently discovered Happy Blankie, soft, oversized cuddly animals that are the perfect combination of stuffed animal and blanket. Pretty neat right? But that's not the best part. Every time someone buys a Happy Blankie, an identical blanket is given to a child in a hospital, orphanage or distressed situation around the world. How cool is that? Their mission is "one to love" and "one to give". What a great lesson for every child! Celebrity moms Brooke Shields, Tori Spelling, Courteney Cox and Kelly Rutherford all agree.

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$29
 

Miss Brittany’s Organic Fun Dough

Brooke Shields, Marcia Cross and Jessica Alba all keep their tots busy with Miss Brittany's Preschool Organic Fun Dough. Just like the classic, except that it's organic. Made of 100% nontoxic and recyclable materials, so parents don't need to worry if their child takes a nibble.

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$29.95
 

Cloud B: Plush Toys for Better Sleep

Celebrity Baby Scoop was recently introduced to Cloud B, a children’s toy company specializing in plush toys that help children sleep better. Cloud B, the baby sleep specialist, was established by two new mothers with the philosophy that every baby deserves a sound night’s sleep for healthy development. Cloud B’s products are developed in consultation with an advisory board of pediatricians and sleep specialists with a single focus: to achieve a better, safer sleep for babies and children everywhere.

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Price: $21.95-$38.00